Thursday, April 26, 2012

A letter to my future "I want a 3rd baby"-self.

I wasn't going to post this. It was kind of a joke... something I always say to my husband to "video me while I feel awful to show me next time I say I want to get pregnant" (yes I really said that...yep, he refused to video tape me). I'd contemplated even posting it because it's kind of...personal? Obviously a little tongue in cheek. But, after last night of absolute torture with hours of heartburn (seriously, I had no idea how painful heartburn could be until this baby), resulting in lots of lost sleep, having to cancel out of swim class, and still having lingering pain this morning? What the heck, I say. Here it goes.

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Dear Crazy Katie,

So you're thinking about having another baby, huh? Interesting. This is a big life decision. So let me just remind you of a few things, you know, since right now, as I'm writing this, PREGNANT with baby #2--it's all fresh on my mind.

Right now, you likely are out of the cute baby phase with that little lady #2. You are missing the newborn smell. You are craving tiny tootsie toes back in your life. You want to feel those sweet little kicks inside you again. People are giving you that questionable look, 'Are you gonna try for the boy?' Trust me, you know The One. 

You are feeling that little nudge. The one that makes you want to pee on sticks and become a neurotic obsessed woman. Who is back to keeping track of cycles. Dates. The state of your private parts. Every tweak & twinge you feel. You're ready to over-analyze. Bring.It.On. Right? Wrong. 

I just feel it's my duty to remind you of the realities of pregnancy for you. Since, you know...you tend to FORGET. Don't forget that as soon as that little positive comes up on that test? You have a few days of peace and happiness and "yay I'm pregnant!" and THEN, you start puking your brains out. You feel like death. All day long. Literally, as if you have the god-forsaken-BIRD-FLU. It's hard to parent your (one) child (let alone the TWO you will have) being so ill all the time. Oh, and I don't even need to bring up how hard it is to work while you're vomiting profusely. Just reminding you it's hard. Very, very hard.

That first-trimester-exhaustion? It's no joke. Don't forget how intense the desire to nap is, and how very little you actually get to fulfill said napping desire. With one child it was hard enough...imagine squeezing a nap in with two

Your family might starve. Your desire to cook, touch, or look at food for the first trimester (plus) is overwhelming. Unbearable. The mere act of opening the fridge to feed your children will send you dry-heaving over the sink. Smells alone will set you off. Don't forget the fun little fact that every time you hurl? You also pee your pants a little (okay, sometimes a lot), and it's super embarrassing. And super gross. 

Do I really need to remind you about how severely (to the point of tears, medications galore, and embarrassing phonecalls into the nurse station) you get...um...constipated while knocked up? I would really hate to go there, but feel that it's my duty to just tell you, it's awful. Trust me. 

What about how even typing the word p-i-z-z-a sent you to the toilet?

How often you feel the urge to pee, even if it's just a TRICKLE?

How about the fact you become a crazy lady with a sense of smell that could rival police dogs? You will find yourself searching for something that "stinks" for hours on end, while your husband looks at you cross-eyed because he.can't.smell.it (and thinks you're nuts)?

What about how everyday life moves on, and your kids still need you, daily, all the time, no matter how sick & pregnant and "wahhh I'm growing a human" you want to be? No pregnancy will ever be as relaxing as that first time, with no children to take care of.

Let's also just talk about body image. Even if you've lost a ton of weight, thought you'd look amazing during pregnancy and be "all belly", the truth is? You won't. You'll still get flubby. Your thighs will grow. Your arms won't look as toned. Your face? Yep. You'll still get the dreaded Pregnancy Fat Face. You'll still have dreadful stepping-on-the-scale moments. You'll still have to work your tush off to get healthy and fit again. 

Oh and heartburn. It's not acid-reflux. Don't confuse the two. Heartburn can leave you unable to move. In so much pain that you're in tears. And then? The pain can linger for days. If I had to choose my babies having hair to heartburn? I'd want them to be bald at birth. Just sayin'.

