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Monday, August 31, 2009

First day happenings...

The first day is like the honeymoon phase of marriage. It's all wonderful and lovely, the kids are so well behaved and even slightly shy. The halls are pretty quiet as they're doing their best to 'walk on the silver line' (one of the odd things we in our building). It was so great to see the kids--and it seriously amazes me how TALL they get over the summer and how some of them have truly put on some pounds (afterall, they didn't have phys ed and probably snacked in front of their xbox all summer).

I was
so impressed when I woke up this morning and didn't have an inkling of anxiety, after all it is now my 3rd year of teaching. It felt just like any other day of school and I fell back into the routine as easily as I fell out of it all summer.

Don't be fooled by this beautiful post about my first day back, however. With all these nice words in the air...let's just recap a few of the kick-in-the-face moments of my day. Shall we?


-Walk into my room at 7:58am. Smell something funny...really funny. My stomach starts to turn. What the heck is that smell? Mold? Poop? WTH? I consult with a few teachers and ask for "second opinions". Instantly, they say-"Dead Rodent!" (as if this is something they left out of orientation last year!) They were freaking right. There was something dead in my ceiling. Luckily, a fan and a cool, breezy day (hallelujah) did the trick. Crisis averted (but not for rodent).

-Very.first.class.of.the.day. 4th Grade. Boy. Before I had even given them their seating arrangements. I hear some gagging. Look over. Hand covered in white'ish vomit in the air begging to go to the nurse. My TABLE--covered in vomit...dripping onto the floor. Grab a trashcan and send him and a friend to the nurse. Luckily, the janitor cleaned it up. I am not paid nearly enough to have that as part of my job description. It's a toss up--did boy get sick because of dead rodent smell..or nerves? One will never know. Kids grossed out the rest of class (as am I). I quietly snicker everytime a new class comes in and someone sits at that seat (muahaha). Cuz, come on...? It's FUNNY.

-Last class of the day. 1st grade boy. Yes, the first day of school can be overwhelming, and a tad boring. Yes, I had to give my blah blah speech of rules and things. Did I add humor? You freakin' bet I DID. But, apparently..it wasn't enough. Boy was asleep. So asleep that I couldn't even wake him. It took me 5 minutes. I was tugging at his arm, shaking him and had the rest of the class chanting with me to "wakkeee uppppp". When he finally did, he looked at ME like I was the bad guy. WTH!? This isn't pre-school anymore kiddo. There is no naptime. Art class is most CERTAINLY NOT your nap time. I told him next time he gets tired to stand up and do jumping jacks. He looked at me like I was insane.

Happy first day back to me. 179 kid-days left. Checking each day off...one at a time.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Silent (almost) Sunday's: Too cute to resist

I forced my pup, Mac to "sit up like a person" today (cuz i'm into animal cruelty and all, pshhh!) next to the Mr.
I love this...I think it's just too cute not to post.

Happy Sunday!


I've now realized my dog has a little alfalfa hair sticking up--and he needs a good bath and brushing. He doesn't know what he's got comin'! muahaha! (there I go with the cruelty again)


Dear blogging friends...

I have a question that I'm struggling to answer. I'm finding mixed theories, mixed practices...that are leaving me utterly confused, and sometimes frustrated.

When you comment on someones blog, do you go back to that SAME blog to check for a response (if you asked a question) or a follow up comment? And if you do this....where on earth do you find the time to do such a thing?!

I know for me, that I follow over 100 blogs and I REALLY.DO.FOLLOW.THEM (read every post). When I feel inclined, I want to comment, sometimes ask a question--but I expect that person to come back to my blog and leave a comment there. I do not want to click "follow up comments" and have a bajillion and one emails in my box to sift through.

If someone comments and I want to answer their question, or respond...I go to their most recent post and do it. This is the blog courtesy I follow...what do you do? I'll be honest, if you respond to me, in your own comments box, I probably have never seen it. I just simply cannot go back and check every day.

