Things. And thoughts. And hey, it's Friday.

I thought it was so flippin' sweet how many of you wanted to wish Declan well at his new job. Seriously. You guys are the best. It made me all misty eyed that you cared about my family and the big changes going on. He will read every one of the comments, too. Trust me.

On that note, we are husbandless/daddyless this weekend. He's away on a church leadership retreat, they do it yearly, and it's so fun for me...umm, right. I want a weekend away. Instead, my reward for three days of momming with no break (I know, I know, it's really not that long, and only one kid-but still) will be indulging in lots of treats. Water ice. Take out. Ice cream. To think I'll even be cooking once while he is gone is blasphemy. Just sayin'.

we heart daddy.

Yesterday a sweet blog comment mentioned that I've still never written the story of how I told Declan about Baby #2. I mean, I did write the post, but then it was tragically deleted and I totally lost my mojo, and had to just drop it for a while. And now? I am kind of fuzzy on the details a bit. Okay, I'm not that fuzzy on them. But it's a long story. A long, full day of me peeing on pregnancy tests in the Target bathroom while wrangling my toddler trying to unlatch the door. And I NEED to write it down, but it just feels boring to me now. I was hoping the spark of interest would come back and I'd want to write about it-but it hasn't. Maybe you can convince me. That is, if you want to hear it.

Because of my husband switching jobs, our Flex Savings Account (which is a long story in and of itself) had to be all used up by yesterday. It's a 'use it or lose it' type thing. It's all our money, just pre-tax dollars, and it came out of his paycheck bi-weekly. We knew this, for the last few weeks--but yet I sat and did nothing about it. And then I went frantic-crazy-woman yesterday when I realized how many hundreds of dollars would be WASTED if I did not use it. And I felt sick to my stomach. So I went over the details of what I could buy, went to my pharmacy, the lady helped me out even--and now I own half the store.

Then I came home, shopped some more on drugstore.com--booked a last minute appointment for an eye exam, got my eyes checked and ordered new, rad glasses. I spent a crap-ton of money yesterday (that HAD TO BE SPENT), and it stressed me the heck out all day. I have more bandages, character bandaids (with the rate my kid goes through them...), condoms (yep, they qualify), thermometers and heating pads & icy/hot packs than I know what to do with. Basically, I'm stocked for a long, long time. Thank God a few months ago I spent a good chunk of change from the FSA on a new breastpump & accessories. 'Cuz seriously.

It would have been way more fun if I could have spent the money on clothes, shoes, jewelry, pedicures, massages...you know. But noooooo....stinking government having rules. Psh.

It's Friday, and yet--for some reason with my husband not being around nothing feels different about the days. Which is a shame, because I usually love me some weekends.

Being pregnant in summer is no joke. I'm to the point where I'd like to wear nothing all the time. It's so humid here, and it's not even the 'hot' summer months. And sadly, having a very active toddler means that I am out and about often, in the heat, at the parks, sweating my arse off. I love loose fitting dresses these days. Even shorts feel too hot. It's really pretty pathetic. I basically daydream daily about floating in a pool, because that sounds cool, and heavenly, and peaceful, and...weightless.

Last night Eme & I were trying to make it to bedtime alive enjoying ourselves--playing in the back, taking walks around the neighborhood, stopping to play on the big rocks, watering the flowers....when she asked me for a treat. I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't take much to get me excited for a 'treat' these days either. So, I thought it would be fun. I really just wanted to go very local to dq, or something, since it was so close to bedtime and all. But then she got "water ice" stuck in her head and every time I'd mention "ice cream" she'd say, "No mommy, I want water-iiiiiice". So I drove the further distance and got her water ice and she sat on that bench, like a big kid, eating her watermelon flavored Rita's water ice. She wrecked her dress. She had sticky, sugary, drippy'ness on her legs, down her arms, on her chin, down her neck--but it was too cute. All those fun things seem to come with a price though. Late night out, solo-momma, toddler breaking down because it was past bedtime. But? It was still fun.

***

I hope all of you enjoy your weekend!

Ch-ch-ch changes.

It's kind of a big day around here. I've remained mum on this subject for the last month, but I think it's finally time. Time to talk about the big changes that are happening for my husband, for my family.

Job changes are a big deal. A big, hairy deal. And that's exactly what's happening around here. Today is my husbands last day of work, at the only place he's ever been employed (besides being a server at LoneStar, which doesn't count, we try to forget that phase often, as I was also a server at a restaurant next door to his, and boo to waiting tables).  A place that he's worked since he was 15 years old, after school for a few hours a day at first. Then, summers full time. Then, working part time around his college schedule. And after college, offered a full time position.