I just feel it's my duty, as your pregnant self, to remind your future 'contemplating another child'-self about all these things that are so fresh on my mind right now, and that honestly? You will FORGET. Because our brains are supposed to forget them. So we have more children.

I never said another child wasn't worth it. They are so worth it. I just want to remind you of what it takes to get there.

You can thank me. Or not. 

Sincerely,
Pregnant, tired, but very happy & excited, Katie.

***

33 comments:

  1. ok, this made me laugh so hard!

    right now i really, really want another baby but i suck at pregnancy. think 14 weeks of bedrest, 5 weeks of hospital bedrest hooked up to magnesium, terbutiline pumps, twice daily lovenox shots, a heart that races all day long, stomach ulcers. its miserable! and yet, i totally want another one! (but my hubby took care of that!)

    you're right. we are supposed to forget. its all worth it. just sometimes hell in the process!

    btw, LOVE your blog :)

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, Lord... I know. When I got pregnant this round people asked, "did you forget what your first pregnancy was like?" and I would just laugh at them. How in the WORLD do you forget 9 miserable months of your life? I mean, really... I'm a pretty smart gal, how could I possibly forget what puking for 9 months feels like? I never, for a second, considered what doing that WITH a toddler would be like... So many times this pregnancy I've looked at Brad and said, "Please, I'm begging you, can we just adopt from here on out?" We laugh, but only because I'm dead serious.

    Sorry about the heartburn. That sounds rough...

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  3. Absolutely love this! That heartburn myth is ridiculous. With the way my pregnancy was, I should've given birth to Rapunzel. Quinn's just now getting hair you can see at almost 8 months.

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  4. I had beyond awful heartburn with both of mine. Like, I-can't-eat-sleep-or-lay-down-heartburn. After two weeks of playing with Tums and then Zantac to appease my doctor, I demanded drugs. Protonix worked miracles! I hope you feel better!

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  5. So cute!! I'm glad you posted.

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  6. ... I begged for something stronger than Tums for heartburn at my appointment this week. I haven't gained a single pound in 3 weeks because I cannot eat anything but ice pops. That bad. It was bad with C. This? Is torture. Whyyyyyyyyyy? I said the same thing to Mike a few weeks ago- remind me how bad the heartburn is when you want another baby. Oof. Great letter.. You think we'll listen to our former selves? lol

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  7. You are freaking hilarious. Thank you for sharing this! I wish I had written a letter like this to myself in the early stages of being pregnant with Oliver because you seriously do forget.

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  8. I give this post two thumbs up! I can relate to the terribleness (is that a word?) even if I am still growing baby #1...

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  9. thanks for the laugh this morning. my heartburn was killer too. the lingering pain would hurt me for days

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  10. Ha!! This made me crack up.

    In all seriousness though, I wonder if you were pregnant with a boy, if your nausea would be different? The little Fit Pregnancy magazine that they gave me at the beginning of the pregnancy had a little article that said that some OB's swear that there's some merit to the old "terrible morning sickness means a girl" wives tale...

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  11. I'm with Meredith. I think you might not have the morning sickness and fat face with a boy. Only one way to test that theory though!

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  12. This had me seriously cracking up! My baby-wanting self definitely needed to read it right now too! Ha!

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  13. That's awesome! Well written :) I'm in the throws of monitoring temps, cycles, body twinges etc..and it is definitely annoying. I may keep this post if/when I think about #3 :)

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  14. THIS was awesome! Thank you so much for posting it. I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately because I have the baby fever, but we're not ready to TTC, just yet, and it seems like EVERYONE around me is pregnant. Thanks for reminding me that although the end product is most definitely worth it, the 9 months leading up to it, can be a pain and this time I'll being doing it while taking care of another little one. I can't wait, but I guess waiting a little longer isn't the worse thing. Oh and with the amount of heartburn I had, Maggie should have come out with more hair than Rapunzel, but that little stinker was balder than a cue ball.

    Hope you feel better!!!! BTW, I put the Maalox in the fridge and I think (especially during the summer) it worked even better!

