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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Funny Kid Comment of the Day: The "I finally told them" Version

I took the plunge. I told them...you know, about the big lump on my mid-section. It was starting to get out...and I had no real choice in the matter. Clearly.


Seeing as I teach over 30-some classes in a 6 day cycle...I've only gotten through about half of the classes, and with even just that--it's been, well, amusing to say the least.


I thought it was quite fitting this week to do a recap on what the kids are saying, since, FRIDAY we will have a gender set in stone, hopefully.


Without further ado...here it is.


And people...kids really do say the darndest (or weird, semi-cruel, and amusing) things.


Oh, and my personal comments are in parenthesis next to their quotes. I did NOT say these things out loud. I swear.


~~~


“Mrs. Balla you have to think pink. If you do NOT think pink you will get a boy. This happened to my aunt. This time, she is thinking pink, HARD." (Why, thank you. Had I known it was all about thinking then it would have spared me many-a-nights of tossing and turning.)


“Can I ask you a question…just who is the father?” (Okay, totally inappropriate, huh? It totally caught me off guard and I responded..."Umm..how about my husband? How's that sound?" lol)


“When you finally get a big stomach, you’ll have to rest something on there, and then watch it bump up and down. That’s what my mom did with all 3 of her pregnancies!” (Thanks for the tip.)


“Don’t worry Mrs. B…it’ll be hard, but you can do it.” (I guess I look worried? Or I'm totally coming off not as cool as I thought I was...ha...)

"I just thought you were eating too much junk food!" (Freaking KID! Now I'm annoyed.)


“Wait, Mrs. B…are you MARRIED?!!!!!!!!!!!” (Apparently you cannot look young and be married…according to them.)


Kids chime in: “You have to be married to be pregnant!” (breathing sigh of relief. It's kind of reassuring that they think that's true!)


Then some kid yells: “That ain’t true! My mom had me and she’s STILL not married!”


*back to reality*


“how exactly does a baby feel in your tummy?” (whoa…TMI. Personal questions stay inside those zipped lips, please.)


“Can I babysit?” (Over my dead body.)

“IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?!” (If I knew...I'd tell you. Trust me. I'm bad at secrets.)

“If it's a boy, you should name the baby Sherman after my imaginary friend.” (Sherman didn't quite make the short list, kid.)

“If you have a boy, you MUST buy them that little walker thingy. My cousin has one and loves it!” (Apparently, girls don't need this contraption. They are just that much smarter then boys, hehe.)

“YOU DON’T EVEN LOOK PREGNANT!!” (Why thank you...)

“Wait…will you be leaving us????” (and reality kicked in...that they will.have.a.sub.)

~~~

That was just part of it. Honestly...every single day I hear more and more crazy things. I guess, that's part of what I get for teaching over 900 kids. I get 900 opinions. I get 900 completely ridiculous baby comments. I get 900 kids begging to go to my baby shower. [For real. That happened. Today.]

Sigh.

My life...

EDIT:

I must add one that just happened to me....

"Mrs. B--do you know yet what section its gonna be?...like...an A section...or a B section?"

(I thought he was referring to the "sex" or gender....so I asked him if thats what he meant.)

One girl cut in and said, "No no...he wants to know if the baby will be CUT out of you or not."

I said, "OHHHHHHHH! Like you mean do I know if I'm going to be having a C-section or not?! Now I get it...A section...B section...C section...."

(Freaking laughing so hard in my head)

"Well buddy...I really don't know that yet. But, I have a feeling that's something I won't be sharing to my classes."

19 comments:

  1. These are hilarious. I love the 'who's the father'. And Sherman for a name. LOL. Needed a good laugh this morning, thanks!

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  2. LOL!

    I'm dying! Laughing out loud during my planning period in my office! I love the "Who's the father?" HAHAHAHAHA!

    Oh seriously, I have to stop! I have tears in my eyes this is so funny!

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  3. Hahaha! Man I love kids! This is too, too cute! Poor little kid with no Dad, just a baby daddy, lol. Love it

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  4. It's amazing what comes out of kids mouths when their parents aren't around! Good luck with all those questions!

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  5. Haha. I like the idea of thinking pink! too funny!

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  6. Seriously, every single one of these made me laugh, haha!!! :) Gotta to love the innocence of kids!

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  7. Too funny! I love your funny kid comments!

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  8. HAHAHA "who's the father"!! That one cracked me up! Kids are hilarious. I get some pretty odd comments for one hour a week at cheerleading practice with my girls I can't imagine 900 kids everyday!!

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  9. I LOVE the little kid comments. I've been getting some pretty funny ones from my niece and nephew lately too....

    One of my nieces (she's 4) heard her mom and I talking about having to go to the doctor for a check since movement had decreased. She responded, "It's okay Aunt Mere--Lizard is probably just watching TV in there and not listening to you when you tell her to move."

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  10. I love the "section" question! So cute. :)

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  11. Oh wow. I think I'd be too scared of what would come out of those little mouths to tell them. I think I'd just go with the junk food thing.

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  12. hahahaha! a section, b section, LOL

    Can't wait for Friday...please cooperate little one :)

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  13. oh my goodness! That's Hilarious!

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  14. That brought back memories of when I was pregnant. Nothing like being preggo and working in an elementary school. Thanks for the giggle!

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  15. Kids do say the funniest stuff! I love that one of them said you didn't even look preggo :)

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  16. hahaha these are too freaking cute! I loved A or B section question lol... i don't know how you keep from bursting out laughing haha

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  17. This is utterly hilarious. What sweet students you have! :)

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  18. Hahahahaha! An A or B section?!?!?! Priceless.

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  19. the a b c section thing made me laugh out loud! ha! Nice! and oh how cute those kids are.. Sherman.. hahah.. Yeah, "I named my baby after my student's imaginary friend..." Maybe not. ;) One of the lawyers I worked with named his baby girl ___ and I said "Oh, that's pretty!" He said "yeah, we got it from the Real World one season.." I laughed bc I thought he was kidding. He wasnt. It was awkward. hah!

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