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Friday, June 18, 2010

Sleeping and Newborns

I'm keeping this really brief today, because, well...it's Friday.

But, can I just tell you the one question since having a baby that I get ALL the time, and that seriously annoys.the.crap.out of me?

Yes? No?

Well, I'm telling you anyway.

"Is she sleeping through the night yet?"

I literally hear that maybe 2-3 times a DAY...from!random!people!

WHY!?

Seriously. Why.

Do me a favor, and rephrase the question as to not make me feel like a failure that my 5 1/2 week old isn't "sleeping through the night" yet.

Perhaps..."How has your sleep been?"..."What's her night-schedule like?"....

When you ask me something and I have to say..."Um...no" she's freakin' 5 1/2 weeks old people, give me a break, for heavens sake! it makes me feel like a failure, or like I'm doing something WRONG. Which, I'm not.

I realize, there are some amazingly lucky people who come home with a baby (typically, it seems it's the bigger babies) and they sleep for something crazy like 8-12 hours straight.

I have to remind myself that those are rare cases.

I'm in the majority.

Typically, newborns wake up every few hours. That's normal.

I've even been semi-lucky in the fact that I usually get a good 4-5 hour stretch of sleep, and then another 3-4 hours after a feeding.

Thats.not.bad. [Could be worse, and we've had a few of those looong nights, so I'm aware.]

But seriously.

NO more asking that question.

It's driving me mad.

In fact, the next time I may just flip out.

Because.

It's annoying.

The end.

35 comments:

  1. oh... that's no fun, but I always here that question being asked around new moms! It probably will get annoying for me too in a few months. Oh, and also, I can't get over how cute that baby of yours is!

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  2. That question is annoying Because babies aren't built to sleep 8-12 hrs because their stomachs are so tiny they NEED to wake up to eat! Before R was born I had people telling me that on our first night home I should just let her cry it out because it'd be easier on me. I just can't imagine doing that to a newborn! I hope you are at least able to sleep when she sleeps!

    By the way, I totally agree, you are doing NOTHING wrong!

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  3. Amen sister! I am so tired of that question as well- I just want to jet back with "would you like to cover for a night and find out?"! I appreciate your post- the long nights can be frustrating (i.e- last night for us!) and it was good to be reminded that its normal and its only those few with sleeping-through-the-night babies!

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  4. hehe People do ask that question a lot! You're doing a great job with little Emeline. 4-5 hrs is a good stretch for her age!

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  5. I think sleeping 4-5 hours at a time is rockstar!

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  6. Whhhaaaaaa???? People actually ask you that already???? I was THRILLED with L sleeping through the night at eleven weeks. (It's the one detail I clearly remember from his infancy...ha!) What is up with people?

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  7. From what you post, Emeline is a great sleeper! My doctor said they consider "sleeping through the night" to be 6 hours. So no "failure" there!
    I hated that question as well, and at 7 months I'm still getting it! My sister-in-law used to just answer that question from people like this, "um, she's a newborn..." and leave the rest to them, like, 'what do you think?!'

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  8. ha ha people really ask you that all the time? WOW . . Avin didn't sleep through the night until about 3 months. . . I mean when she was really little and because she was so early she slept like 24 hours a day but still had to wake to be fed . .

    It is ok as she wakes to be fed and she needs to be fed to grow :)

    Do not feel like a failure one bit.

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  9. OMG! My baby girl is only 2 weeks old today - TWO WEEKS and I get that question 2-3 times a day too! It's like the only thing people think of to ask when they see me. I just answer with a "for the most part" and call it a day.

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  10. I had my nephew this past weekend (he's 2 months) and we went to Target. A lady asked me if he was sleeping through the night and I just stared at her. Then said "I have no idea". hahaha She looked at me like I had 3 heads. It was pretty amazing. hahaha

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  11. I don't blame you at all. It IS frustrating when that's what you hear from people. Although, I bet they don't mean for it to be a source of frustration for you.

    I think ALL new moms have that one "thing" that just gets under their skin. For me, it was people (a lot of them) coming to the hospital to visit and staying all day! I wanted to say, "HELLO, I just gave BIRTH...can a sister get a nap around here?"

    My friend had so many people ask if she was nursing her newborn and then they would make her feel bad when she said no. She got tired of it and finally just started answering yes to avoid the backlash.

    3-4 hour stretches is GREAT for Emeline! I think one feeding per night is a good place to be :-)

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  12. It is not normal for a newborn to sleep through the night. Most babies don't sleep through the night until they learn to self sooth between 4-6 months. People who are asking you this must not be that familiar with newborns!

    That being said, you seem incredibly lucky, 4-5 hours followed by 3-4 hours seems like sleeping through the night for a newborn. My son was a great sleeper and by 2 weeks old was sleeping similar stretches. Hubby would feed him around 11pm or midnight before he went to bed (I went to bed around 9pm) and he usually made it until around 5am, that's a full night sleep for me and he just got better and better at sleeping. A lot of 5 week olds still wake every 2-3 hours to feed.

    I know people mean well but come on!

