Saturday, February 6, 2010

Why I hate Walmart

As I'm sitting here, literally stormed in my house with well over a foot and a half of snow, and in most places a drifted 2+ feet....I finally have time to write about my WalMart experience from Thursday.

I feel that I share the same frustration with WalMart as so many of you do, so I know I'll be in good company. However, if you're a Wally's World lover [I'll pray for you], you may want to walk away from the computer now, or, just hold your tomatoes please.


Obviously a big snow storm was heading our way, and with the lovely hype of the news...naturally people were freaked-to-no-end at the thought of being stuck inside their home without bread and milk. I get it, I do. But, milk and bread? Really? I'm more of a caffeine free coke and cheez-it's fan, myself, but each his own.

Honestly? I wouldn't have hit up the dreaded WalMart at ALL if it weren't for the fact that Declan and I only food shop every 2 weeks right now, and we were on the tail end of week 2....which means....not many options for a pregnant girl like myself. We need options, people. It's a must. No, an extreme, absolute necessity.

Let me also interject and say that when Declan and I food shop we go out of our way to get to a TRUE grocery store, purposely to avoid WalMart. We loathe it that much. However, WalMart is the "convenient" option. Although...not so much.

So, I thought to myself..."hmm...after school, I'll run in and out super quick...getting junk food the absolute necessities that every expectant momma-to-be needs when stuck inside." CaffeinefreecokeHardPretzelsCheezItsNavelOrangesCapnCrunchFrostedMini
WheatsMilkforCerealTake5'sBaconIceCream(for Declan not for me, I swear! I don't even
like it!)TurkeyPicklesKaiserRollsChipsDipGreenPeppersCarrotsandCucumbers. [Yes, my tactic was mooshing them all together so you wouldn't realize how much of it was junk. But, we're friends. I can be honest.] To sum it all up...I looked like a teenager who needed her munchie-fix after smoking waytoomuchmarijuana. Get it? K.

The process of actually getting the food wasn't so bad, I mean, I had to run over a few kids-crash into a few carts-and do way too many ninja moves to get to the bread, but...thats a typical WalMart-run for ya. [kidding. I love kids.]

After a few minutes of grabbing whatever I wanted, correction: needed, off I went to find a line to pay and get theheckouttathere. And Good LORD in heaven...the lines were insane. Absolutely, positively INSANE.

I picked a line about 5-7 carts deep, but each cart seemed to only have about 25-30 items in them. I thought I'd done a good line-picking-job. I typically try to avoid lines that have carts so full of food it looks like they're shopping for the entire Duggar family.

A little history: I always. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. pick the WRONG line.

Now, this entire "experience" happened after a reeeeally long day of school, where literally I had a pounding headache that wouldnotquit, hadn't had a good lunch simply because I ran out of time to eat, so my stomach was growling, wore the worst shoes that day and literally have feet that are howling in pain, and had just smacked my leg into someones bumper of their car leaving me hobbling around with huge welt on my knee. Great day, eh?

I'm hunched over my cart, leaning on it...trying to get the pressure off my feet a bit, while playing on my iPhone. Thank God, those little technical-pieces-of-heaven are amazing and handy in times like these. But, then...then I see it.

The customer who is at the front of the line checking out just RAN past me all the way to the back of the store. You've got to be kidding. Her husband was still up there, twiddling his thumbs waiting on dear wifey to 'grab something they forgot!'. Are you serious?? Are you THAT rude to make all the other customers wait for one measily tiny container of PEANUT BUTTER?

She came whizzing past, oh....3 minutes later with a little jar of jiffy in her hand. It took a little will power not to point my foot out and trip her on the way in. But, I had a feeling that would hold the line up even more. I digress.

Finally, they leave. The carts inch up. Another customer gets successfully checked out. I've now inched up enough that I'm "in" the actual checkout line and not hanging out in the big aisle without a home.

By this point, I'm so exhausted, I found myself leaning up against the soda refrigerator just to hold my huge-self up. I may or may not have let out a few HUGE sighs along the way.

There was a woman, appeared about 50'ish years old two carts in front of me at the checkout spot now. She seemed in no rush at all. So much in fact that she had her arm resting on the little check counter with her face in her hands. She had some kind of booklet with her that showed very specific foods to buy that the clerk had to scan to match with every friggin item in her cart. NO joke. The real problem started when we came to a bottle of apple juice. Wouldn't ya know the darn thing didn't ring up correctly. This was such a "huge deal" that even the managers had to come up to assist. The customer ran back to the food aisles not only once, but twice. TWICE!! [Am I the only person who would have said the heck with the juice...let's move on??]

