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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Soft Pretzel Snatcher

It's no secret that one of the things that I can handle eating while sick and pregnant are soft pretzels. I was the same way with Emeline. For months and months I'd bring a frozen SuperPretzel to work for lunch every single day. Heat it in the microwave. And eat it happily.

It never got old.

I often stopped for an Auntie Anne's pretzel when at the mall or our local Walmart. (Yep, our Walmart has an Auntie Anne's. Weird? Maybe. But delicious.)

I'm guessing it has something to do with being carbs. And bready. And felt good on my stomach when I'm so nauseous all the time while pregnant.

Either way, I love me some soft pretzels, and this pregnancy is no different.

I've been stopping at the mall at least 1x a week for said pretzel, and, you know, to let my kid run around on the playground & such since it's been so cold lately. I may or may not stop for a smoothie, too.

The other day, I was giddy about my pretzel sticks. I had gotten myself & Eme inside the mall. Was pushing her along in her stroller. Got to Auntie Anne's. Ordered up my delicious pretzel sticks and cheese (what? I didn't mention the fake-cheese craving, too?), then went over to the little bar thing to get some napkins and a straw.

I remember setting my bag full of yummy goodness down on that counter and thinking Don't you dare forget that bag, woman! Before you know it, I had situated my drink in the stroller, gotten Emeline a bite of my pretzel (yes, I share with my daughter. I have a heart, y'all) and off I went.

WITHOUT MY PRETZEL BAG.

I went an entire mall "block" (if you know what I mean), before realizing that I had situated my drink and all, but THE PRETZEL BAG WAS MISSING.

***CUE HORROR FILM MUSIC***

I literally panicked. Cravings are LEGIT for me, and the thought of losing those beloved pretzel sticks made my pregnant heart sad.

So I did what anyone would do, and I turned the heck around faster than you could say the word and started booking it back to the Auntie Anne's store. I mean, it's a fairly dead weekday afternoon at the mall, they'll still be there.

I finally get to where I am in eye-line with The Bag. I see them sitting there. And THEN? I see a group of teenagers start hovering around MY BAG OF PRETZELS.

One boy even has the nerve to peek his face in the bag (without touching), and they are all giving each other the look of Let's just take it and run!

My insides were on fiyah by this point. I NEEDED THOSE PRETZELS and gosh darn it, those kids were NOT gonna take what was rightfully mine, yo.

So then I did it. I did what would have HORRIFIED me if my mother had ever done. What would have horrified me if I had witnessed anyone else doing.

I shouted, "HEY! Those are mine!" and was all don't you even think about it in my tone.

*hangs head in shame*

I made sure to give them a smile and thank them for taking care of my bag of pretzels for me. I almost started word vomiting about being pregnant and how horrible of a thing to take away a pregnant woman's cravings. But I didn't.

I did, however, get my pretzels back. Fully in tact. And fully delicious.

39 comments:

  1. hahahahahaha! I would've totally word vomited about being pregnant and about NEEDING those pretzels. I probably would've also said, "If you don't want me to puke all over you, step away from the bag"... or something equally horrendous. Pregnancy makes us do strange things... =)

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  2. Hysterical...really! I know what you mean about those "need it NOW" pregnancy cravings! Good thing those kids didnt eat your pretzels or they would have had to face one angry pregnant woman!!!

    ~Laura

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  3. This is the BEST post ever! I'm literally giggling at my desk at work and people are looking at me!

    But I know, don't mess with a pregnant momma and her cravings! My husband learned that quickly too! :)

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  4. Seriously hilarious! I would have done the same thing. Pregnant or not;o) Cravings are legit!

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  5. SO FREAKING FUNNY!!!!!! I'm cracking up! I'm glad you got your pretzels!

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  6. OMG hilarious! Pregnant times call for pregnant measures!

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  7. Agreed with Shannon! You have me chuckling over here. And, for the record, I totally would have word vomited all over them. Good for you for not doing that!

