I have made connections with people from literally all over the globe because of my blog....because of pregnancy/chat forums I've been on, because of one thing or another.
And within the last few months I have had an insane amount of people I consider "friends" who have struggled with loss.
Loss of a baby. No matter the size of the baby...whether at 6 weeks in the womb, or a few hours old. Recently? I've heard it all.
And my heart breaks.
It literally is ripped from my chest every.single.time I hear of a loss, or read about the grief my friends are going through.
I usually tell Declan. He can also relate, and I can see sadness come across his face. We both feel. We really, truly feel for others when loss occurs.
Why? Because we've been there.
I've been there.
I know those feelings all too well.
I know what it feels like to be pissed at the world, yet so sad and broken at the same time.
I remember the feelings of seeing blissfully pregnant women and having thoughts of "They could never understand the hurt I feel.......", or "They can't appreciate the life they carry the way I can now..."
All of those thoughts were in my head. Whether right or wrong, they were there. Real, raw, true feelings....emotions.
Sometimes, now that I sit here, with a beautiful, happy and witty little (almost) 5 month old---it's easy to forget.
But, I don't want to forget.
I don't want to forget to take a second and send an extra prayer of thanksgiving up to God for the promise of the life He let me carry to term.
I don't want to forget that so many of my friends are still struggling daily with conceiving.
I don't want to forget that miscarriage and loss of a baby at any stage comes with so much grief.
I am here.
I remember the pain.
But, I also remember that God blew my mind when he gave me the gift of my precious daughter, whom I cannot imagine living my life without.
With pain always comes joy.
To my friends who are still struggling in any way, shape or form ---I'm praying for you. Your joy will come, and I can't wait to be a witness when it happens.
"Though your sorrow may last for a night, JOY comes in the morning."