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Friday, August 6, 2010

Super-sonic hearing

Since the day we brought Emeline home from the hospital, she has slept in a bassinet in our bedroom, about a foot away from me. In fact, she slept in the same bassinet that my dad and all his brothers and sister did, too. Cool, right? I'm into all that stuff, so I do find it pretty neat that we got to use it, too.

However, over the last 4-5 weeks I've been saying that I've wanted to get her sleeping in her crib in her own room by the time she turned 3 months old.

To be honest, I have no idea why I set that time-frame. I guess, I just kind of felt like it was good timing. She's not a newborn anymore. Her sleeping habits were starting to get better and better. I figured I could handle it.

The truth is, having her in a bassinet next to me was purely for my own convenience. I liked to peek over and check her whenever I wanted. When she's hungry in the middle of the night, I liked to just roll over, pick her up and pull her in bed with me to feed her. If she was a little fussy, I could gently reach over (without leaving my bed) and put my hand on her belly to soothe her. And most of all? I liked having my little family (Mac included, don't judge) all in one little room together at night. It felt...secure. It felt safe.

But the other night, I knew it was time. She'll be 3 months old next week on the 10th. I figured if I started a little early and all hell broke loose, I'd at least have a week or so to figure it out and still meet my mental goal.

We had the room all ready. I had a nightlight on for a soft, dim light. I had the room-darkening curtains. We had the soft hum of a fan going to block out some extra noises (as her room is right above our living room).

Now all it needed was a baby.

I swaddled her because that's what my kid likes. She ate. Then I laid her down drowsy but awake.

She started to squirm. [One of Declan's nicknames for her is "Squirmy Worm", ha]

She also started a little "eh, eh" noises. Not cries. Just a little fussiness.

I instantly thought the crib wasn't going to be happening that night. And secretly? I was glad. I wanted to swoop my baby girl back up and put her in her bassinet by my bedside, where she belonged.

But suddenly. It stopped. No more noise.

She was sound asleep.

Like, completely knocked out.

My heart felt heavy, though. It felt like such a huge step in acknowledging my baby isn't a newborn anymore. She has her.own.room! I'm a monitor's distance away from her now. And honestly? I was sad.

When Declan and I crawled into bed that night, it felt weird. For the last 3 months we had to creep around quietly because she was always asleep before us. We'd have to whisper our 'goodnights', and keep the bathroom light on the dimmest setting for fear of waking our sleeping baby. Although that all seems annoying and inconvenient to creep around like that, it became our norm.

That's when the emotional-mommy tears came streaming down my face.

Declan lovingly consoled me. There were no words needed. I didn't need anyone to tell me 'it would be okay'. I know all that. I do. It just was shockingly more emotional then I thought it would ever be.

Right before I decided to attempt to fall asleep for the night (or until my first wake up call), I decided to check on her just one more time. As expected, she was still oh so very sound asleep.

I laid in bed again and literally prayed this quick prayer, "God, give me super sonic hearing. If my baby needs me...please...please make sure I hear her". And yes, I used the word super-sonic with God. He understands.

Despite having the monitor right by my head, I worried I wouldn't hear her. Or, what if something happened to the monitor? What if...what if.

I ended up sleeping like crap.

I stared at the green signals of the monitor for most of the night. I would doze off here & there, but ultimately? I got the worst night of sleep I've maybe ever had, and that's sayin' somethin when you have a baby.

I found my self waking up at times when I swore she'd get up and surely, she would need her momma.

But no.

It didn't happen.

I rolled over to Declan at 5am and said, "Babe...she's been sleeping for 8 hours straight! Wow!"

I rolled over to Declan at 6am and said, "Babe! It's now been 9 hours! Holy cow."

Then at 7:15am, I finally heard the first little baby noises over the monitor.

10 straight hours. My baby girl slept 10 straight hours.* For the first night, in her crib, alone.

The second I heard her little morning noises coming from the monitor I jumped up with a spring in my step to get her. Honestly? I missed her.

When I peeked over the crib I got the biggest smiles and cute coo's ever. She was happy to see me. I was happy to see her. It melted my heart. I scooped her up and kissed all over her sweet cheeks.

