Pages

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The story of last night.

[I lied. I'm back. This is too funny not to share. Err...well, "funny" is relative, right?]

*

So, last night my sister came over for our annual Christmas cookie-bake. 

When she came in the door (arms full of groceries), I was down there switching the laundry [Gasp. I know.], and Miss EmeKay was watching peacefully.

She saw her Aunt Susie and got really excited. So, naturally, Susan got on the ground with her and started trying to coax her to crawl towards her. 

We were totally, and utterly ENGROSSED in this situation:
[and yea. We.are.crazy. We sound like insane-o's. I was behind the camera. She was the one yelling, "get on your knees!"---we'll hold the crude jokes, ok?]


I know. So close, right?

It's cute, none the less.

But while we were completely and utterly acting like idiots into the almost-crawling situation, my dog decided to get into some shenanigans.

We turn around to go up the steps to the kitchen, when we see it.

A half eaten stick of butter.

LITERALLY, right behind us (like, a foot behind us) he got into the bags of groceries, and managed to eat 2oz of butter including the wrapper.

My dog is 12lbs. That is a heckofalot of lard for one tiny pup.

We joked while making cookies as we kept catching Mac off in the corner acting delusional on a fat-high. He was acting all sorts of lethargic, and a little hazy at best. We even joked a little that "oh we'll probably wake up to diarrhea in the middle of the night."

[Hardy-har-har. Right?] NOT.

Fast forward to 4am this morning. I was getting a little hot in bed and decided to fling the covers off me and put my leg outside the covers. But then, I felt something. Oh my flipping gosh. I FELT SOMETHING. 

And then? I started smacking my husband to "OH MY GOSH GET UP!!! I THINK MAC POOPED IN OUR BED AND I JUST STEPPED IN ITTTT!"

He was all "huh?" and turned on the lights. And then the classic murder-scene/scary-scene music in movies became our real life. 

Flicking on the lights at 4am because of dog poop is NOT my idea of fun. I'd rather be up with a baby any day. Honest. But Eme? She was sleeping peacefully in her crib.

After I hopped (yes, I hopped) to the bathroom & stuck my foot in the sink to wash off the dog crap--we began stripping the bed at fourflippin'AM, doing laundry, getting cleaned up, etc.

I assure you, we were NOT laughing, then. In fact, more like muttering curse words.

So?

The little hopping/almost crawl/she's so close video was worth it. I think. But, good Lord. Butter & dogs? Do.not.mix.

Take it from me.

19 comments:

  1. Ahhh, Katie this is HILARIOUS! First off, look how precious sweet Eme is! She is SO close to crawling! That little booty is too adorable. And seriously, your stories are priceless. I know you were hating it last night but it sure makes for a good, entertaining blog post :) Merry, merry Christmas, sweet friend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was going to comment on how cute she is and what a little peanut she looks like, but the dog thing is tooooo much. Your foot? In the........? So sorry your night ended up like that. SICK!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG!! That seriously is a fear of mine ... stepping in dog crap or throw up!! You poor thing!

    But the video of Eme is so cute! Her booty up the in air and the army crawl! Too cute!

    What software do you use to create the title at the beginning and add the music?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh man. Poop in your BED??????????

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had hints from your twitter, but it's so much more horrifying/amusing in blog form!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is hysterical!!!!!!!

    Eme's little army crawl is too stinking cute. I love her little tush up in the air.

    And........ I don't know why, but your voice is totally different than what I had in my head, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i am crying/laughing right now reading your rendition of this... omg it's too much.

    so sorry about the butter. at least the cookies were good. gerald downed them in about 5 seconds and it wasn't until the last one that he even realized they were decorated! lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh that's HORRIBLE!!!! But the almost crawl was dang cute!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why do they insist on making a mess in the middle of the night?

    We woke up around 3 in the morning to the horrible ominous sound of Maya hacking and we b a r e l y got her off the bed in time for her to puke on the hardwood floor. Thank GAWD. It was still disgusting to clean up but thank the baby Jesus it wasn't the bed.

    But the only thing you can do is clean it up and give them some lovins because their little tummies are all jacked up and TRY to get back to sleep!

    Gotta love it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You just made me laugh out loud at work. :) You made my day brighter. I hope you get better sleep tonight. Love the video too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ohmygosh that made me laugh out loud!! I will remember that about dogs and butter! So funny!
    Emeline is so adorable! She's going to be crawling for real any day now!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh my goodness, she's so darn cute.
    But GROSS...

    Don't be wishing that crawl to happen too soon though. Before you know it, they turn into the one that mysteriously gets and eats half a stick of butter... :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. All I can say is "ewwwwwwww". Waking up to stuff like that is the worst.

    But that video was too cute. The music totally added to it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. No comment on the dog situation. I will remember that dogs and butter do not mix. However, the crawling video? Awesome! I was thinking that the pants needed to come off.. transition to new video.. no pants! Too cute!

    ReplyDelete
  15. yikes! Hope little MAC is better today. You know those videos of your daughter are dangerous for me! She is so cute and I remember my babe at that age and it makes me baby feverish.
    XO
    Katy

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh GROSS!!!! You poor thing... That's no fun.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I had to wait all day to watch this because I couldn't do it at work. That video is hilarious - she IS close! And OMG about the dog and butter. It's funny now but in the middle of the night I think I would have been screaming at the dog and then waking up the baby. Geez.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh sick nasty!! Poop on the foot is never ever good. There was poop in my bed once ... and it wasn't from Nika. It was from the other creature I sleep with. I'll let you figure that one out ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh. Oh dear. That just made me so happy I don't have a pup at home. Wow. Gross. But um, Eme's adorable!

    ReplyDelete