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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A little bit of perspective.

My amazing friend, Jess from Dude & Sweeties is kicking off my little series of guest posts. She is a momma to four beautiful kids, a writer, photographer and an awesome friend to me. We've been blogging together for a while. Her take on motherhood is so great, and she is my go-to momma for advice. I hope you enjoy her post today. Thank you, Jess!

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Recently I was reading a blog where a young, recently married woman asked her readers their thoughts on having kids. She just couldn’t figure out if she even wanted to have kids, because so many of us moms talk about how hard it is. How frustrating. How awful things can be. That the mommysphere is one big gripe-fest, and WHY would people have kids if it’s so horrible.

She was right. We do complain a lot. And we’re justified, completely and totally. Many of us moms have little voice about motherhood outside our own heads. We work, or stay home, and our day to day insanity doesn’t leave much room for proper processing of the day’s difficulties. So we blog, and we tweet, and we terrify not-yet-moms everywhere.

As a mother of four, I’ll be the first to admit that getting puke down my shirt at 3am isn’t much fun. And anyone who knows me at all knows I don’t hesitate to discuss the gripes, the struggles, and the difficulties of each day. Because they’re real. They’re a part of my life, and I need the outlet blogging provides me.

But there’s a piece that gets forgotten. A part of each day that is beyond description.

The part where I wouldn’t change a thing about being a mom. The part where I talk about how much I adore my children, how awesome motherhood is.

Being a mom is absolutely the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.

My children are perfection. A product of a single moment in time, individual miracles of personality, and character, and genes. They’re flawed, and silly, and beautiful, and they’re MINE. I love each part of their little selves, from my oldest’s incessant talking to my son’s Lego cities taking up space in my kitchen. I love my 18 month old’s laugh, and the infants smelly feet. I love how their faces look when they cry, the sounds their voices make in the darkness of night when they cry out for me.

I love when my son gets sick in the middle of the night. He’s the sweetest sick kid, and he’ll lay on the couch all snuggled up to me, quiet and sad, and we’ll watch Tom and Jerry together until he falls back to sleep. He tells me “thank you” for wiping his face with a cool cloth after he throws up.

I love when my oldest (she’s 7) goes to the grocery store alone with me, and chatters nonstop the entire way about absolute nonsense. It’s important nonsense because its hers, and I listen to what she says, and talk with her about all the nonsense that makes up her very small world. When she’s a big sister to the babies, and I hear her playing with them in the other room, my heart melts. When she gets in trouble and instead of taking her punishment she tries to negotiate her way out of it, I can’t help but be proud at her absolute unwillingness to back down. At her quick thinking to look for loopholes.

I love when the babies stare at each other. When my 18 month old gets sad and her lip sticks out. When she throws her food on the floor, and then laughs, it makes me laugh.

I love the quiet moments at 2am when my 3 month old coos and burbles instead of sleeping, because I know soon she’ll be playing with toys instead of my face.

Laundry piles up with four kids, and while I hate doing it, I sometimes find myself smiling at all the different sized clothes. Knowing that soon, they’ll all be in their own baskets rather than mixed in with my husband’s work clothes.

Last night, everyone was a mess. The babies are sick, and the bigger kids are getting sick. My living room floor is covered in baby toys, a play mat, wipes packages and Legos and pillows. And everyone was whining and being grumpy, all at the same time. Gabe was throwing himself on the floor about having to brush his teeth, Cassidy was yelling at him about some toy of hers he’d messed up, Livie (my 18 month old) was grunting and moaning about some toy that was just out of her reach, and Maddie (the infant) was screaming her head off because she had a fever and wanted to be held.

And I laughed. I looked at my husband, and we exchanged that look that parents reserve for each other, that look that says “this is complete insanity, isn’t it?”, and “Yeah, it is but isn’t it awesome?”, because we love this parenting thing.

We love every part of it, even when we don’t like it.

Being a parent is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.

22 comments:

  1. Your posts always make me smile, Jess! (And this one even had me teary eyed! lol)

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  2. This post is so beautiful, so honest, and SO Jess. Jess, your kids are so, so, so lucky to have you.

    And I have to follow this post? Yikes.

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  3. I was teary reading this post too. It's so true! Even though it sometimes sucks having that puke down my shirt, I really wouldn't want it any other way. =) Great post Jess!

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  4. I concur.

    There isn't a day that goes by (even the hard days) that I don't thank God for my bambinos.

    Alita

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  5. This is great! In all the madness, it is by far the greatest thing!

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  6. Thanks for letting me hijack your blog, Katie!

    And thank you all for your sweet comments. Katie's nicer than I am so I figured a departure from my usual snark was in order for posting here.

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  7. Love this post Jess!! It really captures how us moms feel. Overwhelmed and struggling to raise these little ones, but completely overwhelmed with love for the miracle they are!

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  8. Well said Jess and oh so true. The joys outweigh all of the little things we often gripe about. Parenthood is amazing and oh so rewarding.

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  9. You are so right, Jess. It's so easy for me to want to always talk about the bad stuff, and I kinda forget to talk about the good stuff with having kids. 'cause there's LOTS of good stuff. Way more than bad. Love our kids : )

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  10. Oh yes. Me and B have exchanged that look plenty of times. This post made me smile. I may have to bookmark it for later.

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  11. Such a good reminder. I am one of those soon to be new mom, and I am really nervous- because i know that it is going to be hard- but it's good to know the good moments make the bad ones worth it. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. I LOVE this! Thanks for reassuring me that parenthood is fantastic despite all the hard times! I'm your newest follower!

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  13. It is the greatest job I've ever had!

    Motherhood is definitely something hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through it yet.

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  14. Motherhood definitly has it's up and downs. But luckily the highs make it all worth it!

    I love this. :)

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  15. I love this post. It even made me a little teary. I can't wait to be a mom. Really can't wait - since my due date is in two days.

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  16. Jess, thanks for writing this. My husband and I recently starting trying to have children so it's great to hear seasoned moms describe the good that comes with the challenging. Much appreciated.

    Sarah

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  17. So needed this post today! He drives me bonkers sometimes but he is such a miracle!

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