I brought her into our room and Declan and I ooh'ed an ahh'ed over the fact that she slept 10! straight! hours! We were in shock.

And sadly? I didn't even get to reap the benefits of a nice, long stretch of uninterrupted sleep because I was up all night staring at that freakin' monitor. But, still.

It worked out. The crib, that is. Nine days before she turned 3 months old, she's sleeping in her crib like an old pro. And you know what? The 2nd night I wasn't as sad about it. It get's easier.

It's better for all of us. She needs her space. We need our space. It's all part of the process, right?

My girl's growing up.

~*~

*As I suspected, the straight 10 hour night was a total fluke. She hasn't done it again since...but, she has been sleeping about 6 hours, up once to eat for 10 minutes, then right back down for another 4-5 hours. It hasn't been bad at all. However, it would be reeeeeally, really nice to get a 10 hour stretch again, you know...now that I'm sleeping better.

~*~

Happy Friday!

30 comments:

  1. Congrats Emeline--in your big girl crib! And yay MOM! for making it through the night :) What an accomplishment. You should be proud! I've also set a mental goal of three months, but I feel like I'm screwed because we have a twin bed (no where else to put it since we're renting) in the nursery. It'll take all my will to not sleep there! hehe

    p.s. What kind of monitor do you have?

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  2. L slept in our room for FIVE months because his reflux was so severe that he would stop breathing. Finally at five months, he slept in his bouncy chair in his crib. Poor guy.

    Did you have to get up to pump??

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  3. YAY!! Go Emeline!!! Party in her crib now, LOL!!! :)

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  4. It's crazy how much that's exactly like what happened with us! I, too, moved her at 3 months (btw, she's already three months? WOW!) And she, too, slept through the night for the longest stretch ever when we first moved her - and I, too, didn't get the benefits! I was also so sad about it, but then when I realized how much better she slept in her crib, I felt bad about not moving her sooner. I so, so relate. It's wonderful to have your own space but it feels so much safer to have them tucked in your nook all night long :)

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  5. awww congrats to all of you!! I understand why you would feel sad that she is in her crib but at least it will be easier for you not having to creep around!

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  6. Way to go Emeline! Super sleeper :) And way to go, Momma, that is awesome!

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  7. Oh, and I had to share a funny story... My sister slept on the floor next to my niece's crib the first night she slept in her room. She said she did not get a wink of sleep because she was sitting up peeking into her crib the entire night. lol.

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  8. Wow! What a big girl! So happy that everything worked out well for you guys. :)

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  9. What a big step for both of you! Awesome!!! And I love how Declan comforted you knowing you just needed to let it out - you two are such a great team!

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  10. Loved chatting with you about this on Twitter .. . it is hard and I love having my little girls sleeping right with me but then I also love my alone time with my husband and space to sleep. We are transitioning Avin a lot faster then we did Alex.

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  11. Awwwww..... that's so sweet. I'm glad that Eme is enjoying her new bed and hope you're able to relax a little more each night!

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  12. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure I will have the same mixed emotions. Glad to her Miss Eme is doing so well in her big girl bed!

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  13. I put Maddie in her own room at seven weeks old in her moses basket inside the crib and shes been sleeping ten hours a night since then! I must admit though I still sleep like crap as I stare at the baby screen all night!

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  14. Wow, that's great! From friends who have had babies, I understand that sleeping on their own is pretty impressive.

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  15. We made the jump to the crib mainly because Connor wasn't looking comfortable in the swing anymore.. Kinda like stuffing a hamburger into a hot dog bun. Doesn't work! He is a tummy sleeper so we have a movement monitor. It went off one night because he had wormed his way off of the sensor. So instead of disturbing him I turned the monitor off so the alarm wouldn't sound again. However, I forgot to turn the other monitor on! Needless to say I felt like a horrible mother for not be able to hear him cry when he woke up. Oh well... we both got over it. Oh, and that first night's sleep when they are in their crib? Sucks doesn't it! It takes a few days to recuperate from the sleep loss!

