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Monday, May 24, 2010

Emeline's Birth Story: The Finale.

Need to catch up? Read Part 1, and Part 2 first.

~*~
Please note: This is the birth story of my daughter--raw, and true. I'm a detail-giver (although you'll be happy to know I did leave out some of the not-so-pleasant details). Please remember that everyone has completely different labor and delivery stories. This just happens to be ours. Oh, and I'm going to show you a few more 'intimate' shots (taken by my SIL, Lyryn), they're so special to me, and I'm so glad I have them.

~*~

I was officially 'admitted' to the hospital. I trusted my gut forced myself to go and I.got.to.stay!

The baby was coming!

But holy cow....WHEN!?

I figured at this point I wouldn't make the mothers day cut-off. I didn't care anymore. I just couldn't believe that I was going to meet this little joy that will make us a little family.

I sent the necessary texts to a few family members that just said, "Admitted". They were thrilled! I had missed all the birthday/mothers day meal gatherings that day for my own Mommy, which, had me a little bummed. But, my mom didn't care one bit. She was just thrilled that her 3rd little granddaughter was going to make her debut somewhere in the near future.

[My mom, my sister Susan, and Declan's sister, Lyryn were all invited to be part of the whole delivery, by the way (in fact, I wouldn't have minded a whole 'nother slew of people, honestly...)--I just didn't want anyone coming too early, you know, during all the boring parts.]

The nurse-shifts had changed, and my new nurse who was assigned to me from 7pm-7am was named Lauren. She was young, and so so sweet. She was gorgeous, too. I remember asking her when she thought I'd have this baby---and her reply was, "My guess would be in the morning---first time moms often take a while to progress." I remember feeling slightly bummed and saying something like, "Well, I hope it's before you go off your shift." (Because how not cool to switch nurses a billion times....), and she said--"Yea, I'm hoping so, too."

By this point I was having some seriously intense pain...so the nurse offered me something to drip in my IV (that I had to have pre-epidural anyway) if I wanted it.

I really, truly thought about it--and said...."No...I think I'll walk again." I have no idea why I chose to walk--they were absolutely GRUELING at this point--but I knew it would help me progress and not slow things down, which the meds could potentially do.

Off we went for another walk. This time, I only made it half hour before I needed to sit down again. I can't lie--that walk was torrrrture. But, having Declan by my side made me love him even more (if that's even possible)--because he was so strong for me.

At this point, I used the bathroom and emptied it all out. [Holy cow--going to the bathroom while having contractions like WHOA=not cool....not at all.] Like every pregnant woman, I had that fear of pooping on the delivery bed--so I wanted to limit my chances.

I got hooked back up onto the monitors--and I noticed my husband getting his very-hungry-might-pass-out look. I needed him badddd. But, I needed him more in a few hours. So, I told him to go-go-go, and get some food in his system because he would need the energy to help me through having this baby. At this point, it was almost 9pm.

During this time, I was getting the bag of fluids in me so I could get my heavenly epidural. I've always had this in the plans, because I'm NOT fun when I'm in the pain...heck, I'm freaking rude when I feel like crap--and I'm irritable as all get-out. So, I knew going the epi-route was the way for me.

Contractions still coming...but oh so much faster...and more painful. I had to bare them myself, and try to work through them without Declan there to help. I sort of went within myself to deal with the pain. I made no noise at all. I knew that each contraction brought me closer to meeting my daughter.

Truth be told: I couldn't wait to have that needle put in my back and get some sense of relief.

The nurse came in and told me that the doctors had changed shifts--and as soon as my doctor got here, the anesthesiologist could administer my epidural. By this point, Declan had returned and looked fully satisfied. Although my rumbling belly was jealous, I was happy he now had some energy, and you know, not pass out.

At 10pm that amazing man of an-anesthesiologist came walking through the door. He rambled on for a few minutes and I pretended to listen. I signed a bunch of papers and I just kept thinking, "Let's do this, already!"

The whole process of it was absolutely no.big.deal.---and within 5 minutes or so....I could literally feel my body going into relaxation. The contraction pains were getting more intense, but I couldn't feel them....oh hallelujah, after all those hours of pain---this was heaven. The doctor broke my water at this point, too--to help speed things up, because often an epidural can slow down the natural labor process. They also decided to put a little pitocin in my IV to off-set things slowing down. They gave it to me at the smallest dose (and never ended up having to up the drip).

