Seriously, I am warning you now--complete TMI coming your way. I will give you three seconds to duck, run and hide-or just simply close your browser.
Oh, you're staying?
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Yesterday morning a little pesky, annoying, and unwelcomed 'visitor' (that only comes to women, ::ahem::, catching my drift?) decided to makes it appearance for the first time in freakin' forever.
You know, one of the great things about being pregnant is the absence of your period, am I right? Well, I guess if you're anyone like me (or my sister [Sorry for putting your biz out there sis, love ya!]) who has suffered greatly over the years, doubling over in pain every month from the cramps and other yuckiness that comes along with the mark of womanhood, that is. Therefore, being without that while pregnant was ah-ma-zing. Amazing.
Not only that, but thanks to the exclusive breastfeeding gig, it stayed away for another 6 months on top of the 9'ish that I was pregnant. Add on top of that the few months before I was pregnant and miscarried--and I've only had one measily cycle [and then Eme was "made", Tmi?] in 18 months.
Eight-teen-glorious-cramp-free [minus the whole labor/cramping/contractions thing]-months.
So, enter yesterday's scene where it unexpectedly shows up again. Enter doubling over in pain. Enter tylenol. Enter moaning. Enter OhMyGOSH, curse womanhood, gahhh!
Now, look. I realize I am pretty lucky and there are no hard and fast rules to the breastfeeding thing. Lots of people don't get their cycle back until after breastfeeding is all said and done, some get it back even while breastfeeding like me (6 months in), and some people get it weeks after popping a babe out.
So, my body did me good I guess. I really shouldn't complain.
Luckily, that box of tampons I bought right before I found out I was pregnant with Emeline was shoved back in the far corner of my bathroom cabinet. And yes, even though I was pretty sure I was pregnant I still bought tampons, because don't you know the rule? If you don't buy them, your period is sure to come. If you do buy them, you'll get pregnant! [Totally kidding. Sort of.] It's kind of like the white pants rule. The day you wear white pants, your period will also come. It just happens. So yea.
Anyway, I'm back.
Back in the wonderful world of 'womanhood' again. I didn't miss it. Not one bit.
The bloat. The fatty feelings. The irritability. Oh gosh, the cramps, oh the cramps. The backache. The fatigue (oh wait, I have a baby...).
I am woman. Hear me roar. Or bitch and moan. Same thing, right?
Here's the part where I distract you and try to get you to forget what you just read.
Look! A cute baby!