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  16. aww you're so cute and so is your girl. I can imagine how hard it was for you to let her sleep in her crib alone. But it's getting easier every day, isn't it.

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  17. Congrats to your big girl! And 10 straight hours?!? Fluke or not I'm jealous! I don't know the last time I slept for more than 3 straight hours.

    I'm still debating where Jamie will sleep. His crib is ready to go literally steps from our room...we share a wall that's how close I'm talking. But I also have the pack n play all set up in our room...just in case we bring him home and I can't bare to have him 10 steps away.

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  18. P.S. I got my hair clips/bands in the mail today. YAY!! so I sent you a little shout out on my blog :)
    http://katieblake.blogspot.com/2010/08/24-weeks.html

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  19. Way to go Eme! I'm so glad that the transition was smooth and easy for both of you. That's great! And my fingers are crossed for more 10 hour stretches!

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  20. That's great!!! She's going to be a toddler before you know it!

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  21. Dude, total baby name twins-we did the same thing with the bassinet. And the swaddling. And the first night away sleep. And the three months thing. It gets nicer and better! :D

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  22. Katie, I cried as well when I put my daughter in her crib for the first time. I had the same goal of 3 months but then we went to visit my parents and I didn't want her to be used to a quiet room so I kept her in our room 3 months turned into 5...yes 5 months! The ONLY reason I switched her is because she had casts on both legs up to her thighs (her feet started turning in and they had to be casted to correct it...) and she kept kicking her legs up and down because she was so uncomfortable. This kept me up on numerous occasions so I finally decided that it was time to move her to her big girl crib, it was so hard but now I am glad we did. I put her in her crib once while I was folding clothes after she was out of it and she looked so big and awkward.
    Oh, good for you on the swaddle thing...my daughter was swaddled up until 7 months!!! SHE will let you know when SHE is ready!!! My daughter started pulling one arm out so I knew she was ready for that arm to be out. She slept like that for about a month and a half then one day I went into her room after nap and she was on the opposite side of the crib laying the opposite direction on her belly. That night she went to bed completely un-swaddled. Be prepared to not sleep well for the first week or so after she transitions, Olivia was up oh about 1687382 times that first night...I wanted to die after that night! It will get better!
    Anyway, sorry for such a long comment but I just had to say GOOD JOB EME AND MOMMY!!!

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  23. So proud of you Katie. I read somewhere that these things are usually harder on the parents then the child. Olivia sleeps in her crib now and sleeps a similar routine to Emeline. Our girls are growing up right before our eyes.

    I admit, I love hearing her little voice on the monitor asking me to come get her.

    Take Care,
    Lisa

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  24. Our journey has begun!… secretly though

    If I’ve left you this message, you’re a follower of my original blog ~OR~ just someone I’ve happened upon while sending out these invites and that I would LOVE for to come along for the ride! Though I won’t be revealing who I am just yet – until we’re TO and THROUGH the first trimester! Just getting the word out about our new site – further explanation of all the secrecy and what we’re about on my first post. I’d love for you to stop by.

    Exciting things going on around here!

    http://www.DefinitelyMaybeBaby.com

    ~ the {secret} *Maybe* Baby Mama

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  25. We seriously need to get these kids to meet before they are 25, married and moved on from each other LOL.

    Left you something on my blog!

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  26. Yay!! Yeah, sometimes the move turns out to be more for their benefit. We finally made the move when we realized we were the ones keeping him up!
    I'm totally impressed you were able to do it so early (we waited till 3-4 months). I would've boo-hoo'd too. But yay for sleep, right?? :)

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  27. That's awesome that she slept so well for you her first time in the crib overnight! Stinks you couldn't enjoy it the way you probably wanted to, though. But there will come a day, right? :)

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  28. I love this post. We're going to move E into his room very soon too. He sleeps through the night every night so there is no reason to make him sleep in our room, but I like my little guy being close to me. Keep your fingers crossed for us that we have good luck like you!

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  29. I so remember feeling that way with my boys. It was so hard to make that step with them. I remember the first night with my oldest, I checked on him several times and probably slept less than I would have if he was in our room! It's definitely nice that the slept the whole night for you! Hopefully she'll do it again!

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