Thursday, October 21, 2010

I'm a bad line picker

I am the queen of picking the wrong line. Always.

The grocery store, Kmart, Kohls, Wally's World....whatever.

I always pick the wrong checkout line. Without.Fail.

Just this week I had to go to the bank to deposit a check. I rarely go to the bank anymore since everything is done online (hallelujah), but since I was there, I happened to be next door to a Kmart.

Now, I know Kmart's are not all that. You know...not all that, ehh...classy, let's say. But, I had to pick up some wipes, and a part for our toilet that just keeps running. It was right there, after all.

And if you're anything like me, you plan your trips out around your baby's happy time, and when you're pushing it, it could easily turn into overly-tired CryFest 2010. So, needless to say, I didn't want to waste any time traveling to Target which is about 15 minutes further.

So to Kmart we go.

We pick up a few things and cruise through the aisles. I realize while walking around that there IS something calming about that place versus the dreaded Walmart. It's totally quiet and there is hardly anyone there versus the masses at WM.

I figure we're starting to cut it close to non-happy time, and so I better go check out.

There are, of course only 2 lanes open. It's Kmart after all, so no need for 349034 checkout lines.

Both lines are surprisingly pretty about 4 people deep. No big'll go fast, I thought.


I could tell that the older woman at the register was having some kind of issue. I started to peer over to the other line checking out how fast it's moving, but I kept double guessing myself. If I move, chances are someone over there will end up having some kind of issue at checkout, and it'll serve me right for moving lines to begin with.

So, of course, I stay put. And of course, the line starts to build up behind me--so, I end up getting stuck anyway.


At least 5 minutes goes by. 5 minutes? Not a huge deal, normally.

My on-edge baby added a teeny-tiny bit of urgency, however. I pulled out all the stops. We were singing (okay, I was singing), making babbling noises, humming, pushing the stroller back and forth, pulling odds and ends from the shelves for her to 'play' with while we waited. You know, the usual.

Then, the guy who was 2nd in line got out of line and returned his stuff, and left the store. Obviously, he didn't want to be bothered with waiting.

I can't blame him, honestly. Woman up at the register was taking FORever and making the poor cashier "try my card again, I swear there's money on it" about 75x even though it repeatedly came up declined.

The woman in front of me had one box of cheez-it's. ONE measly box.

About 10 minutes had passed by this point.

She even took a few steps back and admired Emeline and 'chatted' with her for a few seconds. Anything to pass the time and try to avoid the eye-rolling. I felt her pain.

Finally, she huffed...."I can live without this box of crackers! I'm outta here" and walked out of line.

Honestly? If I wasn't A. Jammed in the line with a stroller and B. Stock-piled with wipes, toilet parts, baby shampoo/bubble bath, a new fleece for E, and lightbulbs--I woulda high-tailed it out of there too.

The two people in front of me were both gone now. Woman was STILL at the register, STILL insisting that this so-called gift card had $50 on it. She didn't care even one.tiny.bit that people had left the line, or that I had a semi-fussy baby on my hands, not to mention the line that now trailed back to the jewelry counter.

She finally said, "Oh, I'll just take this to customer service and try it there, I don't want to hold anybody up". [Too late!]

Um, yea. Good thinking 20freakingminuteslater.

Meanwhile, I watched 10...maybe 15 people blow through the line I SHOULD have gotten in to begin with all during the time I stood there waiting. Entertaining my bored child. Having small talk with strangers. Watching Kmart lose sales.

This is the story of my life. I always, without fail choose the wrong line.

Do you?


  1. yessssss. i do. it's like the opening scene in "office space" ... where he switches into another car lane, only to have that one stop. so he switches to the other, and it stops.

  2. Haha! I am notorious for switching lines and of course the line I switch to is way slower. It's like the beginning of Office Space when he's stuck in traffic and every time he switches lanes the lane he was in starts moving. Oh brother!

  3. ALWAYS!!! And I hate it. I got stuck at the bank one day and watched about 5 other cars go before my lane even moved. And...those cars had gotten there after me. Annoying...

  4. We do to. It's almost a game between my husband and I, if it weren't always the case that both of us end up picking the wrong line. Our last wally world venture happened to be the first day food stamps came out and we happened to pick the line that had a girl doing multiple food stamps orders. Then, she picked the wrong brand of 4 gallons of milk, so she decided to go back - to the back of the store - to pick up the right brand. And, of course, after her 4 orders, her husband had another 2, then her mother had her own.

    Our walmart only keeps 2-3 checkout lines open at a time, how frustrating!

