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Thursday, November 11, 2010

When sadness and overwhelming happiness collide

I honestly thought Eme's little six month birthday milestone was hard. I am totally becoming one of those mom's I used to internally criticize.

I'm the one now wishing for time to slow down now.

I'm the one trying to savor every second.

I'm the one who can imagine the day of her birth like it was seconds ago.

And yea, I'm the mom who cries when she puts away her newborn clothes in totes.

I'm so that mom.

On Tuesday night, Declan and I were laying in bed talking right before falling asleep. I told him how I have this overwhelming sense of what felt like sadness, [or maybe it was happiness?] that was just overcoming me.

Half.a.year. She was half a year old the next day.

I laid there and sobbed. Big, messy, wet-the-sheets tears.

Declan was sweet as usual, and told me that it's good--she's meant to grow, she's perfectly on track, and she's happy. She's so happy.

I knew all this. It's good. She's wonderful--and seriously, one of the happiest babies I know.

I was more sad that I could hardly remember my tiny little 6 1/2 lb. baby. She literally grows everyday in front of my eyes.

I hate that I forget.

...and I hate how fast time goes.

So, I did the obvious thing on her 6 month birthday. I sat there and went through photos of the day she was born. When she was just seconds, minutes old.

I marveled at the fact of how little and squishy she was, and how her face has changed so much---and how she's such an interactive, fun little girl now--and how that's only going to keep changing and developing.

I wasn't sad, or overwhelmed.

I was thrilled.

I love watching her story unfold in front of me.

So, I'll revel in the moments.

May 10, 2010

November 10th, 2010
[Because I know people will ask, her onesie was made by my sister!]

Happy Thursday!

19 comments:

  1. Aw. I guess I will be in this boat at some point fairly soon, eh? I love how so many bloggers are new moms, because it's interesting to see these kinds of posts, and to see yes - just how quickly these babies grow and change! But it is a good thing...and I know you know that...but as a mother, I can't imagine that making it much easier to accept. Just keep cherishing those moments as they come! :)

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  2. Oh wow, she has changed so much!!! Such a beauty :)

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  3. It does amaze me how fast time goes!! Visiting my Godnieces and seeing how much they have changed it's always bittersweet. So happy that they are growing and happy so sad that I can't be a bigger part of their lives. She's a beauty that's for sure!!

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  4. Thanks, now my day has started in tears haha!

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  5. She's so gorgeous :)

    I love that you share her with us and we get to watch her grow, too!

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  6. oh, katie.. she looks so much more like you, every day! hubs and i were just talking about the newborn squishiness yesterday.. and how it's turning into big boy squishies and they're just not the same! can i tell you a secret? for the first time since C was born, I thought to myself, "I could definitely get pregnant again, like tomorrow, and be so happy.." No wonder women go on to have 3, 4 and 5 babies.. Its that squishy-ness. :) let's work on setting up a playdate.. maybe inbetween the holidays? happy thursday xox

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  7. This brought tears to my eyes (again!) just thinking about my new little baby being born any day now. She's not even here yet and I already don't want her to grow up!!! But Declan is right--she's SO happy. And healthy!

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  8. do you remember how much she weighed at her two month appt? she was almost the same weight as my baby when they were born and I'm just wondering?

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  9. Ok, I held it together. Kind of. You just summed up everything I go through with Noah.
    My mom is actually having a hard time right now. My little sister (the baby) is 13 now. My mom was all upset, telling me how they only have 4 more years left with her and she's off to college!
    Somehow, this was supposed to make you feel better...?
    But Declan is so right, which is what I think I'm trying to get at. Each stage is just as important as the last. She's happy and healthy and so much fun to watch grow! :)

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  10. Her shirt is adorable, I love the feather colors! And my motto is cherish and love the past, delight in the present, and marvel in the wonder of the future. Each day is amazing!

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  11. She's so beautiful. I love the picture of the two of you when she's a newborn. I mean, they're all cute, but that one is extra special.

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  12. Aww she has changed so much!! One thing hasnt changed though and that's that she is still as beautiful as ever!

    I love her onesie!!!

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  13. Oh, and it's just the beginning of those slow.down.mother.time moments....just imagine trying to pick out a preschool for your toddler. Talk about sad!

    HUGS.

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  14. I hear you! My baby is 10 1/2 years old. Time goes by way too fast!

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  15. oh how true it is it is both sad and so happy at the same time. They grow so fast and we forget things that is one of my favorite things about blogging because you litteraly can go back and almost retrace every single day and every little detail.

    smile because your husband is right she is happy and healthy and growing and turning into this sweet little girl!

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  16. Oh gosh.....it all just goes so fast. I hate to say it...but it doesnt slow down! My baby is about to be 2 and I feel like he was born YESTERDAY!!

    She is just the cutest little thing :)

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  17. My Nolan is 6 months today! Time does really fly by! I am the same way. I still cry to this day when my babies turn a yr & 4 yrs old. I can't believe that they are this old now! It's crazy!!! :)

    BTW I truly love love the outfit!! :) Makes me wish I have a little girl again. My baby girl is 18 months old! LOL! :)

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  18. absolutely PRECIOUS!! It is amazing how they grow so much in the first year. :)

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  19. so your sister inspired me and i had to make my little girl a turkey shirt. so tell her thanks for the inspiration and thanks to you for having a cute little girl.

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