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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Oh, the "H" word. The dreaded "H" word.

Hormones.

We all hear about those 'raging' hormone changes that happen during pregnancy. The truth is, although I joke about being hormonal and such, I've really not experienced many issues or crying spats because of the hormones.

I mean, there was that one time that I cried on the closet floor because I hated all my maternity work pants. Yea, and maybe that one time when I laid on the kitchen floor and screamed and cried at Declan for absolutely NO reason that I can remember currently. But other then the occasional breakdown, I've not just been a crying mess this whole pregnancy. Honestly.

But yesterday, on my birthday-it was a different story.

Let me explain.

First of all, when we were shopping at the outlet's...I just felt SO slow. I just don't walk nearly as fast as I used too. I could easily chase my nieces around, no problem. Today was a different story. I felt useless, tired, and HOT. It was 80 degrees and sunny (beautiful, truly), but I realized why I'm so thankful not to be very pregnant through the brutal heat of the summer. Not to mention, I was in a tank top. Pregnant arms=not cute (not on me, anyway), and I felt so very 'ugh'.

With every step I took, more and more pressure was put on my bladder, making the urge to pee pretty much constant. I literally went to the bathroom 4 or 5 times just while shopping. It felt like I went every 2.5 seconds. Frustrating AND annoying.

All of these little things started to wear on me. I was annoyed and easily irritated and normally my tolerance for just about everything is so.much.higher.

I got into the car with my sister (on our way to get pedicures) and just started to sob. I cried, and I cried. I couldn't really tell her why I was crying...and I felt bad for crying at all. After all, I was having a GOOD day. Whatthefreak was wrong with me? I just felt moody. Tired. Overwhelmed. I felt...I felt...hormonal. As if I had no real control over my emotions.

I held back my tears and allowed myself to enjoy the rest of the day. After all, I had no real 'reason' be upset over anything.

I got home exhausted, and all I wanted was a nap. A quick, one hour nap or rest before Declan got home from work and our evening plans commenced. Little did I know, he decided to come home early and surprise me. Little did he KNOW that surprises don't go over quite as well when your wife is crazy-tired, 9 months pregnant, and....hormonal [yea, I said it again].

He had every right in the world to come home and spend the evening out with me, heck, even if it was an hour earlier then I thought. But, in my state of exhaustion, I was cruel. I was mean. I wasn't grateful. He told me to get changed into something nice, and that we had to leave, like.soon. I freaked out. I whined. I moaned about how "sweaty" and "hot" I was. I told him I just wanted a nap. I needed 10 minutes to re-do my makeup. Then I shrieked at him to "go start the car and at least get the AC running, gosh darn-it!"

I was nasty.

I wasn't me. Well, my normal 'me'.

When I finally got in the car, he told me how beautiful I looked and how excited he was to spend the evening out with me taking me on a birthday date.

I broke down, again, crying, on the way to dinner. My mascara ran. I searched for a tissue in the car and wiped my eyes. I tried to explain to him that "I just don't feel like myself!", and "I over-did it today!", and "I couldn't try on any of the clothes I wanted too!", and "I can't walk as fast, and I peed 293083 times today!", and "Ohmygosh I'm not even sure why I am crying and ruining this night!"

I dried my tears, and calmed myself down. What the heck was going on with me anyway? I can seriously only explain it as hormones, because obviously this behavior isn't normal (for me at least). I think that as I'm creeping closer and closer to D-Day, my body is very obviously sensing big changes are about to occur. Thus, an overflow of emotions.

I guess, I can be thankful that I haven't been crazy-hormonal this entire time and that it's just hitting now when we have a month left.

But, someone better say a prayer for my husband. He has to live with me everyday.

~*~

happy tuesday!

24 comments:

  1. It's ok. I'm sure a lot of us don't know what it's like to be a "crazy hormonal 9 month pregnant women", so I say heck, you can do what you want. You have a human growing inside of you! Thinking of you and hoping you have a better day today! Also, I'll say a little prayer for Declan :-)

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  2. You make me laugh because you totally remind me of myself. When I was pregnant I remember I was putting on my makeup and Dave (my husband) and I were arguing about something, and I got mad, snapped my eyeliner in half and ran out of the room crying...haha. Give yourself credit, it's hard being pregnant and not moody, esp. at this stage. You're tired of being pregnant even though you're excited!! I say chillax!! ;)

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  3. I have had my hormonal outbursts from time to time during this pregnancy but overall, I haven't been terrible. Well, I say that. I don't know if B would agree. This post, however, had me all choked up. I had a hormonal day yesterday too. For once, it wasn't that I felt fat, but that I couldn't remember or do anything right. So I totally feel your pain, sister. And thanks for sharing the screaming thing. It's nice to know I am not the only one who has yelled at a sweet, sweet husband. ;)

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  4. I still remember clearly laying on the cold white tile floor of my bathroom. I sobbed. For over an hour. BD tried to comfort me, but I promptly slammed the door in his face.