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  13. I know!!! My boys are eight weeks old and aren't sleeping through the night yet am I am so sick of hearing about everyone else's kids who are! We are the majority, good way of putting it, I will keep telling myself that!! :)

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  14. I totally agree. Olivia is almost 4 months and still feeds and wakes to feed every 3 hours. At least she's consistant and I can plan around her. Who care's if she is sleeping through. Again you have inspired me to blog about this and give some folks the hint ;)

    Take Care,
    Lisa

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  15. oh girl i hear ya! and noah is 9lbs and 13 oz at this last doctor's appt. a few weeks ago and he eats every two hours (on formula). It seems like everyone expects babies to sleep through the night so quickly (I am secretly hoping..haha) But so far what I have heard is that is not the case..and I am so jealous that you get 4-5 hours of sleep! Oh if I could get that I would be a new woman...so you are doing great lil momma :D Like your other post why can't we just all support each other!!! Oh and Emeline is GORGEOUS!!! I can't get enough of ur pics..keep um coming :D

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  16. I totally agree! People are crazy obsessed with babies and sleep :)
    Mine didn't sleep through the night until the week before she turned 8 months. sheesh!

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  17. I got asked it so much that I started googling it thinking I was doing something wrong!! We are the same I get about five hours sleep and then feed the princess and get another 3 hours after that

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  18. Ugh, I hate THOSE questions. Like, "Have you set a date?" "When are you going to have babies?" "You're STILL pregnant?" I'm not sure why people ask those - I mean, you know that the majority of women have been engaged/married/pregnant, and I'm sure someone annoyed them with those questions at some time, yet they still don't get it.

    Have a great weekend!!

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  19. Ohh, one of many of those random dumb annoying questions! Lady, you are doing amazing! My 13 month old, still wake 3 times a night..GAHHHH!!

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  20. Don't be bothered by those questions. It's so normal that the baby wakes up every 4 hours or so. Every baby is different and I'd hate those questions,too.
    Btw, you have the sweetest little girl in the world!!! She's so beautiful and you seem to be a good mummy.

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  21. I thought you were doing pretty good with sleep actually! When you said on twitter that you were making it til 4am or so, I figured you were doing good even if it was a 5 or 6 hour stretch! At least you don't have to stress about it since you have quite a bit of time off!

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  22. Seriously, what baby sleeps through the night when they're not even two months??? No baby I've ever seen, big or no! And why do strangers care?? Argh! Mad for you!

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  23. ooh I'm waiting for the post in which you do flip out! You still have pregnancy hormones to blame. Or lack of sleep. Whatever! ;)
    Next it will be how big she is or isn't, the milestones she has or hasn't reached...blah blah blah!

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  24. Thank you! I get it all the time too. If people say their baby slept through the night right away then they are full of crap...

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  25. You sound like you get lots of sleep :). I used to have to wake up every 45 minutes - 2 hours in the beginning with no long stretches at all. You're totally right -- it depends on the baby and what you're doing sounds completely normal.

    Feh. People are so rude though. I feel your pain :(

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  26. I know right?!?!
    I have a almost four week old, and she is still doing the every two hour thing...I am praying she'll give me an extra hour or two very soon. But yes, it's annoying, and we are doing nothing wrong! Keep on keepin on girl, your doing great;)

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  27. Just keep lovin' your baby girl :) Nothing else matters!

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  28. Tell them no and that you're happy about the situation because if she slept through the night your boobs would bust! That was always my follow up comment..just sayin' :)

    You're doing wonderful and she is beautiful!!

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  29. First - you're not a failure. You're an amazing Mom.

    Second - I hate that question too. I think your rephrasing suggestions are so much nicer.

    Third - that's awesome that she sleeps for that long of a time at night now!! I hope that I"m as lucky one day!

    Sorry for the crazy comments. It's late. And now I'm feeling guilty hoping this comment doesn't wake you up. :)

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  30. Poo on anyone who asks you that. It is just ridiculous. There is no reason that it should be expected that a baby so young is sleeping through the night. Getting 3, 4, 5 hour stretches is fabulous. You should keep a dirty diaper on hand at all times so that whenever anyone asks you that you can stuff it in their purse or car or something. That is what I would do.

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  31. my daughter didn't sleep through the night til she was 6 months old.

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  32. I thought of you last night...well, this post.

    We went to a pig roast and seriously every.single.person that I talked to asked "So, how is she sleeping?"

    I had to hold back the laughs so they wouldn't think I was being rude. It really is just conversation to people...I don't think they know what else to say sometimes.

    Luckily though, this time 'round I get to say "She is a great sleeper...12 straight hours". That shuts them up. I didn't get to say that the first time b/c S didn't sleep through the night (12 hours is thru the night for me...I like sleep! ha) until she was 6 months old.

    It has nothing to do with parenting...each child is different and has different sleeping patterns. I'm sure you're doing a great job.

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  33. Oh my gosh! Hubs and I were talking about that today...probably because last night he finally realized just how often he's getting up :) Why are people so interested? I recently learned that most breastfed babies will not sleep through the night until 18 months (if they're still being nursed then)! In fact, a lactation consultant just asked me that and when I told her that he was still nursing at night, she said, "GOOD" when they stop doing that is when you people start having supply issues. So, it's totally normal for quite some time. I must say, I'm a little bummed to hear that though :)

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