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Friday, October 15, 2010

We're standing together today.

{This is a repost from what I wrote exactly 1 year ago, while pregnant with Emeline. I have so many dear friends still struggling with infertility issues, or who are able to have a child but for some reason, have repeat miscarriages. My heart breaks every time I hear of that. This day is for those little ones...}

It's October 15th--the National day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss. I have to say, that I am so pleased that there is a day that all momma's, or were-to-be momma's, friends, and grandparents can light a candle in memory of the little love that was lost. To be honest, not a day goes by that I don't think about my miscarriage, so, it's not just about today--but that the world recognizes these little ones as precious lives, which they were, and are.

I can't just "move on" [in fact, those words make me quiver], I never will. I will absolutely never forget the extreme joy I felt when I tested on June 4th, and got a positive pregnancy test. I was shaking, and dancing, and running around the house freaking out that "I'm going to be a MOM!" I will absolutely never forget the excitement Declan felt when I told him when he got home from work, or how I told him, and that I had it planned for months. I will never forget the pregnancy symptoms that I had, and how hard it was to choke anything down, because ewww-food. I will never forget how I hated pizza with the pregnancy. I couldn't stand the sight of it. I will not forget when I purchased belly bands and was overjoyed that I.got.to.wear.these. I will not forget spending hours on Etsy searching for everything hand-made and baby, for that specific little one. I will never forget the day we realized you had slipped away so suddenly. Absolutely NEVER.

It's impossible to forget. That little one was a part of me, a part of us...and although he or she wasn't able to make their grand entrance into the world, they have surely made their grand entrance on my heart forever.

So tonight, at 7pm your time--light a candle in memory of a little love that didn't get the opportunity to make it's mark on the world, just on our hearts.

I'm thinking of and standing with all of you who have suffered the same painful loss--because we will never, and can never forget.

xoxo


8 comments:

  1. Katie my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I rejoice in the fact that you are holding your sweet Emeline this year. I hope you don't mind but I linked you on my blog post today.

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  2. I was sitting at my desk trying to cry without anyone seeing me and failing miserably. It took me forever to write mine because I kept going back to those days and feeling sad all over again and crying and having to get up and go to the bathroom to blow my nose, and finally come back because you have to finish it, you know?

    You know.

    Big hugs to you today.

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  3. Firstly Thanks so much for reading my blog, glad u liked it!
    Secondly one of the blogs I read alot have started this blog http://www.withtearsoflove.com/ about miscarrage and I though you would like to know about it! It made me cry!
    xxx

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  4. Thank you. I was so young, (okay, not young, but we can pretend), and definitely naive way back when I began trying to conceive. 10 years and 2 losses and 3 beautiful babies later, now I understand.
    I can't believe how insensitive I used to be.
    Thank you.

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  5. :(
    Honestly, I took my pregnancy for granted. I was so concerned about gaining too much weight or getting the nursery done, that I had a hard time stopping and realizing how incredibly BLESSED I was to have this baby.
    I swear I'll never be that way ever again. After reading and hearing about all the trouble people have had with infertility, it definitely has made me cherish it more.

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  6. aww Katie that was a really sweet post and I am glad you shared it with everyone.

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