My mom and sister came at this point. It was so nice to have some fresh faces, and catch them up on all that's been happening. I think I even remembered to tell my Mom "Happy Birthday" and that I was sorry I missed all the get-togethers today. She chuckled at me for being so silly.

My doctor and nurse both told me to get some rest...and they dimmed the lights. My body was in such a state of relaxation--I thought it would be easy to sleep. Notsomuch. The anticipation was killer. I just wanted to stay up and talk. It was like a little slumber-party in there, anyway. Finally, though--I drifted off into semi-dreamland and got a little sleep.

I woke up around midnight and I told my mom that I felt like I had this urge to poop (TMI, no?)--but that I KNEW I didn't need to poop. She said all giddy, "Oooo! Thats a great sign! Tell Lauren when she comes back in!"

A few minutes later when she came back in, I told her--and she said, "Well, let me check you and see, then."

She poked around and then goes, "Oh! Awesome...! You're 100% thinned and 6cm dilated. That's great progression."

The room started awakening a little bit--

"Why don't I get you a popsicle so that you have a little sugar in you to give you some energy when it comes time to push in a few hours.....okay? What color to do you prefer?"

I asked for red. I'd had orange earlier and it was Nasty with a capital N.

She'd left the room for maybe 20mins-half hour....and while she was gone something crazzzzy started going on. I felt this INTENSE urge to push....but I knew...I just knew it was bad to push when you're not fully dilated. But why the heck was I feeling this?!

By the time Lauren came back in with my red popsicle, I had both hands on the bed railings and was practically crawling up the back of the bed to resist the urge to push. It was the craziest, most uncomfortable feeling ever.

She seemed confused. "Well...I hate to check you after only this short time...we don't like to do it that often for risk of infection---but....I think I'm going too...."

(This time, now 2am)
"Okay---you're a 10 and ready to push!"

The red popsicle got thrown in the trash.

Holy crap. This was it. I knew it. I'd had some super-speedy progression and I wasn't complaining.

Before I knew it, the bed was reassembled for delivery, my nurse was directly in front of me, I had my legs up in supports (I'm SO glad I used them vs people holding--will explain), and Declan was by my head counting to 10 while I took a deep breath, then held it---pushing with everything.in.me. The urge to push was so strong, it was the craziest, most intense URGE I've ever felt. It was painful, too. I remember thinking, "Wait...I had an epidural....I don't think I'm supposed to feel all this..." and, "if women get epi's all the time and say they didn't feel a thing--why the heck am I in such agony?!", but because of being so intent on the goal, I shut my mouth and kept pushing.

[Because of how fast everything had progressed, Lyryn made it in the knick-of-time, and walked in while I was pushing, camera in hand--ready to document this for me.]

After about 20 minutes of pushing, my doctor came in. My mom excitedly said, "This is all going so much faster then expected!" (afterall--they didn't expect this baby to come until breakfast!) My doctor (who are buzz-kills, lemme tell you) says, "Well, it's not over yet." [Afterall--haven't you heard that "first time moms can push up to 3 hours". Sigh.]

Once she got down there and started really seeing the progression I'd made with my first 20 minutes of pushing, I see her entire demeanor change into rush-mode. She starts to gear up, I see the delivery cart wheel in out of the corner of my eye, and things are starting to buzz around the room. Meanwhile, I'm still pushing...with Declan holding my head, counting along for me.

It turns out that during all the pushing, it had made Emeline's heartrate drop a bit--so my Doctor told me to hold out and push every-OTHER contraction. Everything in my body told me that was physically IMPOSSIBLE. How do you resist the most intense urge you've ever felt?! (Well, since they assumed my epidural was alive and kicking--they didn't realize it was such a problem because many women can't feel anything at all!) But, since I was feeling literally feeling e v e r y t h i n g, and they wouldn't let me push, I was grateful for the stirrups, because I kicked my legs around like a freak and panted like a dog. There are no words to describe how crazzzy it felt. They were trying to pump a little oxygen into me (for the baby's sake) at this point, too---and it only ticked me off more. In fact, I flung it off my face multiple times (almost hitting poor Lauren) because who wants that god-awful thing around your face when you're trying to focus on getting your baby out?

Push....push....puuuush.....

"Give another push like that, Katie....She's almost here...."

Declan leans down by my face and says, "Babe! She has hair!"