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  15. Totally dying here. You know I could have written this exact same letter. Just replace a few of the details .. you know, broken vagina bone instead of intense heartburn. Ha. But, I am avoiding writing such letter just so that I DO forget and don't try to talk myself out of baby #3 in a few years. Because, as shitty as it is, I know I want to do it just once more at least ... WHAT KIND OF CRAZY LOON AM I?

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  16. This is hilarious!!! I am glad you posted it!! I wish I would have written a letter to my future "I want a 3rd baby" self because I have caught myself more than a few times saying I want a 3rd. I am definitely crazy! Hope the heartburn hangover ends very soon. Those are miserable!!

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  17. hahaha, seriously i'm dying of laughter! just found your blog and love it! thanks for sharing....loved your honesty and humor! love Katie

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  18. hahahaha. Um THANK YOU. Been getting some severe baby cravings for the last couple months, and even though I know logistically we're not ready yet, this just helped me hold off a little bit longer. lol. This is so great.

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  19. love this post. so real and honest!

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  20. Love this! So funny and so true. I'm betting those baby wishes might blind you to the truth of this though when (or if) the time comes around haha.

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  21. I needed to read this!! Been getting the tiny tootsy urge lately. Thanks for bringing me back down to earth. I'll wait and bide my time and just feel insanely joyously jealous when I see your brand new baby pics :)

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  22. love it... but soo wanting to try for that boy or girl...

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  23. I'm dying right now. Any previous though of me wanting another child just flew right out the window going 70 down the freeway!!! I totes remember the god forsaken heartburn! Chloe came out with a HEAD FULL of hair, and Momma felt it BAD!!! So I would HATE to go through that again. This letter was just tooooo funny, and I'd like to know what goes through your mind when Baby #2 is about 1.5 years of age and you all of a sudden have that pang in your uterous! Let me know!! I can't wait!

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  24. Ha! Right now I'm trying to convince my husband to get a vasectomy so in a year when I get that feeling I won't be able to act on it. Crazy? Yes, but I think it is the right decision.

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  25. Ha! You are so right. Pregnancy is hard work. (But the sweet baby that arrives is so worth it!) I was reminded while reading this that when I'm pregnant, I am never that gorgeous woman who everyone says to her, "Oh! You don't even look pregnant!" My face swells up like the Michelin Man.

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  26. Ha! You are so right. Pregnancy is hard work. (But the sweet baby that arrives is so worth it!) I was reminded while reading this that when I'm pregnant, I am never that gorgeous woman who everyone says to her, "Oh! You don't even look pregnant!" My face swells up like the Michelin Man.

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  27. Adoption??? ;-p

    No seriously, it's rough at times, I know. I thought my feet were going to explode at the end of my pregnancy with K (you know, #3). Like OWWWWW!!!!

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  28. Thank you for the sacrifice, your parents are so happy you did and are. We enjoy every minute with Emeline and are so looking forward to her baby sister.

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  29. The heartburn.....oh the heartburn. I hope yours is like mine and literally disappears the moment the baby comes out. And all the other details you shared had be laughing (er, crying) with you. #neverdoingthatagain

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  30. Man, oh man, you wrote this letter for ME. I have pregnancies like you do. . . puking, peeing, heartburn. . . and here I am, longing for #3. What am I thinking!?!?

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  31. so funny! I'm pregnant with baby #3 right now, have about 5 weeks left. I absolutely NEVER want to get pregnant again! This is not enjoyable... it was fun in the beginning, then I began puking. Then it was fun again with the little kicks, now it's like I'm getting the crap beat out of me from the inside out..... oh yes, this is definitely our last one! lol

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  32. At 39 Weeks 2 days pregnant I'd like to say these past 6 Weeks have been the worst. Completely worth it but being my 2nd pregnancy I definitely know why people stop at 2 kids!

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  33. LOVED IT! My 'very anxious to become a momma' self thanks you for this post. I've missed honest 'Keepin' it real' posts like this.

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