Ten/eleven years later--here we are.

The thing is, this job has been great. It has provided my husband with so many tools. So much experience. He worked his tush off harder than anyone I know. He poured his blood, sweat and tears into this place, into managing what was a failing department and making it something better, today.

In their busy season (Fall into Christmastime), he seemed to work virtually around the clock. Weekends, Sundays, even, after having worked already all week long, many more hours than he should have. Because he felt that ownership, he believed in what he was doing, and most of all--it kind of fell on his shoulders and he felt the heat more than anyone else as the manager. To say that season in our lives was stressful? Understatement of the year.

But still. Despite all that--we're both grateful for that job. For that experience. That it was just next door to our house. That Emeline & I could visit on a whim. Or bring him lunch. Or he could come home for lunch. And that he grew as a person and employee-making him into the catch he is today. As cheesy as that sounds.

This past month he got offered a job that I have no hesitations in saying, he will love. Why? Well, it's actually in the field he studied in school, and enjoys in his personal life. Computer stuff. Design. Back-end website stuff, coding, etc. (Words I just don't know how to use properly, so I'll just not, so I don't embarrass myself). His new job title is a Multimedia Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? :)

He no longer will be managing a slew of people. It's a different type of job, totally--and we're both ecstatic for the change. The change of pace around the holidays, the change of scenery, the change in responsibilities, the change in general.

Change is good. And this came at the perfect time.

I couldn't be prouder of him. I know at times he felt like he'd be doing something he wasn't truly passionate about forever--but I know sometimes when we're in it, it's hard to see out far enough to know that God ultimately has a bigger plan in mind. And He did for us. For Declan. And I'm really, really excited for him. And proud, mainly :)

They'll be some adjusting for me, too. His hours are slightly altered here. It's a further drive (well, anything is further than NEXT DOOR. ha.) There will be no surprise! daddy is home! lunchbreaks. But overall, it'll be good.

I'm excited to see life sparked back into my husband--because he'll be thriving in an environment he was meant to be in. And ultimately? That makes for a happy wife, too.

So cheers! To Monday. To his new, fresh, career start.

Prayers for a smooth transition are always welcome and appreciated. xo

Letter to you with ~10 weeks left....

To my littlest baby girl,

I get to meet you in about 10 weeks, give or take a little. And part of me cannot even believe we're that close. And sometimes? I wish it were tomorrow because I just cannot wait to have all those moments with you.

Those moments where I first get to lay eyes on you. The moments where I get to hold, cuddle and nurse you for the first time. The moment where I get to introduce you to your big sister who is waiting excitedly for you. The moment when we become a family of four. 

But yet we still have so much to do. And it's good. You need to continue and grow and get all chubby and cutesy in there. So hold tight.

You need to know we're so excited about you. We talk about you every day. Your daddy & I talk about who you'll look like and if you'll be a spitting image of your sister, or have your own very unique look. Either way, I know you'll be a beautiful girl, both inside and out. We talk about how much love you'll get from your toddler-sister. She's bound to have her moments, but overall? I think she's gonna smother you with love, endless kisses, and lots of hugs. 

You're entering into an insta-family. Something that I feel is different than when your sister came. We know a bit more, although we're continually learning, but that family kind of love--it's there. And we'll be welcoming you with open arms and hearts, little girl.

My hopes and dreams for you are simple. I want you to love God & people with all your heart, the same prayer I prayed and continue to pray over your sister. That you would have compassion and a heart so full of love. That you would love the unlovable. That you would embrace those that need to be embraced. That your presence would light up a room. That your inner light would just shine and shine. 

It's true, we're much more relaxed with your arrival than we were with your sister. I don't have the room ready (in fact it's still occupied by your big sissy), no clothes are washed yet, and the 'to-do' list around the house is endless. But? It doesn't mean we're any less excited. Any less ready to be your parents. We're stoked, little girl. 

So keep on growing strong & we can't wait to kiss your sweet cheeks soon.

Love Always,

Momma

(I wrote a letter at this time to Emeline, too....here it is.)

Boom, boom, boom-even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.

Writing about occasions, or holidays-whatever...it's not my thing. But I do it because I forget. I do it because I want to look back and remember all these fun things we do and did together as a family. And in a way, this is like my scrapbook.

We had one of those weekends that is mostly empty, but yet, so full. And no, I don't mean in a cute heart-felt-full way, although, now that I think about it--there WAS a lot of full-heart moments this weekend. I meant that I'm really good at packing up a weekend with odds-n-ends despite having 'no plans'.