It clicked.

He could see her hair?? She's almost here!"

I hear the doctor say, "Katie, if we don't get her out in the next few pushes--I need to use the vacuum to give you a little help because her heartrate isn't looking so great."

I decided to try for a few more pushes, and I pushed like no other using every muscle in my body because who wants to use a little vacuum to suck your kid out?!

Well--during those intense pushes, I literally FELT in detail myself tearing down there....and it was the most cringe-worthy, grueling, disgusting and painful thing I've ever felt.

AND so quickly the girl (ahem, me) who just thought, "Who the heck wants to use a vacuum on their kid?" yells to the doctor, "Just suck her out already!!"

Within seconds she was here.

This photo says 1,000 words.

40 total minutes of pushing, and at 2:40am...our beautiful little girl came into the world and made us parents.

~*~

I know this was not glamorous in any way.shape.or.form. I'm a teeny bit sorry for my brutal honesty about the pain (because I don't want to scare anyone...). The truth is, (after talking to my l&d nurse friend who came on shift later that night), what I felt was NOT normal. Since I wasn't vocal enough about my pain, they didn't realize how low my epidural was running, which ultimately--left me feeling virtually everything. Little did I know that had I said something, with a click of the button I could have had more meds pumping through me to ease the pain. See? Things you don't know when you're a first-timer. I'll tell you this---even after all that, it was so very worth it---and within a day or two I was already talking about how excited I was to do this all again. I'm crazy...no?


44 comments:

  1. I'm really glad you decided to share your birth story with us (graphic details and all). It's an amazing thing. Your daughter is beautiful.

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  2. You brave woman you! I would have been screaming for more drugs! haha Pain and I do not mix well.... On that note, you brought tears to my eyes and I cannot wait to have a little one of my own! :-)

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  3. omg, this is a mommy moment, i have tears streaming down my face right now! i need to get my hormones in check! thanks for sharing your story, you were amazing!! and how the heck did you get that amazing picture?! beautiful!

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  4. This is so interesting Katie--my experience with the epidural was exactly the same--it felt great for that first hour, but when it came time to push, I kept wondering if I had a really low pain tolerance because it hurt A LOT. I did ask to turn up the epi, but they said they don't do that while you're pushing....

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  5. Oh.my.God. That picture is absolutely amazing!! Thank you for sharing your story, Katie. <3

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  6. Awww, I’m kind of sad to see the story end…. Eventually there will be an encore. So I’ll be patient!!! :)

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  7. I appreciate your brutal honesty. I haven't had any children yet, and I really, really appreciate hearing it "how it really is". And I hope you are having a beautiful Monday! XOXO

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  8. your story is amazing, every baby story is amazing, that picture is priceless and not to sound gross but I would love to see more of her first seconds in this world. I can not wait to be by my friends side capturing moments like that! Thank you for sharing!

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  9. Yay I got to read it all before its my turn! Thank you for writing with honesty : )

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  10. Thanks for scaring the crap outta me.........just kidding actually I like it straight. Thanks for sharing this story with all of us. I know everyone is different, but since I be will going through this in 5 months it is good to hear what I can maybe expect. Have a great week with Emeline!

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  11. Beautiful!!! SO glad you shared your story with us!!

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  12. Oh dear, did they not give you a little yellow button to push if you ever want a little "boost" of the epi? I was clicking mine like no tomorrow right before I started pushing LOL

    And isn't that urge to push crazy strong?! Even though I was numb and couldn't feel a thing, I still felt that pressure and all I wanted to do was push through it.

    And your birth story is just beautiful. So similar to mine yet put into such better words.

    Emeline is so adorable and your picture really does say 1,000 words. LOVE IT! :)

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  13. I'm really thankful for you sharing your story and all the details. She is beautiful and you are very blessed!

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  14. that is the.best photo. and so glad you documented it. because down the road im sure you'll want to remember the first baby birthing story but cant recall the details.

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  15. Bawling! Partially because your birth story is so eerily similar to mine with L!! I love it! And that photo at the end...OMG...award winning. Seriously. Award winning. You need to enter that in a contest or something.

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  16. amazing! don't apologize for being honest...I think too many women don't share their "real" experiences and that's how people get really scared (not having had children, I'm just speaking from seeing what my friends have gone through).

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  17. Thanks so much for your honesty! It's nice to hear how it really is lol. Congrats!

