Pages

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Exploding heart syndrome...big news.

I feel like I always have to preface these things with no, I'm not pregnant.

Sorry to disappoint you. But I'm still amidst the whole losing weight thing and am not yet ready to put the weight back on to grow a human at this time. I need some time, thankyouverymuch.

Now that we got that out of the way, there still are some big things going on around here. Big, big things in our world.

Last Friday, I resigned from my teaching job

Gasp. 

I'll be staying at home permanently with Emeline and that? Gives me the biggest sigh of relief you can even imagine. 

I can't even begin to calculate the number of hours and hours I walked around, sporting puffy, red, swollen, cried-too-many-tears eyes this past year, agonizing over going back. Because for me? I've always desired to stay home if we could make it work. It really is something I love, and feels like the best choice for our family, personally.

And after getting the chance to stay home for an entire year with her (which was/is a huge!huge!blessing), it felt nearly impossible to go back to work full time.  It pained my heart every time. A task as simple as looking into daycare options for her would send me into a flood of tears, and the whole gasping-for-breath type ugly cry. 

It was bad.

The whole time, my husband asked me to be patient. To be praying. He was confident that something, anything, would work out to make this happen. He didn't have the answers, but he did know how to calm his crazywife down. 

This was a decision we made very recently, which took a whole lot of thought, planning, and doing the whole running-through-scenarios thing. So I haven't been holding out on you or anything. 

I will be doing some work from home. I don't think right now is the time or place to talk about all of that but I will eventually tell you more. But, it'll be a juggling act I'll need to figure out a system for.

The good news is though? I'll still be home. I'm still going to be with her. My heart feels full. Like it could explode with gratitude and happiness and mushy-gushy love all at the same time. I'm excited. So thrilled. Beyond thankful. Feeling blessed.

I also want to acknowledge that many of you have commented, emailed me, tweeted me, etc asking about my situation for next year and if I was going back to work. Many of you? I couldn't answer. I just couldn't. Because at the time, I didn't have an answer. And writing out emails and replying to comments multiple times a week saying that I had to return to work (up until the last few weeks, I thought I did), sucked. So I apologize if any of you felt ignored. It wasn't my intent, it was just kind of a hard topic to talk about at the time. 

So, yea. That's the news. I'll be home with my girl.


How am I feeling about resigning from a career in which I only technically worked for three years? (The last year I was on maternity leave.) A-okay. I'm good with it. 

This is a new season of my life. I liked teaching, a lot. But I love being with my daughter. I honestly wish a part time option was available. I think for me, that might be the best of both worlds. But alas, it doesn't exist. But, when I brought in my resignation letters, everyone was so nice to me. So nice. 

All they could talk about was how happy I looked, and duh this was the right decision for our family. It was an honor to teach there. I'll always identify myself as a teacher. Always.

To a new chapter...
 

65 comments:

  1. Congrats, that's awesome! I'm hoping something part-time will open up for me next year.

    Enjoy this time with your daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so excited for you that your heart is full to the max. I am sure the students will miss you, but I understand about the desire to want to stay home with your daughter. I also want to say that this picture of you 2 is beautiful!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congrats!! I was kind of wondering why you hadn't talked about this before. I assumed it was because the mere thought of leaving your girl was breaking your heart. Being a working mom is tough and it's definitly not for everyone. I'm so glad you were able to make it work for you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congrats! I understand why you're thrilled, leaving that little sweetheart at home would kill just about anyone!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know I am so so so thrilled for you. I am so grateful that God answered your prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thats great!!! And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't totally jealous !

    ReplyDelete
  7. that's awesome! to be honest, i was wondering if you would go back, after spending this first year with her (as if i 'know' you well enough to question this ... whatevs)

    honestly, i think it's the best decision for both of you and i am so happy you are able to work it that way. because you know what, ive spent the last week back at work - and.it.sucks. big time.

    i watch her silly little youtube video while im alone at work and cry because i want to be home with her. and unfortunately for us, there is no way of surviving on just one income.

    you are incredibly blessed to be able to gift E with the best gift ... you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Found your blog through a friend.

    Hooray for getting to do what you want to do! I'm a SAHM and I love it. Trying at times and there are definitely some long days... but for me, I've never liked working sooo haha.

