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Monday, December 7, 2009

Something I've been dying to write...

Kind of odd to talk about my blog, well, on my blog. But, I'm going to try and do just that. In fact, this particular post will take me days to write, as not to miss any important details I'd like to discuss. But...here it goes.

I love to write. I do not consider myself a writer. I hate to journal in an actual pen & paper type of way. I, absolutely have never journaled in this way before successfully. I have many-a-journals with one or two entries in them, and the rest are just empty pages. Some people would say that you're only a real writer when you write in a pen & paper type way. That's debatable, but not true in my opinion. But again, let me clarify: I do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT consider myself a writer. I just love to blog. Which happens to involve writing. That's that.

To learn a little bit about me, I think you all should know that blogging is not a trend for me. It IS literally, a part of me. I have been writing in an online journal for just about 9 years now as of December 30th. 9 YEARS! They say it takes 30 days or so to start a habit...so, I believe now that after over 3,000 days of writing in this format--it becomes more of a way of life then anything else. [For the record, I used to blog on LiveJournal, and then in 2007 started with blogger.]

I blogged for all this time without hardly a single soul reading what I wrote. Up until this spring, my only real readers (or blog-checkers) were some of my family members and a few friends. That was it. My intentions of blogging was never, and is never to "get more readers", because, honestly...although I love you all (I really, really do!)...I write for myself. Despite what anyone else thinks.

Yes, of course, there will be the occasional fun swap, or giveaway...and obviously that involves you lovely ladies (there really arent any men readers that I know of), but on a normal day-to-day basis...the blog is for me. It is, in fact, an online journal of sorts--is it not?

Now that I have some really great friends through this thing called blog-land, I have really learned to love and appreciate your encouraging words, comments, and heartfelt gestures (packages, letters, emails, facebook, etc), and the hand that has been reached out to me in the best of times and worst of times. Many of you, truly are my friends, and there are a few of you I know I'll one day meet. [It is amazing who you can connect with just by blog-reading, isn't it?]

On another note...lets talk about my blog title for a moment, Loves of Life. When I created this blog a few years ago, I believe it went without a title for a bit. Then, a few years ago this "Loves of Life" phrase stuck. I think the title in itself says something about the way in which I view my life...as do many of your title's. They really do encompass in a glance just what the blog is about. I do in fact, view my life as glass half full...I do try to find the little joys and loves in my ever-hectic life trying to cut it as a teacher, wife, homeowner, and soon-to-be-mom. I, really, genuinely do. I think that many of you who know me...know this is true.

Does this mean that I don't complain? Heck-to-the-NO. I complain too often and am working on that. (You've often heard the complaining here.) Does this mean I'm oh so patient and loving? NO. I often say, "Why did I become a teacher if patience is a necessity...honestly?!?!"----BUT. I do, genuinely, and truly try to find the joy in the midst of tough situations, use my heartaches and trials for good in the end, and strive to be a better person. Whether my journey is on a slow track or not...it's going in that direction. Or else, that's my goal.

So this little second home to me is more then just a blog. It's that. A home. I get offended when people say things like, "Well, I don't have time to blog." [Making it seem like I have all the time in the world. Trust me-I juggle a lot of things too. Hello? Masters degree almost done, while working full time, taking care of a house and husband in between running to the toilet due to my soon to be firstborn...yea..busy, I get it.] Because, it's almost the same as me saying, "Well, I don't have time to tie my shoes." It's just a natural thing, a part of me, a part of my life. How about...a necessity. For me.

Also-I want you to know that what you are reading is always true (okay, of course I insert sarcasm and slight exaggeration for dramatic effect at times...but you get it). I do not try to hide parts of my life, but obviously, as I try to only post once a day--naturally, there are parts that just won't ever be written about. I do NOT ever try to deceive anyone into thinking I have the perfect life, the perfect marriage, the perfect house. But? As you can see-the title of my blog alone shows that my focus isn't on the negative. It just isn't. I don't view my life that way, and pray that I never will. Do I have my moments? Or my posts that are filled with utter agony and grief at times? Absolutely. After all...we are dealing with life, here...full of unexpected twists and turns.

However, every one of you who has been around for a while should hopefully realize that I'm not afraid to share about the nitty gritty of my life. I also, have a hard time keeping the heartache inside, when it's clearly very much there in my life at that moment. I am honest...almost to a fault.

This blog, as dumb as it sounds, is an extended version of myself. It is, just that, though--part of me. It's real, it's honest, it's the truth. Even with posts filled with heartache and anguish, I hope that you see the true me is to uncover some deeper meaning, and find the good in the midst. If that happens days, weeks or months later--then so be it.

Obviously...this blogging journey for me hasn't come to an end yet (and possibly never will unless you can hold me down for 30 days computer-less to break the habit of blogging...hehe. Works for nail-biting, I hear!), and although I did it for years with no one listening...I want you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. If there were no one out there reading or listening...I would, indeed, still be typing away daily at my computer, hitting submit on this blog. After all, it's me.

Thank you for hearing my heart and for your endless encouragement.


24 comments:

  1. Love you girl! Wish we were closer...
    xoxo

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  2. you took the words right out of my mouth regarding why i blog... i've been blogging since 2004, and it is part of my life now!!

    love your blog, and keep it up!:)

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  3. I couldn't have said it better!! I totally agree about 'no time to blog' I am super busy and always find time because my blog is so important to me...also like a home.