Help....let's join forces and make this all one standard way of communicating...cuz it's driving me crazy.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thankful Thursdays


7 hours of hard work=2 welcoming, fun classrooms

DVR--when I miss big brother, I can watch it without fretting

My sick puppy seems to be feeling better

A principal that recognizes my hard work

Family members that love you enough to forgive you

Sister coming home from Zambia TOMORROW!

Little brother settled into college (my alum) safely

A Coach purse that is still in awesome shape after 1.5 years

A dishwasher

A Dr.Pepper with a straw

Delicious tomatoes, straight from my garden

Relief from my headaches today

My sweet hubby who sat and just talked for a few hours last night

The weekend to recoup and recharge

The lovely weather we've been having

My blog friends...you all are truly amazing people and I'm loving getting to know you.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Can I shut my emotions off?-- Warning: Whiney blog ahead.

I'm an open book. You all know this. But, I'm not an open book at my workplace. I need to keep my personal life separate for my sanity, and I most certainly don't need my business spread everywhere by certain gossip-y teachers (all of you who are teachers can think of at least one of these...am I right?).

Honestly, it's been almost 6 weeks since the miscarriage...but why the heck do I still feel all this emotion? I know know...you'll say, "It's normal...it's okay...You need time to heal...". I'll feel perfectly fine for days at a time, and then there will be days like today...that suck.

Back-to-school is an interesting thing. The teachers have been separated from one another for almost three months (it was an abnormally long summer this year-no complaints), and a lot can happen in that time. So today, when the entire staff got together for the first time there were all sorts of "pregnancy announcements" that happened during the faculty meeting. People who are literally to-the-week where I was supposed to be. They were sporting the same cute little bump that I was supposed to be sporting. They had the pregnancy glow that I was supposed to have. They had the excuse to eat whatever-the-hell-they-wanted. They got up to pee numerous times during our meetings. It hurt so bad. I literally sat there, with the background noise of a talking principal thinking about how sad I am, where I was supposed to be in that pregnancy and why I let this pain me so bad.

I'm not angry at the people who are pregnant, that would be silly. I'm not angry at all, actually. I'm just more sad then anything. I was literally sitting there in that library with tears welling up in my eyes.

A colleague of mine (who's a mom in her late 40's), leaned over and said, "Nice tattoo". I trust her a lot, she's just an all around good person who I admire and respect greatly. I said thanks and told her it had a special meaning, and that's more the reason for it. I looked at her, with watery eyes and a red face and told her about my miscarriage (all talking under our breath during the meeting). She immediately, without hesitation, reached her arms around me and embraced me. She told me her very first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and she truly understood the pain I felt. She said, "You know, it's odd because so many women go through this--but most of them never talk about it and deal with the pain on their own."

She's right. So many do. I just can't shut-up about my emotions like everyone else, its too painful. Yes, I control them--especially while at school (and I truly trust that with her, it won't go anywhere), but it's so.freaking.hard.

The icing on the cake is when other teachers (especially pregnant ones) talk to me about when I'll be starting my family, give advice/tips, etc. I just swallow hard, because honestly? What else is there to do...?

If only they knew.

~*~

I am sooo tempted to disable comments on this post because I don't want any one to feel any pressure to try and make me feel better. I am sorry for this terrible, no good, totally not normal ME that is coming out on my posts lately. I don't know how else to express it.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A permanent equation.

You need two sis-in-loves....

plus two very personal meaning's and reasonings....*

add in some pain....



with a dose of fun....

Which equals two very cool tattoo's.


(Lyryn's)
*My tattoo is my permanent reminder of the little love that we lost who I'll one day meet in heaven.
*Lyryn's tattoo is to represent her little love, Jayden (and also my nephew!)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Welcome back....

Today I came home from my first day back to school after summer vacation. The kids start back next Monday. After spending a day in a grueling meeting, I spent a little time in my classroom. The best thing about coming back is seeing your new 'order' of goodies come in. It literally feels like Christmas day. That was the best part of my day.

