It was June 4th...and I had one day until school let out for summer! That, alone was a wonderful feeling. I had thought it was definitely possible I could have also been pregnant, but had convinced myself to wait to test until the 5th, the day my period was due. I always had this theory that it's better to just let your period show then to test and see a negative result and get myself upset. Declan had already told me he'd get up with me the morning of the 5th, no matter how early, and support me. He's a sweetie like that.
Now, inside, I was feeling slightly hesitant about this. Only because I didn't want him to see me upset if the result was negative. For a guy, often they just think, "Well, there's always another month." Whereas, for the girl...it's much more emotional. A month feels like an eternity.
I was at school that day and had gotten an email about a family in our district who was in need. They had needed three twin beds, and one full bed for kids in the family to sleep on, or else the county was going to come in and take the kids away. The parents are good people, who just suffered financially. In the email, they stated: "Please respond ASAP if you can assist".
Instantly, I felt the Lord say to me, Give them your bed. (We have a full mattress in our guest bedroom, which was our 'spare' room for our future nursery.)
I thought, Maybe I should email Declan and ask him first.
He clearly said, No--just give away the bed, I'm going to fill that room anyway.
I emailed them right away and offered up our spare mattress, and instantaneously a sense of peace came about me. I was no longer 'scared' to test and see a negative result...I was EXCITED because I knew it would be positive. I really felt that confirmed within me.
So, I decided to go home, at 4pm and take a test. Now, I had only just peed an hour or so before this, so, it wasn't 'concentrated' urine, nor was it 'first morning urine' or 'FMU' as it's called on pregnancy forums and such. I just went ahead and took the test.
My hands were shaking as I set it down on the counter. I had thought there was a little shadow of a line, but then made myself look away, because oh my gosh, it'd only been 10 seconds...and the test says to read after 2 minutes. So, I set the timer on my iPhone for another 60 seconds, and went about 'cleaning' up the bathroom from the mess of pregnancy test boxes and such that had somehow strewn themselves about.
Sure enough---there was a line. Oh my gosh...! There was a line!! I was squealing, jumping up and down, shouting, "I think I'm pregnant!!" No one was home, and my dog just stared at me with that slight head turn as if I was crazy.
From my research, I knew that a line is a line...no matter how faint it is...it's a positive. But, I felt Declan may need more convincing (which wasn't necessarily true). So, I headed out to the drugstore to get a 2pack of digital tests. Peed yet again on another test only 20 minutes later...and sure enough...clear as day-the words were there. PREGNANT.
I knew it. I had known it in my gut (and in sore crampy uterus) the past week or so, but needed this little test to prove it. I was SO excited. I had an hour until Declan got home from work, and then I'd be able to share with him the amazing news.
It was 5:30. Declan was about to get home. Wanna know the truth? For the last two months I had known the way I wanted to tell him (which is partly why him testing with me in the morning wouldn't have worked so well). I already had made (I know...who does this?!) a little tag to attach to Mac's collar...so he could be the bearer of the news. I mean, he's one of the biggest parts of our lives right now, and it only seemed fitting. So the tag said, "Will you still love me in 9 months?" I thought it was a cute idea. Everyday, Mac greets Declan downstairs at the front door. He watches for him out the window, when he see's his car...and he runs down for scratches. Why would today be any different? Which is why I felt this idea was genius.
Well, the plan worked out as magically as I had hoped. Mac ran down, greeted Dec, as I waited at the top of the steps in anticipation. He saw the tag, bent down, read it....and yelled up the steps, "BABE!?!!"
He ran up and grabbed me, hugging me and spinning around in excitement. It was genuinely one of the happiest moments ever. He then proceeded to say, "I just knew it...something was different".
He was right. There is a little bean growing inside of me that will be our first child..that will make us mommy and daddy...that will bring us so much joy, sleepless nights, laughter, heartache, frustration, and amazing memories.
...and we are stoked.