    So happy that you are able to make it work since that is what you really want. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's exciting! Can't wait to hear what you'll be doing working from home. I need to be able to do the same!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesome, I bet you feel so much better. Like a weight has been lifted off of you. You know what is right for you and your family. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and Emeline. Hooray!

    ReplyDelete
  12. YAY!!! Congratulations:) That is SO wonderful that you will be able to stay home with your little girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats! I often wonder what we'll be able to afford and what I will be able to handle/juggle when it's our time to have babies. Being a SAHM mom is a big sacrifice & not an easy job... you go girl!

    I freaking LOVE her toes in those little sandals!

    ReplyDelete
  14. That is great news!! Congratulations!! So happy for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yay for being able to stay home with E and not have to dread going to work everyday! The best job I have ever had was being a SAHM!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yay!! That's so great Katie!! I know that was a HUGE prayer answered for your little family!

    ReplyDelete
  17. So happy that you found a way to make it work, Katie! Congrats to your whole family. I know when Mama's happy everyone is happy!

    ReplyDelete
  18. That's great! I was wondering what you were doing next year, but I didn't want to ask!

    ReplyDelete
  19. SO SO SO happy for you! Please pray that Jason and I will be able to work out the same situation in the coming months!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulations! :) What a blessing!

    ReplyDelete
  21. i normally don.t leave comments, but gosh, i have to today!
    1. haha. every blog i read and has as its author a mommy, and that said mommy says she has big news, well, the mommy HAS to begin by telling she is not pregnant. and i thought, aww, katie balla is in the "gang" now. so cute. [[yeah, a gang. i.m that creative with labeling the bloggers i read. i know, creative!]]

    2. so, so, so, sooo over-the-moon-and-back-and-repeat-the-action-three-times happy for you and you family! :) You are made, telling you, MADE to be a mom. your little girl is lucky to have you as a mom. I am always so glad to see mommies put their family first, as in, take them into consideration first.

    that being said [i don.t normally comment cause i have a lot to say. with bullet points and numbers. gosh, Ioana!:| but when i do comment, the gates of word-dom open. see?], happy family-ing!


    Ioana

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am so excited for you! I can only hope that I end up in the same position. It's such a blessing when you can afford to do so these days. I'm glad you were able to do what felt right!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Katie,that is soo great! I agree staying home with your babies is such a blessing! My little guy is three wks old today and I feel so honored and blessed to be able to be with him all day. It may be hard (exhausting!!) but oh, so worth it! Congratulations! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. What wonderful news!!! So happy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  25. O katie.. I am beyond thrilled for you, I know how tough of a decision that was to make.. we had to do it, and many tears were shed.. I am however returning to a few shifts a month starting next month.. it will just work out better that way.

    I am so thankful that God has given you the desire of your heart!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Congratulations and what a relief for you and your family!! It was so hard for me to go back to work after maternity leave and with time it has gotten much better, but I often wish I could be with her all day every day. Enjoy your time with her!

    ReplyDelete
  27. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

    Congrats!!!!

    I didn't email/comment that question, but I was wondering. I just had a feeling that this post would be coming soon :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Good for you! Working from home with a toddler is tough but very doable ( I speak from experience).

    ReplyDelete
  29. I wondered what you were doing!! I knew you would tell us when you were ready though :)
    I'm so happy for you and am so glad that you have this opportunity! You can ALWAYS go back to teaching later in life when your kids are grown and in school. They (I say they cause you know you'll have more! ;) will benefit so much from having a mom like you home with them everyday!
    Congrats to you both! :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!! I know this has been on your heart for a very, very long time. So glad it has worked out like this!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ahhhh....BLESS YOU!!!! You make me being a SAHM feel like it's totally WORTH the time I am spending w/ my babies (which it IS)...but that guilt-like feeling in the back of my mind w/ me THINKING that I need to contribute to my family's income. KWIM?

    ANYWAY.....I thank you SO MUCH!!!! Being a SAHM....GREASTEST FEELING EVER!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Congrats very exciting news!

    ReplyDelete
  33. So exciting for you! I totally feel you about having to preface every surprise with "I'm NOT pregnant", and also with the dynamic of the husband saying "It'll work out".