    After I was happy as a clam. I felt so bad for being mean to him. I promise it'll pass honey. It'll be worth it, and your hubs seems so loving and kind that i'm sure he understands!

    You'll be back to normal soon! I promise! :)

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  5. Hormones are such a crazy, crazy thing. It sounds like hubby is very patient and understanding though, which is good. Maybe yesterday you got it all out of your system and you'll be back to normal now for the rest of the pregnancy.

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  6. Awww, at least you have a good husband that will put up with your "tendencies" (better than saying hormonal?). And HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a day late)!!!

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  7. aw hun... you poor thing! I have days like that and I'm not even pregnant!! Haha
    I hope you enjoyed your day overall though!

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  8. He sounds like such a patient man... Amazing. He knows (we all know) that hormonal you isn't the real you. Your baby girl is just letting you know she is getting ready to be known and you guys better get ready too! :)

    Hang in there love
    xx

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  9. even though we are several years from trying for kids...my husband is TERRFIED of hormonal hayley. it's not gonna be pretty.

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  10. Oh girl, I feel your pain! I had a bout of the hormones this morning, though luckily I recovered before any real damange was done. I've been lucky, like you, and haven't had to deal with it too much, but there was one wonderful day where I sat in our hallway and sobbed for at least a good half hour over something stupid.

    I also rode around in my car all day Saturday, which was the hotest day we've had this year. Oh, and my AC is broken. Hot, sweaty, unhappy pregnant girl.

    Good thing that these feelings and craziness won't last!

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  11. Haha...I'm sorry, but I laughed though this post because it sounded exactly like me! I've defintely had my share of the crazy pregnancy hormones...I imagine as August creeps closer it will only get worse!

    Happy Belated Birthday!

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  12. Aaw rough day!!! Well it seems like your Husband is a good husband!! He'll put up with you :D Every man knows (or should know) that woman get a little, hormonal...lol during pregnancy.

    Hang in there! Praying for both of you!!!

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  13. Oh Katie, I've been there laying on the kitchen floor yelling at Jorden too! I'm sorry! It's awful because you sit there going "what the heck is going on?" but yet you can't stop!

    I hope your birthday was fantastic in spite of the hormones showing up!!

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  14. Oh how I remember those crying days. It will all be over soon. Although don't be surprised if you cry a few times the first couple weeks with baby, it takes awhile for all those hormones to adjust again.

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  15. Oh, girlie, I SO understand. The part that kills me the last few weeks of every pregnancy is that feeling of being so stinking SLOW. I hate being slow.

    It will pass. Promise. A week after your little one comes the memory of this will fade a bit, and by the time she's a month you'll be all "what hormones?".

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  16. Awwwwww. I'm sorry sweetie!! That's certainly no fun. But it does sound like your husband is awesome and understanding about the "h word". :)

    I have to say - I'm new to your blog and I love it. I love the way you write.

    I hope today is a better day!

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  17. Awww sweetie, that sucks! I'm sure it was just a bad day and you won't have an entire month full of bad days. Just keep concentrating on that lil babe of yours and how you get to see her soon!

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  18. You your hubby and the little one are always in my prayers. I hope for a healthy end to your pregnancy. Just be happy you have an excuse to be hormonal.! (:

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  19. I totally understand! I worked up through my 38th week, and from about 36 weeks on, I would cry every night- I was just so TIRED!

    Unfortunately I haven't stopped being over emotional, and I was NOT a crier pre pregnancy.

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  20. Oh honey I've been there not that long ago and let me warn you it was 100x worse AFTER the baby. I cried over lunch, cried when the baby cried, and cried when I didn't lose ANY weight after giving birth. It's been a year now and I'm pretty much back to my old self! It was rough, but totally worth it when I see my little Miss M grin at me from across the room! It's hard to see the light when your 9 months preggo or have a screaming infant, but it's there I promise v:)

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  21. awww, bless your heart! It will all be worth it in the end. You are doing an amazing thing for your little baby.

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  22. I cried for NO REASON YESTERDAY!

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  23. First of all, Happy Birthday! I've been so out of loop with facebook and blogging...girl I hope it was the best!

    We all need a good cry every once in a while!

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  24. Want until after the bambino comes and your sleep deprived...of course the hubs will be sleep deprived too so he'll act just as nuts! ah ha ha

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