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  8. Pretzels are worth fighting for. Have you had pretzel bites? even better.

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  9. I cried in the middle of a restaurant when I found out they were all out of mac and cheese. I had been dreaming about it for dayyyyyyyyyyyyys. (Funny how after I finally badgered someone into making it homemade for me and ate it, the thought of eating it again made me want to throw up.)

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  10. BAAAAHAHAHAHAA omg that is amazing and hilarious.

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  11. haha that is hilarious. how am i just now hearing this story? and yeah, you totally would have died if mom did that. good thing eme's too young to care! lol

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  12. This was hilarious! Totally would have down the same, so good job. Now I want a soft pretzel...

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  13. LOL! Oh, girl, this reminds me of me! I would literally take food out of my husband's hand - with a toddler-like MINE! - when I could eat it. Without shame, too. Pregnant girls gotta eat.

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  14. Lol! Made me laugh. I can almost picture you doing that. :) Nothing to be ashamed about--you NEEDED those and they were yours! Glad you got them back :)

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  15. This story is even better the second time around. Love it, girlfriend. I'm going to come visit this weekend and make you a gigantic batch of homemade soft pretzels. I'll put Aunt Annie to shame.

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  16. I want a pretzel now. I haven't had a soft pretzel in years. Hmmmm nom nom nom. Must get one now.

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  17. Ha ha that is so funny. I love auntie annes pretzels, they are so good. I probably would have done the same thing.

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  18. LOL you are a braver woman than me. I probably would have cried and then proceeded to buy another bag rather than yell. Because I'm a biiiiig chicken.

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  19. Cravings are serious business. I might not have said that to the kids because I'm always worried about confrontation but I would have run up and grabbed it!

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  20. hahah that's hysterical. such a "mom" moment - putting those teens in their place. lol.

    also, i kinda cringed when you said you microwaved the soft pretzels? can they possibly taste just as good as oven baked?

    and SPEAKING of oven baked ... have you baked bacon yet?!

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  21. So funny!!! I totally would've done the same thing.

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  22. Whew! I'm so relieved!!! :)

    And I know what you mean about the carbs I was the SAME way! Bread (and ice cream and cookies) was totally my friend every time I was with child!

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  23. HAHAHAHA.
    I would've LOVED to have heard those kids' conversation after they walked away. LOL. Too funny! Don't mess with a pregnant woman's cravings.

    ps. I was all about some carbs too. Anything remotely healthy sounded gross to me. lol. Figures.

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  24. LOL, this cracks me up! It's SO TRUE, though! Cravings are no joke!

    And I could really go for a pretzel now... :)

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  25. Mmmm, pretzels. You know I share your love of them, pregnant or not.

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  26. Ummm my favorite story of the day, hilarious!

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  27. Ummm my favorite story of the day, hilarious!

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  28. I'm jealous that your walmart has an Auntie Anne's! I might enjoy our walmart more if we had one!

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  29. Irish@lovesoflife....Best post I read today. So enjoyful. I think we all have one of these moments. Thanks for making me smile today. = )

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  30. Carbs and fake cheese are still on my craving list... and I don't have the excuse of being sick. I would have done the same thing, I'm so glad you got your pretzles back :)

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  31. Just in the nick of time....glad you got your pretzels back. Don't mess with a girl and her cravings

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  32. No one can ever accuse you of not keeping it real, is all I'm saying. :)

    anywhere-is.net

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  33. ok, I just cracked up laughing and now I want a pretzel.

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  34. LOVE IT! :)
    I totally would have done the same thing!

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  35. Haha that is too funny! I thought you were going to catch them eating out of your bag.

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  36. hahaha that was awesome! i soooo would have yelled that too.

    i have cravings and food needs so badly that when i'm preg hubs can't sample my food when we go out...i literally will cry at the table ...it's like i can feel a tantrum coming on ..."it's my food...my food...how dare you touch it...now we need to order more" i try to control those feelings...but there aint no stopping a preg chick near food

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