She may have muttered a slight, "Oh geez, I'm sorry guys..." to the now 30 cart-deep line. I may or may not have ROLLED my eyes at her, because, CLEARLY she did not care about anyone else behind her nor was she really sorry.

It's kind of sad, because at times like these my hormones go raging and I feel like shouting, "I'm PREGNANTTTTTTT and TIRED, HURRY THE HECK UP!" [if I did indeed say it, the words may have not been so clean.]

But, I kept it in. I swear.

Finally, after 30-40 minutes of being in line...I made my way up the checkout counter and the clerk said, "I'm closed now, hun."

I slugged her then got arrested.

KIDDING. Totally kidding.

But that would have made a great story.

"Local pregnant teacher slugs WalMart sitting behind bars."

No, for real....I ended up getting up the counter, putting my items up quickly (with slight moaning and groaning), and checking out in under 2 minutes. Honestly. I'm an easy customer, and would never dream of holding up a line of angry people for one measily thing.

The clerk mentioned about 10 times within the 2 minutes I was up there that she was "Leaving and shutting her light off in 15 minutes!" She seemed disgruntled herself, but then again, so was I.

I finally left after waytoolong for not enough items, exhausted and slightly pissed off...remembering why I ALWAYS, I repeat...always make Declan go food shopping with me.

So quite possibly this post should not be entitled "Why I hate WalMart", persay--but possibly the customers, too. Although-I was a customer that day. But now that I think about it...I kind of hated myself for being dumb enough to shop there....3 days before a snow storm, and 4 days before the SuperBowl.

I learned my lesson. On the bright side, however, [you know I love my bright-side's] I'm home, bundled up and cozy with lots of snow outside, and a fridge stocked with too many munchies to handle in one weekend.


  1. I am right there with you. I avoid Walmart at all costs, because it never seems to be an easy process. I can't even imagine going there before a snowstorm.

  2. Great story! I don't care for them much either especially in our area where they just randomly stop stocking a particular item. Right now its the hot dogs that my husband loves. That's what stinks about living in a small area, where you don't have as many choices. Oh and we also have to fight the college kids too! Luckily the one in the next town over is usually better, but we don't get over there as much in the winter!

  3. I totally agree!! I ahte Wal-mRt too!! It drives me nuts when people get out of line to go get seomthing, penaut butter really??? and the juice i would have been like oh well i'll get it next time!

    Thats crazy... well as least you got out of that crazy place with all your munchies!!

    Have fun snowed in!!

  4. That sounds I also HATE Wal-Mart. It stresses me out just walking in there- I always seem to have the same sort of checkout experience.

    The grocery stores were ridiculous here too. On the am news yesterday, the reporter interviewed a crazy lady who got up at 3 AM to go GROCERY SHOPPING. Seriously. All of the shelves were EMPTY. It was the stuff that nightmares are made of.

  5. I'm with ya Katie! I am not a Walmart fan you notice that most of the hoodlums hang out there?? I'm a Target's neater, cleaner, and for the most part the rudies don't shop there..although yesterday I almost got sideswiped by a girl with her cart, I was all the way up against the right side of the aisle and she didn't feel like even saying excuse me!! Geez!

  6. THANK YOU for this hilarious post! And, THANK YOU for loving cheez-its and diet soda. I am so worried that my husband is going to force me to eat only "healthy" food when I am pregnant... It's enough to hold me back from pregnancy for a while! :)

    Have a great snow day!

  7. now that was an entertaining story. now all you have to do is write about 50 more an i'll be entertained all weekend while snowed in. :)

  8. I ALWAYS pick the wrong lines too! When the mister and I go grocery shopping I'm like "I would pick that line, so obviously we're not going there, what do you think babe?"

    Ugh. Hate hate hate LOATHE Wal-Mart.

  9. I love Wal Mart for it's convenience and variety buuuut I'm right there with you. Wal Mart customers are not the most polite and their customre service SUCKS! I bought my BF a Wii for Christmas only to open it Christmas day and find the Wii Sports game MISSING! Then they treated me like I was some sort of game stealing criminal!!

    At least you have everything you and baby need and are hopefully relaxing, munching away :o)

  10. I ALWAYS pick the wrong line too and get behind the (old) lady who is not in a rush to go anywhere when I clearly was ready to go 20 minutes prior to reaching the front of the line. It would have been funny and I don't think I would have blamed you if you hit her :)

  11. I hate that place! My boyfriend and I travel twice as far to go to a "real" grocery store as well. He also insists on going with me, and I am so grateful!