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  18. Wow, what an amazing story!! Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us, and for being so honest. I know I definitely appreciated it! :) Congratulations again!

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  19. Omg! Love that picture. And thank you for sharing your story. It had me in tears!

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  20. AH! I just caught up on all your baby stories! I'm glad I could make it in the knick of time too and capture this beautiful moment for you. Thanks for letting me be there!! :

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  21. thanks for sharing your stories and for your honesty. You only hear of all the roses from pregnancy and delivery but never the thorns. :)

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  22. Those are great pictures! I do have to ask though, how was getting the epidural? I'm pretty sure that's the part of childbirth that scares me the most! Long needles + my spinal cord? Gives me a hot flash, just to think about!

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  23. I love how honest and real you are. I couldn't wait to read the rest of the story. So so sweet. :)

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  24. Loved reading every word....love a good baby story....

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  25. What a beautiful story! I'm so proud of you for pushing through that pain for your little girl! You're so strong! And that pic when she's just out, and Declan is looking so lovely and proudly at you, just brings me to tears.

    What a beautiful story! Worthy of such a beautiful new family!

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  26. At this point, I'm not sure when I started following you, but I have thoroughly enjoyed every bit of the journey through your pregnancy. You are the kind of wife and mother I hope to be. Congrats. Enjoy that precious bundle of love.

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  27. I love reading your "stories"! I've been waiting for the finale for forever! So suspensful :) You didn't have to share, but I'm glad you did!

    Congrats again!

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  28. Thanks for sharing Emeline's birth story with us!

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  29. I love that you shared the details with us. A birth story isn't a birth story without the details.! I love the pictures. They capture such life and beauty. I am so happy for you Katie. Your daughter is truly blessed.!

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  30. Thanks for sharing! You made it sound not as bad as I fear! Thanks for the advice about speaking up if you are feeling things when you shouldn't!

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  31. Such a beautiful story, thank you for sharing!

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  32. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Thanks for posting this! As a "first-timer" myself...I love reading about everyone's experiences. Yours didn't seem bad at all! You didn't scare me like some of the crazies on babycenter.com do. ;)

    I'm so glad you have your little girl at home with you and things are so well! :)

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  33. I guess it's good to know that you could have almost done the thing totally naturally, huh? I figured your epi wasn't totally working! Such a great story... thank you for sharing!

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  34. I always feel so thankful when women are willing to share their birthing stories. I feel like when I do have a baby one day I will be able to remember all of the strong women out there who have done this before. Then I will know I can do it!
    Thank you for your openness and sharing your beautiful baby with us!

    LOVE your new header!

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  35. That is very cool you have those pictures! You have so many wonderful pictures of the pregnancy, birth, and of her! I shared your story with a friend that is due June 29th. She said it made her nervous but she was glad I shared it with her. Thanks again for the honesty!!! Keep it up!

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  36. I love the picture with Declan looking at your after Emeline's birth. wow. how lucky that you have such wonderful pics and a wonderful family<3

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  37. I'm so glad you shared (details and all). I think that so many people are afraid to share the real details about childbirth that many women have really unrealistic expectations about what's going to happen. It's good to be prepared for the hard work that it will really be!

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  38. What a beautiful story Katie!!! Thank you so much for sharing. I love your honesty. That picture your sister in law took is awesome!!!!

    And I love love love your new header!!!! :)

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  39. Aw, I'd been waiting to hear the rest of the story!!! I've never had a baby and I'm pretty for sure that your pain has now added to my massive fear of child birth, but she's beautiful and I'm glad she made it into the world!

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  40. I've loved the whole story! Thanks for sharing-it's beautiful!

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  41. awesome story. i wanted to cry! i'm one of those first-time moms that had to push for 3 hours. then they used the vacuum. then they did a csection. he was stubborn! you can read it here: http://joelandcindycutie.blogspot.com/2010/08/kadens-birth.html. But, like you, I was ready to do it again - about a week later, not 2 days! I can honestly remember thinking right after the csection "I don't know if I can do this again". But that changed. Now I can't wait :)

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  42. I had the exact same experience with my epi and was stunned by the pain (during over an hour of pushing - ugh). Oh well, our little girls were so worth it!!

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  43. I love all the details. I think it's so great that you are documenting all of this.

    I had a lot of the same issues after my epidural too! It was very painful, but worth every second of it.

    Gorgeous pictures!

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