Upon coming home, the list of "to-do's" kept running through my head. From the moment I stepped out of my car in my driveway, I became overwhelmed with the inevitable. I'm back. Back to reality. No more free summer days, leisurely doing all the things needed to be done around the house. No more of this. Time is not on my side anymore.

Literally, I saw a garden that needed weeding, clean laundry folded but not put away sitting by the washer/dryer, a kitchen that needs some TLC, random bits from vacation ALL over, an unmade bed (this is now the norm since school is back in session, except for weekends, sadly!), suitcases strewn about, and the thought of making dinner haunting me.

This is it. It's back to the norm. No more checking blogs whenever I want during the day. No more random trips with my sister-in-love and the nieces. No more meeting friends for coffee at 11am. No more sleeping in. No more freedom.

I welcome the 'schedule' back to my life, but with some dread. I admit.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Riding in Car's with my Boy


Car rides were never something I liked growing up. We took a few very long trips to Tulsa, Oklahoma from Pennsylvania that pretty much threw me over the edge of my love for road trips. A van. All your siblings. Sometimes a dog. No comfy place to sleep. A million rest stops. Dirty toilets. The hours...oh the hours. Are we there yet? Yea. All of this pretty much made me into a hater of long car rides.

But then, it happened. Declan (who was my boyfriend at this time) decided he wanted to go to a specialty college for production in Florida. I was devastated. However, there was no way I was going to let him take that trip down there and move into his apartment all by himself. So, I put my hatred of long car rides aside, and hopped in his little neon for the long haul.

We had the best conversation. The greatest laughs. Lots of tearful moments (I was a mess that we would be separated by distance for the first time ever). Played some random traveling games. Made car repairs. Made McDonalds runs. Lots of dirty toilet breaks. All of it.

I treasured that time with him so much, that I had a newfound love for long car rides.

A series of misfortunate (or Godly!) events took place, and led us to pack Declan back up, and head home to Pennsylvania. He was not meant to go to that school, and literally one.thing.after.another made that decision clear as day. We had been in Florida for not even a full day when we made the decision to go back. Without any hesitation (and after a lunch stop at chick-fil-a) we were back on I95 making the long journey home again.

This car ride was so different. The conversations were much more geared towards our future. What next? What's my life path? What schools should I look at now? Should I work full time? When will we get married? Questions galoore. We had an open road ahead of us and hundreds of miles to discuss it...and I loved it. It was that drive that I really believe cemented our future together. We frequently joke and say, "We drove to Florida and back just to eat Chick-fil-a!", but it was truly more then that. We both know it.

Last night we did a middle of the night drive (9pm-3:30am) home from the Outer Banks. Just the two of us. We are seriously made for eachother. Car rides are peaceful. Encouraging. Relevant. Learning new things about eachother....and oddly...inspiring. We are eachother's co-pilot (oh gosh, I'm one of those corny girls now), and I love, love, love riding in cars with my boy.


Over.the.moon.EXCITED

I'm not the winning type. I've never ever ever ever ever won anything pretty much in my life. But, a few weeks ago I entered into a giveaway at Kristin' blog (whom I love and adore reading) for these awesome little button purses made my LaurenKathryn. To my surprise, a few days later, I got an email saying that I WON and I was t.h.r.i.l.l.e.d. It's always fun receiving packages in the mail too--right?

So, we just got home from vacation (at 3:30am, ouch!)...and after sleeping a bit I decided to check the mail. When I did, and saw a cute little package waiting for me--I did a little hop, skip and a jump and ran inside to show Declan. Of course, I documented this.


...and I opened it...to find the adorable button bag....FILLED WITH GOODIES!


Isn't this all so fun?! It has made my day, seriously. Thank you to Kristin for the awesome giveaway, and please head over to Lauren's Etsy Shop to grab one of your own. You can truly see that she cares about the details.