  12. oh my gosh, too funny. I'm sorry you had to go through that, at least you sucked it up, I would have actually slugged the girl! lol! I can't stand Walmart, thats why I haven't been there in over a year. I prefer Target especially because there are always people walking around the store asking if you need help finding anything. Maybe that would have helped the PB girl remember:o)

  13. What a great post to read before I was planning on head to Wal-Mart. Thanks for the heads up!

  14. Oh boy, I completely understand. I hate Wal-mart shoppers. I was there grocery shopping on Friday, yes a Friday, and I actually didn't have a horrible time. I got stuck behind a woman who had to check EVERY SINGLE nutrition facts and wasn't budging so I could get around. Crazy. There is always a crazy story to go along with Wal-Mart.!

  15. I hate Walmart as well, but sounds to me like maybe the lady in her 50's might have been purchasing something off WIC?? Maybe she has grandkids or something of the nature in which she requires assistance and WIC is pretty particular!

    30-40 minutes in line is quite a large amount too!! :)

  16. I do shop at Walmart, but no worries, no tomatoes from me. We only go there because their prices are sometimes better than the local grocery store. However, I do have to say that I too get mad at those people. Apparently the hubs and I always pick the time to go grocery shopping when we think no one else will be there, but then there are no cashiers, so the lines are so long that you might as well have gone shopping at like 3pm. I digress. I too get mad when people leave the check out line when we are ten deep for 1 item. I am like are you flippin kidding me. The hubs and are are always like is it LIFE threatening if you don't have it?!?! But, we still go. And we still kick ourselves in the rear when we go and there are so many people and not a lot of cashiers. And we still laugh because we always tell ourselves we won't ever go again.

  17. Wal-Mart is evil. The one by our house used to be the worst one in the county. Then, they made it into a Super Wal-Mart and I realized that no one had better prices on food, not to mention all the other stuff. That being said, I've had days when I drove around the parking lot (which is the worst-designed lot EVER) and got so mad at people before I even exited my car that I drove across the street to Target.

  18. They NEVER have enough check out people! The u-scan option is also annoying because it's soooo slow!

  19. I totally agree with you! I hate going to WalMart! That is the last place I ever want to be! It always seems crowded and disorganized.

    Your experience was horrible! Oh my gosh. Some people really are clueless!! But, I'm glad you made it out with your goodies!

  20. MMMmm cheez its, capn crunch, oranges, chocolate.......Must go to the store IMMEDIATELY!! It's funny how cravings can suddenly appear when someone else talks about the food you want :) PS-Sorry your wally world trip was horrible. We only go there if Target doesn't have what we need.

  21. WalMart checkout lines are THE WORST!!! Jon and I used to shop at Mejier (which is just like a WalMart but a *little* more expensive) simply because we hated the lines at WalMart so much!! I always make Jon come grocery shopping with me, too!! It makes it more tolerable! :)

  22. O gosh!! I am right there with you! I loath Walmart and everything that is the dreaded Walmart! However; from time to time, you will see me among the crazies that shop there... Unfortunately! Hope you're enjoying your food and relaxing!

  23. oh I loathe Wal Mart someday I'll tell you my story of the crazy girl who threatened to kill me because the car behind me honked at her..... I wish I was kidding LOL glad you survived and are home hope the weather isn't too crazy :)

  24. Your are hilarious!! Just wait till you have to bring the baby there and the dirty people in line want to touch the baby!! I hate Walmart too but it is just so darn convenient and affordable!!

  25. HAHA...that is too funny! I am totally with you girl...I hate Walmart! You can never just get in and out of that place! Glad you got all of your "necessities" and are cozy at home!

  26. Oh girl, good for you for holding it in. I don't know that I could have. I'n sure you would have loved to say "Forgot the damn juice lady! Let's move on!"

    Maybe they should make a rule that there is no leaving the line if you forgot an item if you're already done checking out.

  27. 40 minutes in line!! I would have freaked out and I'm not even pregnant!!!

  28. Sister, even as I hear the story again, I get bad. Gosh, I hate that place!

  29. ugh..what a nightmare. Kudos to you for keeping it together.

    PS Did you get bacon ice cream, or bacon & ice cream?

  30. Ohmygosh! I friggin hate crowds, lines, and general chaos. I'm glad you got out of there unscathed and hopefully you wont need to go back for a LONG time!

  31. And this is reason # 9797979874390223457329457 why I despise Wal-Mart! Ha! :)

  32. mwahaha great story. i never even had been to a walmart before i went to school in NC. we dont have them in seattle. thank goodness. i'm not a fan.

  33. See, this is why I shop at Publix. No line is EVER that long and the clerks are actually NICE! LOL

    PS I always, always ALWAYS pick the wrong line when I'm in WM too.