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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

a.w.k.w.a.r.d.

Can I please just talk about pregnancy today....? Please. I'm really trying to lay low about the pregnancy (minus all the puke-talk...! sorry! it's so overwhelming!), and honestly-I don't want my entire blog devoted to it. However, it's a pretty big thing in my life right now, so naturally I'd want to write about it from time to time.

One of the things I hadn't ever realized was how awkwardness comes as a side dish to pregnancy [a side dish you DID.not.order by the way...]. You tend to hear about all the joyous things with pregnancy, and then about the really icky part (hello morning sickness, how are you?), but the awkwardness? Notsomuch.

One of the BIGGEST things I'm struggling with is primarily due to the phase of pregnancy I'm in. I'm in what I'd like to kindly refer to as the, "Is she or isn't she?" phase. It's so.annoying and somewhat humiliating.

I can feel the stares.

I can see your eyes drift down to my tummy while you're trying to maintain a conversation with me.

I can see you eyeing up my stomach from the corner of your eye while you're checking out my groceries at Wal-Mart.

I can feel those little insinuations in your mind that maybe, possibly that little bulge is due to an extra cheese burger last night.

I see it all.

It's terribly awkward. You feel the need to shout to world, "I'M PREGNANT!"...but you don't. Because then, you've just admitted that yea, indeed you're a little self-conscious of that bulge that might be a baby belly or may possibly be a beer gut.

I have never been a very thin girl-but, I have never had a very flabby stomach. That's one area I've always maintained a more flat look (thanks to genetics, and shout out to my mom whose body I inherited). But, somehow...and in some way....pregnancy has warped my brain. Every single day I have to consciously think that indeed, I do look different. My stomach has never been this "round" before.

Recently, I've found myself looking in the mirror contemplating if my body really has changed, or if I've always looked this pudgy. Odd. Because the proof is in the pictures. But, for some reason, I still do it to myself. I can blame pregnancy brain, or I can just blame the pure awkwardness, the stares, the side glances....that make me dilusional.

On top of all the awkwardness you feel from others during the "Is she or isn't she?" phase, maternity clothes are starting to get necessary, but are too big and make you look frumpy. Regular clothing (especially shirts) don't feel long enough to pull down as long as I'd like anymore. Because of the obvious boob growth, regular shirts from your wardrobe are generally a little too tight, and even slightly uncomfortable. Belly bands are terribly annoying, and I feel the need to fuss with it all stinking day. I hate that you can see that your pants are obviously unbuttoned and slightly unzipped through the belly band. So classy.

Therefore, pregnancy is awkward.

In this stage at least.

And so I leave you with a picture of me fully clothed for once. This is what people see everyday. This is the awkward beer gut that get's the glances.

This is the belly that is growing a healthy little baby, that makes all that awkwardness totally worth it.


...because one day I'll have a baby to prove for all this, and I can say (okay, "think"), "HA--it was a baby gut after all, people!" In.Yo.Face.

39 comments:

  1. I, or one, think you look a-dor-able!!! And can so tell that you are pregnant and it's not an extra cheeseburger.
    I'm the exact opposite of you, I'm afraid. All my extra baggage goes straight to the gut... so I already get the "aww how far along". Yeahhhh... it provokes tears. I'm thinking you won't even be able to tell I'm pregnant until month 6!

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  2. You crack me up. You look fantastic and I think you look pregnant!! You will pop very soon!!

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  3. It is a bit of an awkward phase you are in right now, but like you said TOTALLY WORTH IT! People will stare for many different reasons, (they could be checking out your awesome scarf), so just let them stare. This awkward phase will pass.

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  4. You are in NO WAY awkward. You are BEAUTIFUL! =.) God has chosen you to bring one of His miracles into the world. You are blessed! =.)

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  5. Girl. You are GORGEOUS! You can totally tell thats a baby in there and not a cheeseburger! :) You do crack me up though!! lol

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  6. Girl, who cares what other people think (I know, easier said then done), just embrace it!!!! :)

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  7. Hahaha, nice :) Maybe you should patent a t-shirt that says,
    "Yes.
    I AM Pregnant".
    It would definitely set some minds at ease, and make conversations comfortable.

    You DO look gorgeous, and it's quite plain at this point that your food pyramid dosen't consist of Big Macs and Bud. :)
    Congratulations on this blessing! Will be praying for you as you progress :)

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  8. aweee you look GORGEOUS and I can tell that it's a beautiful baby belly and not a beer gut! HOWEVER, I totally know what you mean about that in between stage! you said it perfectionly!

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  9. Katie I love this picture of you, it's so CUTE! :) I would definitely think you were pregnant, but not just an extra cheeseburger lol

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  10. You are so cute! To me, it's obviously a baby bump. You're a little sweet momma, no ifs ands or buts about it.

    Also.."the obvious boob growth" may be my new fav phrase. Just saying.

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  11. Look at you hot mama! You may be feeling awkward but you look beautiful!

    the awkward phase will continue as those looks turn into comments...somehow strangers (and un-strangers)feel brave enough to give you their 2 cents...how big you are...how big you aren't...stretch marks...nursing...it continues on and on...and then when precious baby comes along it just keeps going...your baby is so big...your baby is so small...where is the hair...look at all that hair...blah blah blah!

