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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Letters that make me feel better

Dear Weather,

Holy beeejeeeez. Make up your mind! Yesterday, it's all super warm out--so much so, that I had my air conditioning on because our 3rd floor was boiling. This morning? I wake up freezing only to find its a measily 40-some degree's out? I mean, Fall is welcomed, but this bi-polar way of getting there is.not.cool. All my summer clothes are put away now. Please abide to the fact that IT IS FALL. Mmm K?

Love,
A sweating in my sweaters, Me


*****

Dear 18 year old self,

Why didn't you realize you were hot back then? I mean, duuude....you were thin! And you thought you weren't! Had you known what you'd look like after having a baby (and all jiggly like), you would have flaunted in that 2-piece a little more, perhaps?

Love,
A more flabby version of yourself


*****

Dear St*rbucks,

I hear you raised your prices because the price of coffee and sugar went up. Must be nice for you. Well, just so you know Mr. St*rbucks, I will no longer be buying a $5 iced soy chai latte for my convenience while I stroll the aisles of Target. No, no, Sir. I will not. Why? Because I have purchased the freakishly easy ingredients to make it on my OWN. I can now make 7 soy chai's for every 1 you're trying to charge. TAKE THAT.

Love,
The money saving diva in me.


*****

Dear Closet,

When I am standing in you...just staring. THROW ME A BONE, WOULD YA?! You *know* I am standing there just waiting and hoping for something new, and flattering, and hide-my-belly-fat'ish to just pop out. You know this. SO MAKE IT HAPPEN, please.

Okay.Thanks.

Love,
An 'everything-clings-to-the-wrong-parts' me.


*****

Dear PopT*rts,

Why do your little ingenious food inventions have to be SO good? And why oh why do they have to be so freaking high in calories (as my dear friend likes to point out)? Why do they have to go so well with my morning cup-o-joe? Really? Way to flaunt your high-calorie-delectable-self in my face.

Love,
Crumb covered hands


*****

Dear Husband,

Thank you for coming home from California safe. Thank you so much for the cute little effort in sending me flowers. While they are beyond gorgeous and I LOVE having them to stare at all day, I guess it kind of defeated the purpose when they arrived on Monday, even though you came home on Sunday. The card that read, "Love you, miss you, See you soon!" was sweet. But you were standing right there, in front of me, the day they arrived.

I still love flowers, for any occassion or lack-there-of (as you know), so I'm more then pleased to stare at this gorgeous bouquet any day. As you know, it's the thought that counts, my love.

Love,
Your "never leave me alone for 5 days again" wife


[For the record, it was the florists fault. Boo.]

*****

Dear hair,

Stop falling out! I realize that along with all the other postpartum fun things mom's have to deal with, that hair-loss is one of the "side dishes" too, but for real?! Don't you think we have enough on our mind?

I do not appreciate finding my hair, every freakin' where around the house. Including, in between the fingers of my daughter, on her clothing, heck, even in her diaper. That just grosses me out even though it's my own hair.

Seriously, this shedding thing has.got.to.stop.

I do not want to be bald.

Love,
A Momma who just wants to keep her hair


*****

Happy Wednesday


21 comments:

  1. Lol this was a cute post! It reminds me of the letters Jimmy Fallon writes on his show! I think your flowers are so pretty for fall:o) I agree, all my summer clothes are packed in boxes so it's time for chilly weather but certainly not COLD weather! Happy wednesday!

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  2. LOL, I love this! I may have to copy the idea over the next few days, because there are several letters I'd like to write.

    How are the homemade iced soy chai latte's? Are they good? Can you post a recipe, please?

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  3. Isn't it always that flowers arrive later than they should?! My dad send my mama flowers for her birthday and her office gave them to her a day late! sheesh! Glad the hubs is home safe and sound. And good for you for boycotting Starbucks and taking the smarter 'frugal-er' way out! ;)

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  4. giggle giggle giggle. crmub covered hands was my fav :)

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  5. Even my husband got a kick out of this one (and he's not much of a blog reader... he just doesn't "get it"). He read the one to your 18 year old self and was like, "That's what I keep telling YOU." lol.
    And I've always been a shedder. Hair everywhere. It totally disgusted me when I found one in Noah's diaper... that HAD to be uncomfortable.

    Happy Wednesday. :)

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  6. So cute! And I'm actually enjoying the post partum shedding. I had crazy thick hair before and now it's just outta control!

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  7. This is a super cute post! I feel like I could have written each of these letters myself (my hubs just gave me an anniversary present. 3 weeks late. It IS the thought.HA!) And I am sure you have had like 100 requests for it, but I think I need the recipe for the soy chi. I am spending my daughters college fund on Starbucks lately. Kidding, but seriously, it sounds YUM!

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  8. I feel like you wrote letters from me too. Especially that 18 year old self one - uh yeah. Body by baby.

    Cute post =)

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  9. this was hilarious! i laughed out loud several times...thanks for the smile :)

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  10. Ditto on the last one! I now have the dog beat on shedding.

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  11. They have low fat pop tarts now!!!! :) They are pretty good too!!

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  12. I dig the letters.

    What IS up with this bipolar weather? Holy goodness. 78 during the day, 42 at night? Unheard of.

    And Starbucks raised their prices? That's awesome. Hope they don't think that will HELP their business...*shakes head*

    As for the Poptarts...I try to stay far away, because when it comes to the strawberry frosted ones...I'm gone.

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  13. Fun post! It reminded me of Jimmy Fallon's show when he does the same type of thing.

    I love chai tea lattes!

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  14. so... the hair stops falling out in clumps, eventually... it took me until month 7 ;) and if you're like me and want something sweet with your coffee you could try out my little obsession. i have a lorna doone 100 cal pack with my coffee. yum! try it :) also, saw you tried out the swings. we really should try them out on a playdate with our blue eyed babes soon :)

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  15. The weather is insane! I can't put away my summer clothing because everytime that I have so far the next day is 90 degrees!

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  16. Thank you for making me smile at 6:45am! I greatly enjoy your writing style dear daughter-in-love.

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  17. HA HA those were fun to read and I bet it felt good to get that off your chest!

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  18. Seriously, I was just thinking that. I miss my 18-year-old body. And I've accepted it will never come back! But dude, I want it back.

    Also, I just tried to right click on your "comments" link, and I got a prompt saying I couldn't steal your photos. Which I wouldn't do. But still, seems weird, huh?

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  19. Katie, this is so cute! Made Dad and I laugh as we enjoyed our coffee. Love you all so much. Your Momma

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  20. with you on the shedding hair! i hate to say it, but my son is 8.5 months old and i am STILL losing hair in droves! it's not quite as bad as it was a few months ago, but it's still more that usual. wait til the little wispies start growing in. and i hear you on the clothes in the closet, too. cute letters!

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