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Friday, January 15, 2010

A letter to my past, present and future pregnant friends

I follow over 100 blogs as you know--and probably of those 100 at least 15-20 of you are newly pregnant, very pregnant, practically in labor, and even sadly, going through the loss of a baby [I so feel your pain...I soooo do, and my heart breaks with you].

I really love keeping up with your pregnancy journey, your bump pics, and your "I felt the baby kick!" posts. Seriously.

But one thing I've found for me is that pregnancy (so far) is just not glamorous. It's filled with lots and lots of barfing, getting to know all the toilets in your house all too well, falling asleep on the couch at 7pm, feeling like a rare breed of dog that could sniff out a fox from a million miles away, dying of disgust over the smell of dog food/old people*/and scented candles, feeling like you could faint all because of shower steam, major constipation to the point of childbirth pain, horrible heartburn**, stretchmarks in odd places, growing feet and feeling out of breath just by walking up the steps--- just to name a few.

I feel like I've been really honest about my accounts with the not-so-glamorous side of pregnancy and have tried to maintain a healthy balance of, "I really do love being pregnant!" (and so have you!). Because, its true. Although your body is going through so.much.crazyness in the making of a human--it is just plain amazing, too.

With that said, I find it oddly refreshing when my pregnant friends (on blogs and irl) talk about the reality of pregnancy, the crazy things their body is doing, the way their hair/skin changes, the weight gain, and all the un-glamorous things I mentioned above. [If you have none of these things...luuuccckkkyyyyy!]

Why?

Because it shows we aren't alone. It makes you and me feel human and less alien'ish (sometimes pregnancy is so awkward!), because other people are feeling the same things, going through the same things and living it with you.

"Am I carrying too big/small?"

"Why aren't I gaining enough weight?!"

"Gosh...the weight gain is so scary and mentally hard."

"I wanted to lay on the couch my entire first trimester, I felt that.sick."

"Omg...I'm craving Mcdonalds...."

"I puke.all.the.time. this cannot be normal or healthy."

All of these things plus a billion more go through most pregnant chicks minds. It has to. I don't consider myself to be that odd of a girl, and definitely a few of those are/were questions and concerns on my mind. [Especially if this your first time!]

What I'm telling you is that it helps. It helps to hear your experiences...it helps to know you've been there, it brings comfort and relief when pregnancy can often bring anxiety and lots of questions.

So don't apologize when you have a whole post dedicated to your "oh em gee-I just puked and peed my pants at the same time" story (oh, wait, that was me), or your "I was up all night with severe constipation and hubby had to buy me everything on the shelf at the 24-7 walmart" story (oh. um. me again). whoops.

We are real.

We
are humans growing humans.

...and honestly?
If it's not done in a complacent way every time (sometimes, one has to complain just a little), then I just see it as people being real--sharing life together---and sharing experiences in this crazy, exciting, amazing and rewarding adventure we're on.

And if you know me, you know I'm all about that.

Blog on, pregnant friends....blog on.

*For those of you who have flawless pregnancies with close to zero side effects...we totally envy you. This is absolutely, 100% not about you lucky folks. All I can do is write about my honest accounts of pregnancy, which happen to be full of symptoms and awkwardness (and also a mix of wonderful!)-and encourage those of you who are like me to do the same if you feel led.*

~*~

*I actually did not ever have a smell issue with old people. However, I read this on a pregnancy forum I'm on, and it made me laugh.

**Heartburn has not been an issue for me...yet.




23 comments:

  1. Nicely said!!

    I love your (and others) honesty. I am not pregnant yet but I do love blogs that are honest and I can relate too. When I am pregnant I plan to share the good bad and the ugly about being pregnant and being a mom!

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  2. I'm with you on the pregnancy issues!! Neither of my boys made those 9 months easy on me. I was violently ill with both, I kid you not I was still throwing up the day I gave birth! The smells, the cravings, the weirdo everything, was not fun but so rewarding. It's nice to know that you aren't the only one suffering through huh? Especially when you know so many who LOVED being prego, and it makes you already begin to question your mothering skills. haha you are not alone.

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  3. Vitamins cause the constipation...take a stool softener every day and it will help tremendously! You'll also beg for them in the hospital and after. ;)

    p.s. Just because some people love being pregnant and have none of those issues, doesn't mean they aren't being real. Everyone is different and everyone's body responds differently. For those who have very boring/easy pregnancies, don't feel alone either. There are a lot of us out there too and there is nothing wrong with not having side effects. ;)

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  4. I skipped over every blog this morning to get to this one! Very well said and very true! I've always been very honest on my blog, so I don't know why I've felt so guilty doing so now. You're right though, if I were to read a blog of someone's who were in the same stage as myself, I would love to hear that they too can't seem to get off the couch without passing out!

