As in, what people google and it brings them to my site.
Honest to goodness, I was in shock at some of the things I read. A TON having to do with pregnancy (nothing shocking there), but things like:
[These are directly copied from analytics. Trust me. I cannot make this up.]
"33 weeks pregnant blog"
"32 weeks belly feels soooo funny"
"33 weeks pregnant why am I sooooooooo big" (I'm willing to bet the last two are the same person. Just a hunch.)
"Enjoy last days with bump"
"Honey nut cheerios bump" (I don't get it. No. I really, really don't.)
No harm in those, right?
But then there was:
"Saggy belly" (Not proud of that, not gonna lie.)
"Falling Uterus" (Yes. FALLING. I do not ever remember claiming my uterus has fallen. But hey, you never know.)
Then, there were the one's I was all "OHMYGOSH people GOOGLE THAT??? Like, they actually type full paragraphs in google search bars??" No, really. They do. For the record, I will leave spelling mistakes and all in these next few:
"Boy: is yur name google? girl: no, why? boy: coz yu gt everything tat im searching for" (People, apparently search pick up lines....I'm so impressed. This is a new one. I might just use it. AND HOW DID THEY GET TO MY BLOG FROM THIS?? I digress.)
"What has forty teeth but cannot bite but yet not learnt to bite" (I may just google that to find out the answer now.)
"we are truly blessed and sometimes I forget. We must not let the negativity of life bring you down."
"u always drive in the slowest lane no matter how often u change" (umm? k...)
This next one gets me every time:
"It's funny how when your finally happy people try to tear you down. jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. ill have you know im happy and you cant break me so keep on trying" (go ahead. laugh.)
Then there were:
"I hate putting christmas decorations away"
"I love spontaneity and some craziness"
"I can't get luckier to get such good husband" (collective: "awww")
"Kmart cashiers get so annoyed"
"Oh my gosh my cant i find a frikking application online!" (not my spelling mistakes...hers...er, his)
"my baby girl I post pictures everyday" (not surprised by this one)
"snow is coming twitter funny" (huh? Sounds like code for something.)
"Puuuuuuush poo toilet" (this is Declan's favorite)
[Don't judge ME for this next one, please?]
"wet and 18 daddy love it" (oh my gosh, I feel dirty...and I will not share the other dirty ones. Ew.)
"amazing craft room" (why THANK you google)
"gross little banana"
"can being laid back be innate"
"can preteen puppy love last whole life?" (cue deep thoughts)
"eyelash lids need to be moist"
"mom blogger with writers block"
To name a few.
I was amused for a few hours with this yesterday, that's for sure. Have you ever checked your analytics? It's always a good time.
Happy snowy (at least here) Wednesday!