    I adore your blog and will keep reading if you keep writing :-)

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  4. I totally understand your frustration with people who say "I don't have TIME to blog" or "Just wait....you won't have time to blog once the baby is here". And maybe I won't have as much time. But for me, it's almost therapeutic to blog, so I will make time. And damnit, don't fault me for that!

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  5. I love how honest this post is. Even though I just started recently and am no where near your 9 years of blogging, I can see what you mean about it becoming just a habit.. you don't have to make time for it, because it's just part of your normal routine. I like to think of my blog as an online scrapbook of random pics, things I like, quotes,etc.. it's not something I have to do, just something I want to do.

    But anyways just wanted to say I really enjoy reading your blog and I think you are a better writer than you think you are ;)

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  6. Me too! I used to be on LJ and then switched over to here.

    Thanks for continuing to blog, I love reading whatever is on your mind! :)

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  7. aww well for you not to be a writer you sure do write wonderfully and I love your blog. Blogging is the same for me on bothe personal and interpersonal levels. I do try to increase my followers though because I do want to be heard but 98% of why I blog is just for me.

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  8. I think you are a great writer, but that is besides the point. People that don't blog just don't get it. I don't think they ever will. I agree, blogging for me is important enough to MAKE time for it. That's like saying to someone, "I don't have time to go to the gym".
    I hope you keep blogging away for a long time to come!

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  9. Loved this because it's so so true..... a true test of where your heart is at is if you're still writing even when nobody is reading or even if you don't get a single comment. That's what blogging is all about. It should only be for you and you alone!

    Great post!!

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  10. Beautifully written, my sister. Your heart is pure and I totally see that. This blog will someday be a great thing to show your children... just like my mom wrote down so much of her life to share with her children. I love you and you are an amazing blogger! :)

    xoxox - ALWAYS!

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  11. love this honest post!! Being a blogger is therapeutic even if no one reads what you're writing it's nice to have commenters and readers but I think I'd still be writing even if I didn't. On the other hand as long as you're blogging I'll be reading :)

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  12. This was a great post, Katie! I cannot believe that you’ve been doing this for 9 years. I don’t think I’m a great writer and never claim to be, but I definitely think that journaling is better for me when done via my blog. That is one of the big reasons I like to do recaps of trips I’ve taken and even just write about anything I’ve been up to over the weekend. It’s nice to look back at and see what I did or where my head was at. I’ve only been doing it a little over a year, but I love it and it has become more that just a hobby to me.

    I never thought that I would “meet” so many wonderful ladies through my blog and never even thought that anyone would really read it. It’s amazing the friendships I’ve made with complete strangers just from blogging.

    I think you picked a great name for your blog and I try to keep mine in a positive place too. I definitely do not and never want it to turn into a place where I’m negative and complain all the time. Keep doing what you’re doing and I’m here for the ride :)

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  13. I agree 100%. Blogging is my therapy and there is just no such thing as no time to blog. I'll stay up late to do it if I have a day that I need to! I hear you on not trying to get more followers. That's why I only extended my giveaway to people who are already my followers! Great post!

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  14. i think i should receive an award for being the only person to read every single one of those entries over the last 9 years... haha

    oh lj days... it was so fun. :)

    love you and your blog sissy!

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  15. I love blogging too and it is def a part of my life now. I know looking back 5-10 years from now I am going to LOVE reading and looking at the pictures I posted from when I was in college. Also, I am sure my future children will enjoy it just as much!! Love your blog girl!

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  16. i adore your blog but i love even more that you've been writing for as long as i have! I used to be an LJer back in the day (2/2001-9/2007).

    the thing i love most about the blogs i read are the realness of the writing. We're probably not all the next faulkner's or whatever but the writing is real, and we all write for our own reasons be it therapeutic or dying for the attention that blogging brings some people. Either way, I can't help but respect all of my fellow bloggers :)

    had to delurk myself, but i love this post because it's so true and so relatable :)

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  17. I love this post. I love what you are saying. I always feel like when I post that I'm sugarcoating my life, but my life is good and I feel grateful for it. I want to document the highs, not the lows. Believe me though, there are many lows and I know I should do a better job about showing both sides in my posts. Thanks for inspiring me!

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  18. Although I read your blog entries everyday, (I feel like I know you) I have yet to really comment! So here I am! I just loved this post! You've inspired me, Im new to the blog writing I actually am a pen/paper kinds girl, err at least until the blog, but I thought about you saying you write for you and it clicked, I find myself writing to "someone", and not really being totally me. I will be thinking of you with each post from now on and....Me! XOXO

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  19. I'm so glad your blog is a part of you because I love you and I love your blog!

    Don't change a thing! My days wouldn't be the same without your posts (and texts:) dear friend!

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  20. Beautiful post; I'm a reader but not always a commenter.

    What you've said about sharing the nitty gritty, good and bad, happy and sad is so true. It's something that I know I can do with blogland because everyone truly IS so supportive but sometimes I'm scared or afraid for reasons that aren't even clear to me.This is going to inspire me though.

    *On a side note, congratulations on your pregnancy. How exciting!*

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  21. I love this one. It's crazy how many of us out there share our lives in this strange way. But it IS so theraputic and helpful and I'm amazed every day at the women I find. Women like you and Gina and Brittany Ann...I'm really so thankful I've met you all.

    Again, love this.

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  22. I absolutely 100% agree! And I LOVE your blog!

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