You see, nesting has kicked in. Not in all areas (as my dirty toilets and dusty sills can attest), but in certain areas for sure. We spent a lot of time this weekend doing garage clean-outs (seriously, storing baby/kid stuff will be the death of me! no space. grrr.), cleaning out cars, etc. I even (for the first time in way too embarrassingly long to admit) took apart Eme's car seat, cleaned the cover, scrubbed that sucker down and vacuumed it out. And? Ew. That is all.

But we also balanced out the crazy nesting purges organizing with fun. We went yard saling one morning. We had dunkin donuts. We spent time together just our little family at the park, having dinner out on the restaurant patio, and ice cream outings. Declan & I put Eme to bed one night and spent a few hours out on our deck just talking...about everything & anything related to our future, our family, our dreams and goals. I love time together like that.

1. Friday night: Kicking off the holiday weekend with some back patio fun

2. Mac, totally lounging like the lazy pup he is. We love him.

3. My $15 desk & chair find for a work station I plan to make in my kitchen.

4. A little sunnin' action for momma while Emeline napped

5. At the park, she picked flowers & loved on her daddy.

6. Our ice cream date.

7. I made mini-strawberry-shortcake cups for our cookout. 

8. We got a little patriotic for Memorial Day.

9. Cannot deny the cuteness of a baby bikini, no sirree. 

---

After Friday night, Saturday & Sunday Funday--we still had the big Memorial Day cookout at my parents house. My dads birthday normally falls on or close to this day, so we also celebrate him! (His birthday happens to be today! Happy birthday daddio. smooches.)

My parents house and yard is the best (although it would be way better with a pool, just sayin'). They set up all sorts of water'ish fun for the kids, they have a trampoline, a swingset, ladderball & washers for the adults--lots of beer, soda, and ridiculously good cookout food.

And well--the rest of Memorial Day was history.

****

Put it in the books. Summer has begun.

New Spaces

Sometimes I think living in a 3 story townhome can be hard. All the steps. The limited storage. All the steps. Did I mention the steps? Ah, it keeps me thin(ner) anyway. (I like to pretend).

One of the things about having a townhouse is that we kind of lack on the outdoor space arena. We don't have a big backyard. Yes, it's true, I sometimes (often) wish I did. But that's not the case for us right now. Even though we have an end unit, our side grass is often a community dog-peeing spot. And if you live in a townhome development, you so know what I mean.

Therefore, we don't really play out there. Okay, ever.

You have to maximize your outdoor space in other ways. Adding a deck. Making a patio. Playing in your driveway. Those kinds of things.

We added a big 'ole deck about a year or two ago (totally cannot remember), and it has been great. It's nice to eat out there, although it's burny-hot out there from about 2pm-7:30pm, and even umbrella's don't give you relief with the direction of the sun. Still, though. We love it. We have a water table out there, kids picnic table, adult sitting chairs and tables--it's nice. I should get photos of that sometime. For now, you can see it this way:

For a townhouse, it is a BIG deck. It really is. So we love it. But this year, once we decided to take our house off the market, we knew we needed to do something with the underneath space. It didn't get enough sun to make the grass grow properly. It kind of became a little dumping ground for our pup (truth), and it was kinda gross and buggy back there. AKA: never, ever went back there. Creepy-town.

--

So, we decided to put in a rock patio beneath the deck. The area was sloped, so it needed to be graded & we hired Declan's brother to do the work with his team of guys (he owns a contracting business). Putting brick pavers or something fancier would have been thousands of dollars more, and honestly? I don't plan on being in this house long enough to enjoy that kind of return. So we went with the fun beachy stone, and slate pieces for some sturdiness in areas. And NOW we have a nice, fun spot where we spend a lot of time lately.

Eme has dollar store toys galore under here. She digs & plays in the stones (she's way past the age of putting stuff like stones in her mouth, for the record), she makes hills, she fills buckets, she dumps buckets--rinse & repeat. She would sit and play in these stones for hours, and sometimes we do. Who knew.

Did you know people are making stone boxes for their kids instead of sandboxes these days? They're cleaner, and also the manufactured sand has warnings for 'cancer causing' stuff on it. Scary. We didn't really plan this to be a giant play box for Eme, but it's kind of fun this way, too.

--

We installed swings, too. I got a baby swing for $2 at a yardsale (which sure beats the $24.99 it sells for in stores), and then we got Eme the 'big girl swing'. She likes her choice of swings, and enjoys both thoroughly---but one is really there for a certain baby sister that's coming along.

Daddy likes the swings, too.

Since these photos, I've added a bird feeder (my kid is obsessed with bird watching), rearranged a few things---but overall, we kind of love our new little outdoor space. Declan power washed the sides of the house and got it all clean down there, so I'm way less skurred of the bugs and stuff (I'm a wuss).

