We're sitting here at the kitchen table, laptops out, coffee in hand, remnants of breakfast lying everywhere. I say everywhere because with a toddler (my toddler), it's true.
She throws things. Bits of muffin to the left of me. Chewed up grapes to the right of me.
Just a few minutes ago I looked over to see her entire peanut butter toast stuck to her arm like paste, and a little pixie voice saying, "Uh Oh Mommy, Uh oh!", while licking off any remnants of PB left on her fingers, and cradling a quarter-eaten-apple in her armpit.
Needless to say, mealtimes are still an issue around here. But that's not the point of this post. I don't really even know the point. I just wanted to write.
There's a halfway-floating-through-the-air Dora "bloon" in the living room. If you saw The Office this week, you know exactly what I mean. It's doing that exact thing. Emeline's toys are strewn about the living room. Last nights snack-wrappers are still hanging out on the couch, because we're awesome like that. And the basement? Well, that's looked like a laundry room for the past week, yep-since last Sunday. We've been doing that thing where you run down 2 flights of steps just to get the clean item of clothing you need because everything's not quite ready to come up yet. Or? We just have been too busy slash lazy to deal with it.
All that to say-we're back to living again. We took the house off the market and I couldn't be happier about it.
We tried. We saw. We finally felt the nudging to just rest again and wait. Peace is my gauge. My husband's, too. We felt at peace with the decision to just stay. Reside here for another year or two and then try again. We have a lot of big transitions coming up. Emeline needs to move to a big girl room, the nursery needs to be a little updated, she's going to have a little sister, she needs to begin seriously potty training, we have a big trip planned in May, and we need to just stop. Focus on those things. Enjoy this time and not stress about it.
Because the truth is we are okay here. We have the space. And when the time is right we'll move to wherever we feel is right for us. For now, it's to stay.
I'm okay with that. Totally okay. In fact, I feel really good about it.
And it feels kind of nice again to leave my bra & undies hanging around again. I mean...
It's okay to stop. It wasn't a fail. I don't feel like it was a fail, at all. In fact, I feel like it was a learning experience.
I'm glad to be home again, in my mind anyway.