I vividly remember my dream...vividly. I think all the stress from my dream is what gave me that wicked headache I'm still trying to fight off with tylenol and half decaf/half regular dunkin donuts coffee.
Let me explain.
I had the baby already...and I was home the next day after going home from the hospital by myself. In real life, I'm assured this will never happen to me, as I'm making sure Declan uses his vacation for after the baby comes. But, in my dream...I was alone.
I was so tired, and I saw myself waking up at 8am after a good full nights sleep. I looked over, and saw a cradle...and there was my baby boy. I grabbed him in a bit of a panic....
"Oh my gosh--You slept so good, that I forgot to wake you up and feed you last night!!"
He didn't make a peep through the first night, therefore, I neglected my child from the 3-4 hour feedings he needed.
What a horrible, horrible MOM I was...already.
So, I grabbed him, and remember thinking to myself..."ahh..The boob! He feeds on the boob." I whipped it out, and indeed...he fed, for all of 10 seconds before he was 'done'.
I felt like the worst mom ever. In fact, as I started pacing around the house I notice it's in shambles...COMPLETE shambles (which I fully expect to happen when you bring an infant home)...but, it only made me feel worse. Please note: In my dream, my "house" was my parents house. Interesting.
So, then I look down at my sweet little baby boy and think about the fact that I haven't even announced his sweet birth yet on facebook. [Which is of utmost important in this day and age.] Of course, all my friends would want to know his weight...and height....and his name for goodness sakes.
"Wait. What is your name?"
I COULDN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME!
My own child.
I didn't remember what I had named him. In my dream, I remember scrolling through these names:
Is it...? *
ahh-How could I forget?
...and how much did he weigh at birth anyways??
How come I didn't know these things?
The stress level rose, and I believe this is the point where my headache grew and grew.
At this point, I woke myself up. I looked around...and saw no cradle....felt my stomach....realized, there is no baby "here" yet. I have some time. About 5.5 months left to be precise.
I'll have time to pick a name.
I'm pretty sure I'll remember my child's name.
I hope that I'm not too delusional to forget how much my kid weighs either.
But, again? Who knows? I've never done this before.
All in all...the dream freaked me out a little. No, I'm honestly not scared to be a mother. But... one thing I am scared to turn into...? A super stressed out human being. I'm really not that person, and I hope that a baby doesn't change that about me. I like my more laid back personality.
Anyway--that was my odd dream of the day. Pregnancy has given me insanely weird dreams. Like, murder-type killer dreams. Awesome.
*those are not names in the running, fyi. however, I have always been a fan of tyler and joel...I just like the name.