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Saturday, October 10, 2009

High School

A conversation I had with my sisters yesterday really spurred me on to think about this subject. One thing in particular was something my sister-in-love, Kesh said:

"Wouldn't it be nice to do high school all over knowing how much status doesn't matter later in life?"

I don't care what part of the crowd you were in during those 4 years...but no matter what, it was something. There was some sort of teen-made status system that is created in high school, that now, looking back on, makes me laugh quite frankly.

You know...there were the really "popular" kids (oh how I dread that term--it's so cliche), the kids who were really into sports, the few that mingled between the crowds, the "goth" (now, emo) kids, band kids, drama people, and the ones who were picked on so badly it almost brings me to tears thinking about now. No one should endure torture of any kind...and gawwwd, especially in freaking high school.

But thinking about all of these so called "statuses" just makes me sick. At my wise old age of 24, knowing what I do now, and what I know of my old high school friends and even ones who weren't so much my friends----

What the heck was all that about anyway?!

None of the statuses ever mattered. Yet in that moment, they rocked your world. No one [now] thinks about and recalls what you were in high school. No one would remember if you tried out for the volleyball team and never made it. No one cares if you weren't wearing the most up-to-date clothing. No one really cares nor remembers what kind of car you drove. No one would remember if you stood up for what you believed in instead of gone with the crowd (or maybe they would--but would that be such a bad thing?). No one cares who you dated, and which party you attended on the weekends.

NONE of it matters anymore. Honestly? It didn't even matter then...yet somehow, most of us let it matter so much.

Seeing those old high school people often brings back a flood of memories of who they were then, and who they associated with...even though, that may have all been a facade.

Just the other night I saw a kid from my high school walking in my neighborhood with what looked like his wife and a baby...and I said to my husband, "I went to high school with that kid. He used to be a jerk."

just.like.that.without.hesitiation.

I quickly corrected myself and said, "You know what? He actually was probably a nice guy..."

Because ohmygosh, who can be judged based on their high school days?

Kesh is right...going back and doing high school all over again knowing that status never really mattered would have truly made high school a totally different experience...for EVERYONE. The popular girl. The math-whiz. The choir kid. The bank-geek.

For all of us.



16 comments:

  1. This is what I wish I could tell my students every day. This stuff gets in the way of me doing my job sometimes, also while breaking my heart. And it's just so pointless, looking back! I wish the kids would get that!

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  2. Great post. I hated my first high school so much that I transferred one random day in one random week to a new school. Although I liked my new school better and found some good friends, I never felt like I really fit in anywhere. That probably had something to do with transferring in the middle of my sophomore year. If I would have known then that none of it mattered, it would have been SO much less traumatic!

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  3. This is so true because status in high school means nothing down the line.

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  4. You are absolutely right. I have a cousin in high school right now and watching her live through it is like going right back there (the "it party", the "it clothes", having to take just the right elective to be with the "it crowd") and it is exhausting. I didn't do all four years, I graduated early (looooong story) what would have been my junior year was great for me, working in the real world without all the drama. My friends from school would come over to my house and tell me how lucky I was to get out of there, and in a lot of ways I felt they were right. And when the group of girls that I was friends with had some silly feud and stopped talking to each other their senior year, I wasn't involved in the drama and was able to retain my friendship with each of them because of my "outside" status. Looking back, I might have missed a few things, but I am glad that I missed all the drama!!

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  5. I completely agree. My little sister is 20 now but she seems to have missed this memo. She is still completely hung up on being in the right crowd and doing everything like everyone else. I wish I could get this point through her head. Hopefully she'll get it one day...

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  6. I know, my friends and I talk about it sometimes now. It's really weird for me on facebook now because the "popular" kids are nice to everyone else and we're all pretty much just friends on there catching up. That would never happened back in high school.

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  7. I went to a really hippy dippy high school, and although there were definitely cliques, everyone was still pretty nice to everyone else. There wasn't any "Mean Girls" action or anything like that going on...it's only now looking back that I realize how fortunate I was!

    Though, I still have a hard time letting go of stereotypes or my perceptions of people from high school as well.

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  8. Merideth maybe I went to the same highschool as you. :)

    My high school was chill. Sure people had their group of friends but everyone was nice to eachother and mingled. Middle school on the other hand was a battle zone. ;)

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  9. I would not go back to high school if someone paid me, I look back now and see everyone so differently now! I can honestly say I am not really friends with anyone I went to highschool with...and I am glad!

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  10. Totally agree with you. Thanks for this post- I visited my old high school the other day, and needed to be reminded of this.

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  11. so true! I graduated only 2 years ago and already everyone's status from high school means nothing. It's so funny, the things that seemed to matter so much!

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  12. This is so true!! I feel bad for people that are our age and still talk about how great they were in high school... no one cares about that. Move on..

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  13. I have people who come into the bank I work at from high school all the time. And all the time I say, "Ugh. I can't stand that guy." or "We never got along." when I have NO idea if we really would have issues outside of high school. Thanks for bringing that up.. I think I'll work on that.

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  14. you're completely right! to be honest, i don't even really remember what I was like during high school....hahaha go figure!

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  15. hmm - I have mixed feelings about this. I had a great high school experience. I was friends with everyone no matter their "status" so to speak and I was really involved in different things. I think if I went back to high school with my knowledge now it wouldn't be that "high school" experience kids are suppose to get. If you think about it, High School is a HUGE learning experience and very much shapes who you are. While I do not believe anybody, child or adult, should have to be subjected to a lot of the things that they are... If you go back to High School minus your naive nature on the world, then it wouldn't influnce you the same.

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  16. My school never had the major cliques either. Obviously in a high school of 800 kids there were different groups, but over all everyone got along. Our band was the state champs for many years and a lot of your typical 'cool jocks' were in the band. It was def. a weird dynamic.

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