Playing out there has quickly become part of our nightly routines when we can--getting her all tuckered out before bedtime, and extra dirty before bathtime. It's a good time.

And sometimes, just sometimes, on a hot day--....a water fight breaks out.

***

That little investment of adding the rock patio has already proven it's worth. We're loving it, and have been enjoying some of this Memorial Day Weekend hanging out  down there.

Speaking of which---have a happy Memorial Day, friends.

Hello Baby Deux: 30 Weeks Update

**I just want to start this off by saying, thank you. So much. My family felt the prayers that were offered up for us, my grandmom and my poppop. We felt them, so much so. This last week has been a whirlwind and honestly? I feel kind of like a freight train hit me. Lots of travelling, lots of intensive family time, lots of goodbyes and cries and hugs and hand holding. My Poppop passed away on Wednesday evening at 8:30pm. He lived a great life, and was an amazing guy, which makes his lost presence hard to handle, for sure. I'm not sure when/if I'll write about this any more--but I didn't want to ignore it after Tuesday's post. So, thank you.**

---

I want to update on this baby. I just feel like I need to. Besides, we're at a milestone, people! 30 WEEKS. *blink blink blink* How did this happen?  Some days I have moments of OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE WILL BE A BABY HERE SO SOON. Other times, I have moments of, TEN MORE WEEKS? I'M GONNA DIE. So, to say my emotions are a little all over the place about this--okay, it's a bit of an understatement. Plus? I've done a whole lot of NOTHING for this poor kid. 

The Babe

Everything seems right on track. She's hiccupping multiple times a day (which I have to say, drives.me.crrrazzy), just like her sister did. Which I know means one thing--I need to stock up on gripe water now. Holy cow, Emeline had hiccups as a newborn so often, and lots in the womb--so we're doomed. She moves around most at night when I'm sitting still. Just like Emeline, my walking around, daily-routine stuff keeps her pretty much (what seems) asleep, then when I want to sit down and relax, my belly is party time.

The Momma

I passed my glucose test with flying colors. My doc told me I'm the picturesque pregnant woman, my levels of everything are always good, no blood pressure issues, no protein in urine, passing the glucose test & such--now let's just hope I somehow didn't jinx that. My hips are sore. I FEEL more pregnant these days. But then sometimes I'll still have moments of not feeling pregnant at all. It's weird. I am, though, starting to get more uncomfortable in the ribcage area. I think she's just getting bigger.

The Bod

Meh. We're good, no swollen ankles or feet yet. But I'm up 19-20lbs or so. Still in all my size small maternity stuff, so I don't feel too bad. But I have already mentally signed up for multiple 5K's and weight watchers :) Ha. We'll enjoy the rest, give myself a few weeks, then it's back to business in the body arena. 

The Big Sis 

She's the best. Rubs my belly unprompted. Talks about being a 'sister'. Tells people her name. Asks if she can talk to her through the "hole" (my belly button), and gives her "huggies & keeses". 

We're just soaking up our time of just her in our lives. That's my main focus this summer. 

***

10 weeks to go!! eeee!

---

Came across some photos of me at 30 weeks with Emeline, so I decided to mimick it this time to see the difference. I think I'm a bit smaller this time around. You be the judge!

THIS PREGNANCY:

LAST PREGNANCY:

***

I will bottle this up.

Sitting there in the living room-turned-hospice-bedroom for my Pop Pop, I hugged his hand with my hand.

My grandmother sat across from me, red-faced, tears welling up in her eyes. She looked at me with that loving grandmom look. "It all happens in an instant, Katie. He was fine one day. The next day, some back pain, then one thing led to another, and now we're....(she looks at my Pop Pop, lovingly...pausing)....here."


I know, Grandmom. I know. Life is so full of unknowns. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I say.

I feel my Pop Pop squeeze my hand. He's still asleep. Breathing deeply with the help of an oxygen machine. I run my finger over his wedding band. The one that's been there for 61 years, representing his faithful and strong commitment to my grandmother...to his family.

She looks outside at Emeline playing on the deck with my dad as she says, "Please. Just enjoy every second. Every minute. I know. I know it's hard. I know that you do. Life is just so fragile."

I smile, I tell her I will. That I do. That I'm so very sorry.

***

I'm reminded that life is full of unknowns. Our time with our family is not promised to us. Despite the long life my Pop Pop was able to lead, no matter what, when someone's time comes to an end, it's painful. Humans feel. We're supposed to. And it feels awful.

I am just thankful for the life & legacy that he's had.

And for the hours or days we have left with him, we will hold his hand, pray with him, be there as often as we can, and outpour love on him. He deserves no less.

Thank you for all your prayers during this time.