*I may or may not have 3 different lip shine's on all at the same time, and have my toenails prepped to be painted in that glorious pink tone.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thankful Thursdays

Time for a beach version of Thankful Thursdays....


I am thankful that literally EVERY day here has been GORGEOUS. This is not supposed to happen, there is always one rainy day of vacation...but no....God is good. We are enjoying all the sun-time.

I'm so thankful that I'll be going back to school with a tan. Shallow, I know.

I'm thankful that my puppy isn't being a bad boy at home (yes. I check in.)

I'm thankful for time with family.

I'm so thankful that Declan and I got out to a much needed breakfast date this morning. So fun. So relaxing.

I'm thankful that we don't have to share bathrooms with anyone at this beach house (other then your spouse!)

I'm thankful for a pool. I am NOT a lay at the ocean girl. I could post a whole blog on this, but give me a pool--and I'm there. The ocean? The sand? not so much. BUT...I like being at the pool near the ocean. Weird.

I'm thankful for nail polish to touch up the toes from said pool.

I'm thankful for a permanent reminder of the baby we love that we lost (pictures coming soon).

I'm thankful for the most amazing dinner at Dirty Dicks. Alaskan King Crab Legs=heaven. Seriously.

I'm thankful that Lydia got voted off Big Brother! (just had to sneak that in there!)



What are you thankful for?



Wednesday, August 19, 2009

"Your Blog is Fabulous!"

Thanks to Laura at Our Crazy Adventure, I received a blog award today! I'm thrilled. She is such a nice girl, and I LOVE reading her blog. I love this award, too...check it out.


There are 2 rules for receiving this award:

1. You must list 5 current obsessions.
2. You must pass this on to 5 people.

~*~

1. My first current obsession is headbands, duh. No real surprise, right?!

2. My second current obsession is harder to admit....Big Brother 11. I know, I know. But once you start, you just c.a.n.n.o.t stop. helllpppp.

3. My third current obsession is starting our family. Although, I wouldn't really call it an obsession, it's just we are soooo ready. The miscarriage only made it more real/hard/frustrating.

4. My fourth current obsession is blogging. I love it. I've been doing it for two full years almost to the day. Crazy.

5. My fifth current obsession are my nieces and nephew. I'm one of those crazy in love aunts, what can I say?


~*~

I'm passing this onto 5 other friends who I love reading their blog, and they're faithful to read mine, too.

1. Katie @ The Mathis
2. Paige @ Live, Love, Laugh
3. Brittany Ann @ Living in the Moment
4. Kristin @ Jorden & Krisitin
5. Ashley @ Let Go, Laughing

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading all these ladies blogs...you should get to know them, too.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dear Motherhood...

Dear Motherhood Maternity (and other random websites you sold my information to!):

Please stop sending me emails about the best pants to fit my "bump" at this stage of pregnancy. I am not pregnant anymore, and it feels like you're rubbing it in my face.

You are not sensitive in the slightest bit, because you're just a stupid computer system that vomits out a bajillion emails a day. I try to unsubscribe, yet you still do it---to badger me, harm me, make me go batty-crazy. Stop it. I'm begging you.

I do not want a discount on maternity shorts, belly bands, or anything of the like. So shut the heck up and LEAVE ME ALONE. You're not helping the situation, and I hate you for that.

Sincerely,
a-completely-gone-mad-not-my-normal-pre-miscarriage-self.

Thanks.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Silent Sunday's: first day here...


oh-em-gee...I seriously can't get over my nephew's cuteness.



...and a squinty one of us on the beach.



Happy Sunday!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Off for a week!

We're off to the Outer Banks, NC bright and early in the morning for vacation. I'm really excited to spend this time with my "in-loves" because they're wonderful!

I think I'll take a little break from blogging, but you may possibly see a few posts with pictures. I'll have my camera, and well, I take too many pictures (normally), and I won't know what to do with them. I'll try to hop on and keep up with everyone, if I can.