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  5. I don't know what it's like to be pregnant, YET, but I do know that I will hopefully be joining you and I'm sure I'll have my fair share of complaints. Because no matter how wonderfully amazing it is, you're body is doing crazy things and you're giving up yourself for your baby. I'm sure you kind of lose your identity in the process, but once it's over, you'll have a whole new wonderful identity. I.can't.wait! :-)

    Thanks for being honest, it's refreshing!

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  6. Complaining = Sanity

    For me, anyway. But then, this is my third kid so I'm SO disillusioned and love to gripe.

    *You're lucky about not having a smell issue. I'm currently in love with the smell of my Cetaphil face wash. Yes, it's weird. I can't help myself. Last pregnancy I hated the smell of the grocery store. Again, I'm weird.

    *No heartburn? I hate you. (not really) Wait until (if) the hemorhoids start. Talk about having something to gripe about.

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  7. I love reading the other pregnant blogs too! I can honestly say I've shared the good, bad and ugly with this pregnancy! Thankfully it's been 98% good! But after I read this I was checking some of the other blogs and came across this and it just made me giggle

    http://ugliesttattoos.com/2010/01/15/funny-tattoos-revenge-is-best-served-cold/

    Thankfully morning sickness doesnt stick around after the baby is born! :)

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  8. I love your blog and your honesty! And when my husband jumps on the 10 kids bandwagon :-), I'll be refering back to yours and all the other honest girl's blogs!

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  9. Trust me, pregnant bloggers are a solace to me so often as a TTC women. I don't know where I'd be without friends like you!

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  10. Trust me, pregnant bloggers are a solace to me so often as a TTC women. I don't know where I'd be without friends like you!

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  11. Love the honesty!! I hope you start feeling better and the nausea starts to fade away!

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  12. You're cute.
    This will be a great way to remember your pregnancy when it seems like your sickness "wasn't that bad."

    You reminded me of an experience from my first pregnancy--early in my 2nd trimester, I got a new job that had morning hours--completely different from my waitress job at night.
    On my first day, I thought I would be a good pregnant lady and take my vitamin with some OJ.
    By the time I got to work, I had to use the bathroom. Midstream, the bathroom smell just got to me and I couldn't hold it in-threw up all over the floor while sitting with my legs up in the air so I wouldn't get anything on myself...uggg.....just a majorly awkward moment and perhaps the first real moment of how much things were changing.

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  13. You're right it does help! It wasn't until baby #4 did i have online groups to join of other preg mommies to listen to and bounce ideas off!
    we are ttc #5 woohoo and can't wait for the pregnancy ride again!

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  14. I love this post.

    AND I needed to hear it.

    Random smells are starting to get to me already. And let me tell you, dealing with the bout of stomach flu that is going around our household is not helping things....changing Logan's diapers (yes, we are back in diapers for today...that should tell you enough) is literally making me gag.

    Thanks again for the reminder!

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  15. I wrote my weekly post last night, feeling like everything was hunky dory, then this morning I had the lovely metallic taste when I ate my Cheerios. And then I remembered I found a SPIDER VEIN earlier this week.

    But, let's remember, we're pregnant -- we can't remember half the things that happen. Finding that spider vein was totally terrifying to me , yet a few days later I couldn't think of anything notable that happened this week. We're doomed to either only be able to remember the really bad, the really good, or nothing at all.

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  16. hey katie!
    just wanted to thank you for your sweet comment! thanks for being so encouraging!
    ps. love the preggo reality post...funny how there is so much no one tells you about pregnancy! it's like joining a club with membership that has seriously crazy dues :) haha

    btw, you are so stinkin cute with that bump of yours! i SO wish you could have been my pregnancy stylist...i looked like crap when i was preggo!! haha maybe it was the 80 lbs (yes 8.0.) i gained! i can't even begin to tell you how jealous i am that you are at 4 lbs! you make it look easy :)

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  17. I hear ya! Just today, I felt great in the morning, ate some bread and cheese for lunch, starter feeling sick and was vomiting by 5pm. Took a folic acid, estrogen and 2 colace for dinner, lol!
    Those ladies who feel great their whole pregnancy haunt my dreams.

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  18. That's the best part of pregnancy, keepin' it real. And it continues after the baby is born. Don't stop now! :)

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  19. I'm so with you--pregnancy ( and post-partum recovery ) ISN'T EASY. And I always struggled with trying to find a balance between being honest about the fact that it was really hard, while also not wanting to come across as someone who took their pregnancy for granted--because above all, it IS a precious gift from God.

    But I agree that we do a dis-service to each other if we only blog about the happy times, and not our struggles as well!

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  20. I've loved following you throughout your pregnancy! I've been quite lucky and the only bothersome thing to me is sleep and an aching back..but it is all about growing another human being and it is simply amazing..scary..and wonderful!

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  21. I'm so glad I'm learning all this stuff NOW so that I can be prepared! LOL.

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  22. So very true. I just love honest blogs in general. It's nice to know that we can be ourselves and other people can do the same. Keep up the honesty- it helps all of our sanity!

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