    I say...if you feel like it, comment back! You have the, "I'm pregnant" excuse...USE IT OR LOSE IT! :)~

    I will never forget the day my coworker asked if I should be eating that cookie...I replied, "I can eat whatever the hell I want to" Somehow, I never heard another peep from her...lol...and I am usually not one to do that but...even now, I'm glad I did! :)

    And please...keep talking about your pregnancy...I love it...and I know I am not the only one!

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  12. You look adorable, and obviously pregnant. Enjoy the stares now because in about a month when your belly is really out there, you'll get all of these random comments and then you'll REALLY be blogging about awkwardness!!

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  13. Your Beautiful hun!!! That baby bump is stunning. xoxox

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  14. you are absolutely adorable...enjoy every minute of it:-) (except the puke of course)

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  15. A waiter asked me the other day whether I was pregnant or "just really like beer"--no joke!

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  16. LOL...I remember that stage too!! I've never been slim, so I know where you're coming from!!!

    But, I think you look adorable, and you don't look like you have a beer gut at all...lol!

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  17. You look beautiful! And it totally looks like a baby belly to me.

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  18. Definitely looks like a belly belly :)I hope if I am blessed one day to be a mommy I look as darn cute as you do!

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  19. you look absolutely amazing! So cute! And yeah, I can usually tell pretty fast whether it's pregnancy or a beer gut but my husband....not so much. We were standing next to a pregnant woman in line who was OBVIOUSLY showing and had a very large rounded bump, clearly in maternity clothes and doing the whole, hand to the bump thing and he still couldn't tell! He leaned over and was like....soooo is she overweight or pregnant, and I just about died on the spot. I am so in for it when I get pregnant....I could probably hold off on telling him for at least 8.5 months and he wouldn't have a clue...

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  20. You look gorgeous and freaking sassy! Heck yeah to you! :)

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  21. I hate to tell you that the awkwardness doesn't go away, it only changes. Once your stomach is obviously a baby bump random people will feel that it is their God given right to touch it and talk to it, etc. And then they WILL give you pregnancy advice, parenting advice, and all kinds of other opinions you never asked for. But like you said, in the end it will all be worth it!

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  22. you have a cute bump i think you can tell you are pregnant! xxx

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  23. That is a definite BABY belly! It's so cute and round, and extra slices of pizza don't make you cute and round! :) I think you look beautiful!

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  24. Ohmygosh you are absolutely stunning!!! Pregnancy looks good on you, girl-you look radiant and I'm really not just saying that! And my friends have said the same things about people wondering if they were or werent and were so thankful to hit that "yes, she is definitely prego" stage.. haha.. :) My friend used to massage her belly when people would stare as if to say "yes, I am.." LOL! Hilarious..

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  25. That stage was really tough, and I still get it. When I was working at my last job, some people would say YOU'RE PREGNANT?! and then ask how far along I am (SEVEN months) and then tell me I look more like 4 or 5. When I was 4 or 5 people did the weird staring, kind of like - that girl needs to lay off the potato chips! Sometimes I did announce I was pregnant just so people would stop having those curious looks. But like you said it is definitely all worth it and I think you look gorgeous!

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  26. I would just like to say that I think you are absolutely adorable as a new mommy! you look so pretty in your picture, enjoy it!!!!!!

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  27. I've decided that when I'm pregnant, to remedy this, I'm just going to rub my belly in that "pregnant way" a lot. LOL!

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  28. I found your website from another site I read, and I fell in love with it! I wish you luck with the pregnancy and everything that goes with it, and thanks for sharing your stories. I especially loved your blog where you posted your flaws, it takes a beautiful person to blog about their imperfections!

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  29. You totally look pregnant!! How can anyone confuse that? You look so stinkin adorable...I hope I look that cute one day ;)

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  30. You look awesome!!! I am right there with you..I am feeling uncomfortable too. Definitely, in my head, that everyone is thinking wow..is she letting her self go or???? I also keep trying to remind myself..totally worth it!

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  31. You look great! I would completely guess you were pregnant and not a beer gut. Belly bands work great for this period...check them out!

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  32. Katie, your belly is adorable! Definitely pregnant, not beer belly! Just give it a couple weeks and it won't even be a question anymore :)

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  33. You look pregnant. people should realize no beer gut could ever be that round.

    You are totally cute pregnant!!! I hope i look that cute when my time comes!!!

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  34. ahhh congrat. a girl friend just gave birth and another just got preggo. you look pregnant and cute. : )

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  35. Okay, I re-read this and finally saw the belly band comment. ;) I never had those problems with mine...it never moved and you couldn't see that my pants were undone. Maybe it depends on the brand?

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  36. Well, I think you look simply adorable!! That is clearly a baby bump to me. :)

    I think this would be the most annoying thing for me when I one day AM pregnant (not that I'm even married yet!!). When I'm pregnant I want to LOOK pregnant, not like I "let myself go". But then I'm one of those annoying people who can't help but touch a woman's baby bump, so you'd probably slap me if you ever saw me. :)

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  37. You are too stinkin cute. I was never that cute preggo because I swelled everyfreakinwhere.

    PS I got my earrings! They are wonderful! I wore one pair Tuesday and the other pair yesterday :)

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  38. oh my goodness! I am going through the same thing right now!!! I feel the looks I'm getting!!

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  39. Oh my gosh-you are stinkin' adorable! You're like that cute pregnant lady that everyone wants to be, but so few can actually pull off. The belly definitely looks like a little baby is on the way :0) I love your hair too!

    Oh, and I love your pregnancy talk so blog as much as you want about it!

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