There are so many thoughts swirling around in this brain of mine right now. Honestly, I have a headache because I think my head is so full of stuff. That may sound crazy, but I think it's true.
You see, this past Sunday my Pastors were talking about the season of Lent. I did not grow up in any type of denomination or church that really talked much about Lent. But I love and appreciate that as an adult, this is something I can partake in, knowing that it's a season of really pressing in and focusing on what Christ did for us when he died on the cross.
I believe in fasting. I've been a part of many different fasts throughout my lifetime. Seasons where, as a Church we all fasted the same thing(s) together. Sometimes they were personal, just me. Particular foods. Maybe entire meals. Liquid only fasts. TV fasts. Things of that nature. And most definitely (most) not all surrounding Lent, either.
Last year I gave up Facebook. In the grand scheme of things, it was no big deal.
This year, after my Pastor talked again on Sunday about this---I finally felt the urge & pressing on my heart that I was supposed to give up Twitter. In fact, right then I deleted the app from my phone.
I don't want to go into details about any of this, because this is not a woe-is-me, complaining-thing, AT ALL. In fact, because I know how hard this has been for me (don't laugh) for only the past two days, it goes to show me this was, indeed the right move.
I realized after only two days, how very little I actually process through thoughts before I was just tweeting them. How little I actually had to sit and dwell on things before I could just get them out. I realized how attached I am to certain friendships with people and that I miss just connecting with them on a daily basis. And I may even realize how real (or not real) any of those friendships were. But most of all, although I denied it up and down...I realized it was taking up some valuable time of mine. Time that I owe to God, my family, my work, my friends...and heck, myself.
I felt sad yesterday. Just an overall (stupid) sadness. I had a headache the entire day. A massive, horrible, headache that I swear is from all the tweets stuck up in my head that couldn't be tweeted. But, really--this is so good for me.
So that's where I'm at so far with all this. It's not something I'll talk about often, if at all--however, I'm sure hoping that this time of kind of quieting my brain, focusing in & up, will sure to bring me some clarity in areas of my life, and of course, insight & revelation, self-reflection, all that good stuff.
That's what I'm praying for, anyway.