You put on a new hat depending on the situation you're in. It doesn't mean you change as a person, it's just that, with that hat--your focus changes.
You know, I have my wife hat. The one that I wear virtually all the time, but I can wear almost solely when I'm out, alone, on rare occasion with my husband. Or in those late night pillow talk moments when there are no distractions. When I can be all-wife. You know, like on this trip we've booked? (Yes! We booked it! Yay!) That'll be mainly my wife hat.
I like that hat a lot. But, it gets gradually more intense and takes a lot more work when you add in the dynamics of a mom hat. You know, your mom hat is demanding. A little more shabby and less glamorous. While I adore it, it's intense, and time consuming (and I only have 1 kid), and truthfully? You basically can never take your mom hat off.
Then, if you work--either outside of the home or you work at home, you've got your work hat on, too. Maybe it's the business-professional hat, maybe you have to roll with the big guys, or talk corporate-type talk. Maybe you teach kids, and you have your teacher hat on. And heck, as a teacher I know personally that can also involve a counselor-type-hat, then your colleague-to-colleague type hat....oh how the list goes on and on.
I also do some things for my church...some secretarial-type-things...entering information, sending weekly emails, keeping up with new member information, helping with the service schedule's, and leading small groups. So, add that hat in with all the other ones.
How about your sister-hat, daughter-hat, your homeowner (and the issues that come with it) hat, and maybe your friend-hat, auntie-hat, etc..etc...
Sometimes? I feel like a circus-act. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. It's like the clown, you know...on a unicycle, balancing multiple hats on his head--trying to keep them all in tact. Quite the visual, I know. But it's true.
The problem is, with all these hats--I just feel sometimes that I cannot wear any of them right. Or give them all the appropriate amount of time, and care they all need. I fail. Over and over again.
Sometimes I fail my friends. Sometimes I fail my own family. Sometimes? I fail my husband and I'm a sucky wife.
Trust me when I say this...this is not a pity party. It's just a reminder. Life is a juggling act--you add something more to your list, throw in curveballs of stressful family situations, or health-issues, or the unexpected-life-scenarios that just...happen....and it seems something goes by the wayside. It's really hard to be 100% in every area.
And this is my personal reminder that it's okay.
Life is about balance. It is. But your real friends will understand that and extend grace when you let them down. So will your family. Your husband will probably even forgive you when you've had a bad day and treated him poorly. And the people that matter and love you will keep on walking with you. Because, after all--we all have our own hat-wearing we do, and we all mess it up sometimes.
Today I'm reminded of that.