    For us personally, we both prayed about it a ton and felt like I was being called to stay home even though it didn't make sense on paper. Taking that leap of faith with God was the best thing I've done for my relationship with God in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I knew it!!!! This is awesome :) My dad was a part time stay at home dad and now to this day I treasure the times we had together. And I know eme will too.

    ReplyDelete
  35. congrats on starting this new chapter of your life :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh, girl, i am so so excited for you! That is my DREAM to be able to stay at home once we start a family! And honestly - right now, it looks impossible. But we are praying & hoping that God will give us wisdom & the finances necessary to make it work. These kind of stories encourage me so much! :)

    YAY!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Congratulations!!! Being a SAHM rocks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. That's great news!

    Once you feel able to share more, I'd love if you would write about figuring out a schedule and being able to balance work and kid at home.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm just so glad you don't have to cry about it anymore and I'm so glad you'll be home with her. Congrats. and? YAY!!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  40. Truly Happy for you and the family!
    I'm sure it has not been the easiest decision, but sure it has been the best one.
    Wish you tons of blessings on this new chapter!
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  41. Congratulations! I know you have been having a hard time thinking about having to go back to work. I am so happy that it worked out that you are able to stay home and get to enjoy your baby girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Congrats that is awesome news!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Katie that is wonderful news! So happy for you, like so so happy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wonderful news! Congrats and I know you will enjoy it!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Congrats! Enjoy time with your little girl. You won't regret it and teacher will always be there. :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. So glad you will be able to stay home with your baby girl! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Wonderful news, sweet girl! I don't think you can ever go wrong when you follow your heart like that. Life is too, too short to not do what you really want with it. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am so excited for you! I believe in living a life of happiness! I am glad you have found what your heart truly desires! Emeline is blessed to have a mother like you stay at home with her and watch her grow! This is truly great news! Congratulations Katie. I will be praying for you and your family so that God may guide you all the way :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. I had a feeling this might be coming. I can't imagine you putting E into daycare and leaving her every day. You're such a good mom and that comes through my computer screen each and every time you post. I'm glad you're able to stay home with her for good now!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yay! I'm so excited (and extremely jealous) for you! That's the happiest news ever!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you, I know this had been weighing on your mind!

    (P.S. Love the new look of the blog!)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Congrats, that is so awesome!! I'm very jealous, we don't have the funds, tear. I love that picture of you two, adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Congrats girlie!! I'd been hoping thats what your announcement was going to be. I knew you wouldn't like leaving your little precious every day.

    I'm so happy for you guys!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  54. You are so brave for doing what you did. I am wishing you nothing but happiness in the months to come!

    ReplyDelete
  55. I have to admit it--I'm JEALOUS. The closer I get to meeting this baby, the more sure I am that I wish I could just stay home with her. That's just not in the cards for us right now. I probably WILL drop down to a 4-day work week, but still, what I wouldn't give to be with her ALL days. At least B will be with her a lot during the week, so no daycare. Still though, I wish it could be me. Super happy for you, sweetie!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Oh, I just want to cry of happiness for you! There is nothing like staying at home with your baby. I, too, have been at home for 15 months and the thought of going back to work literally makes me sick. I'm anxious to hear what you are doing from home...I need to do something too.

    Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
  57. That's really exciting! I'm so glad that you're able to do what you love and love what you do! Emeline is one lucky girl =)

    ReplyDelete
  58. YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!! Every time you'd talk about going back (and be sad about it), my heart would just ache for you. I could tell how badly you wanted to stay home. Congrats!!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. this is my biggest dream, to stay home with my J.

    im so so elated for you. :]

    ReplyDelete
  60. Congrats on your dream of staying home coming true! I have been able to be a SAHM mom since my oldest was born almost 12 yrs ago and I love it! I am very excited for you!!!! God is good all the time to provide our desires if we just be patient on Him:-) Can't wait to hear more about your work from home options too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  61. So happy for you! I haven't regretted staying home with my baby girl for one single moment.

    The way I look at it, "other" people's kids will always be there (I was a social worker) - but I only have a few short years with MINE. :)

    ReplyDelete
  62. Congrats on your decision! I too only taught for a few years and then quit to stay home. My daughter is 6 now and I still have no plans to go back. It's hard (as you know) staying home but TOTALLY worth it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. Good luck on your new adventure! You will love it!

    ReplyDelete