  5. Yep, always happens to me too. The second I switch. the line I just left FLYS! So annoying. I definitely appreciate the quietness of stores SO MUCH! We have a WM neighborhood market (HATE!) and a regular target RIGHT by our house, I'm talking we don't even have to leave our neighborhood to get to them. But, we drive 20 minutes to a huge super target becasue we enjoy how quiet that one is!

  6. Some people just amaze me with their lack of consideration!!!!!! Ha!!!

  7. I'm a horrible line picker.

    Except at Target.

    Then, again, it could be their policy of not having more than 3 people in a line at any given time.

  8. I pick the right line, and get right through.. unless I'm in a hurry. Then I always pick the wrong one.
    We had the same situation in an electronics store a couple of weeks ago. The woman was asking the cashier to read the term of use to her, etc. Everyone in that line eventually put their stuff down and left, us included.

  9. this ALWAYS happens to me and whenever I switch lines it always ends up being worse! this is why i <3 u scan!

  10. I feel like I could have written this post! I NEVER pick the right line, there's always an issue. I'll sometimes even go to pick a line and then change at the last minute in hopes that the 2nd one (which wasn't my gut instinct) will be faster, but nope, never works!

  11. Confession: sometimes when Evan and I are together, we each pick a different line and watch each other and then go to the one that is moving faster.

  12. Oh yeah - and I always always always have this same problem at the border. No matter which lane I pick, the other cars zoom past me.

  13. This is why I vowed to never step foot in a Wal-Mart again about 3 months ago and am sticking to it. Ever trip was so frustrating and time consuming it wasn't worth the $2-3 I might have saved over Target.

    My final straw was a 45 minute wait to check out at Super Wal-Mart with a cart full of groceries! 45 minutes! It was an older gentleman and I definitely picked the wrong line, although all of them were really long.

  14. Minus the baby, I could have written this post. I *always* choose the wrong line! It's like my super power.

  15. I'm an awful line picker as well. Ther can be two with 2 people and one with 5. I will choose the shorter of the two and almost always wait longer. It's Murphy's Law.

  16. I am the QUEEN of picking the wrong line!! I feel you there!
    In baby related news, Sunday I had my first taste of being the lady with the untamable baby in the store. Allie wailed the.whole.time we were in Babies R Us. I changed her, I nursed her, nope. She wailed...and wailed...and I couldn't hightail it because I NEEDED more newborn sized diapers. Why do people lie and say you DON'T need newborn sizes?

  17. YES. I always second guess myself. When I pick the short one, someone in front of me has an issue. If I pick the longer one and choose to wait it out, the cashier is either older or handicapped... so then I'm afraid if I switch, I'll offend them somehow! And it never fails that when this happens, it's ALWAYS when Noah's ready for a nap (even if he shouldn't really be tired yet).
    Who knew so many people were having the same problem??? :)

  18. ah me too! Wrong line, wrong lane etc. Hate it. And how rude of that lady, I mean it isn't rocket science and I am sure 99% of the time the register is not wrong. it is amazing how some people don't think of others... at all!!

  19. Wow!! I can't believe that lady. I would have lost my patience for sure.

    I don't always pick the fast line....but I usually try to just resign myself to the fate of being in the slow line and just zone out so I don't drive myself crazy. I know if I tried to switch lines that one would wind up being slower.

  20. I have the exact same "talent". Seriously it takes talent to pick the slowest line every. freaking. time. I always second guess myself too and then feel like an idiot when I don't switch to the other line(that eventually moves much faster).

  21. I do the same darn thing. Every time. It drives me nuts. I start to sweat, swear internally, and start to get so ticked I turn red. This is why I hate shopping alone, too.

  22. i always choose the wrong lane in traffic...makes me crazy!!!

    and kmart is SO quiet sometimes it's a little weird. but i went a few months ago for simple tanks, and got a grey blazer for a whopping $15. so score one for the big k...that one time.

  23. Oh thank goodness! It's not just me who gets stuck behind these people!

  24. Yes Katie, this always happens to me. I quit going shopping at all if Ican help it just to avoid lines. Anyone want t do my grocery shopping for me. :)
    Use to love it, now, no way!

    Your momma

  25. I feel like this is a common phenomenon. I call it the office space phenomenon. It happens to me in traffic ALL THE TIME. I always get over and the suddenly the lane i was just in starts moving and the lane I moved to stops. AWESOME. I would've been Sooooo frustrated i wouldn't have been able to help but moan and groan audibly. *SOME PEOPLE*

  26. yes! Especially when I'm trying to get through the gate at the base in the mornings for work! I've discovered the Wal Mart trick is to try to get to the garden area checkout. It works sometimes...