Well, I'm unpacked, laundry isn't even completed, and my house is in disarray...so, with that, I must go.

Have a happy week, everyone!

A Happy Birthday Poem....

Each and every year (for a long time, now) I write my sister-in-love, Lyryn a poem on her birthday. Well, tomorrow, August 15th is the day. We're leaving for vacation pretty early in the morning, and so it only seems appropriate to post this now.

Happy Birthday tomorrow, Lyryn--I love you!



Has it really been another year?
You're 27 now my, dear.

I know, I know, you don't like that sound.
Birthday's tend to make you frown.

But, I want you to have an awesome day
Remembering we love you as much as we say.

You're not only a sister, but a friend...
Always honest and open to the very end.

You're transforming each and every day,
into a writer and encourager in your own way.

Your life is a testimony to the Lord,
Pushing you on and strengthening the cord.

When you look back on life may you see a sweet song,
You were down, brought back to life, and pushed along.

Lyryn, my amazingly beautiful sister and friend,
Happy 27th year--filled with love and laughter with no end.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thankful Thursdays

This is my first "Thankful Thursday" post...and I'm excited. I love to look back, reflect...so, here it goes.

.I'm thankful for tylenol, because without it, my head would be pounding (worse) then it is now
.I'm thankful for a relaxing home and atmosphere
.I'm thankful for a weeklong vacation to the OBX (this saturday) right before diving into a new school year
.I'm so thankful for a job that I like, a lot. Teaching kids has its difficulties, but the rewards are great.
.I'm thankful that my mom and brother are on their way home from Zambia safely

.I'm thankful that my sister isn't staying in Zambia for 3 months this time (only 2 more weeks!)
.I'm thankful for a friend who is house-sitting/puppy-sitting so I don't have to take my pup to the dreaded dog-sitters like last time
.I'm thankful that getting my car fixed was only $106...coulda been worse.
.I'm thankful for air conditioning
.I'm so thankful for neices and a nephew that make my heart smile
.I'm thankful for freedom of expression (whether it be headbands, jewelry, tattoo's or piercings)
.I'm thankful for sisters (I have one birth sister and SIX sister-in-loves)
.I'm thankful for new flip flops that won't break
.I'm thankful for an adorable, sleepy, puppy whose cuddled up behind me.




Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Birds....oh my heavens, Birds!

Did I ever tell you about my love for birds? Why yes...I believe I have. No no...not live birds---decor birds. They are one of my favorite accessories to my home (much like headbands to myself), and I seem to find them here and there, and when one speaks to me, I take it home (and it has to be a good deal!).

I was looking at a blog today and it was about home decor and su
ch...and it triggered me to look around and count the 'bird' accessories I have. I started taking pictures...and well, I'll show you.

Here is my flock.










....and that's not all of them, I shamefully admit.

Would I call this a collection? Heck-to-the-NO. A collection is something elderly people have, right? Okay...maybe not exactly. However, I can't help but think about a trip to my Grandmom's the other day, when she showed me her whole collection of birds and German glass people (which are worth a ton, might I add) that were in a lovely lighted glass case. However, her birds were different. They were shiny, they were colorful...they were freakishly realistic. They weren't my style whatsoever. However, once I expressed my love for birds I saw her eyes light up. I bet they'll be written in the will for me now (which is better then her scary porcelain dolls). In all seriousness, I love my grandparents. But, our collections are different right?

Or maybe they're not...

Either way, there you have it. My intense love for all things bird. Some of it, anyway.

After this, I swear I'm done with talking about headbands.

Two great finds today. Again, $2.99 (what is it with me and that price!?)--what a deal. Oh and please excuse the mop of a hairdo. It's a mangled mess.


I'll be adding these to my headband holder shortly....and....fixing my hair.


**EDIT** Because so many are asking...these are from Ross, Dress for Less. They were in a hodge podge (quite a mess, actually) of headbands, and I searched through and found these little gems.