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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Pen & Ink.

Dear Friends having babies like NOW,

I'm so happy for you. So much. But, there's a part of me that's a teeny tiny bit jealous. I know, that's awful. I mean, just that you get to meet your baby now (or soon) and I want to see my babe's sweet face, too. But then a part of me doesn't want it to be my turn just yet...there's still things I have to do, still memories with just my one kid I need to make. But until it's my turn I will just bask in all your sweet newborn photos and enjoy my heartburn, rib-kicks, and inability to bend over. I know, hot.

Signed,
~A billion weeks pregnant, me.


Dear Dr. Pepper (or lack there-of),

You were not worth crying over last night. I blame the hormones. No, really. 

Signed,
~But you would have tasted so good


Dear Eye Teeth From Hell,

For. the. love. Leave my child alone. The endless fevers. The crankiness. The not sleeping well at night. The "owww momma I hurwwt"'s that feel like a sucker punch to my mom heart. I'd like my happy kiddo back, pleaseandthanks.

Nasty devil teeth-you.

Signed,
~The momma bear in me

Dear Baby Belly,

You grew overnight, like whoa.  Suddenly nothing fits in my closet and I'm at the point where I feel like going naked should be totally and completely acceptable.   Except I doubt that's the case. So until then I'll  just look like a sausage in everything. Thanks for that. 

Signed,
~But "it's worth it".

Dear Bethenny Frankel,

I was a big fan. I am still trying to be. I loved your shows. Always have. But your new talkshow? Is making me question everything. Maybe I can only handle you in one-hour-a-week doses. Also, I'm already kind of over your dance moves (lack thereof) during your opening song (and omg I want to gouge my eyeballs out if I hear that song one.more.time).

Signed,
~Am I the only one who feels this way? Also, questioning everything


Dear self,

When  you plan to make spaghetti next time, you should probably be prepared and have bought sauce. Rather then, you know, cooking half the meal, realizing it, and then having to send your just-got-home-from-work husband out to go buy some.

Fail.

Signed,
~As un-domestic as they come.




18 comments:

  1. I love posts like these. Such a fun way to get things off your chest. ;)

    And I *totally* feel the same way you do about Bethanny's new talk show! I'm not into it. At ALL. And normally, I love her. :-/

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  2. Oh my gosh! I feel the same way about Bethenny! I kinda feel like her talk show is way inappropriate for day time! Glad I'm not the only one! :)

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  3. Umm...I'm jealous that you get Bethenny's talk show but maybe I shouldn't be? Also I feel the same way about all the new babies...But hopefully come August/September we'll be joining the parents of two club {or on our way I should say}

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  4. I haven't actually watched her talk show yet but I was kind of all set after her last season of Bethenny Ever After. She's so awful to Jason that it's hard to watch sometimes. She used to be so funny and quirky and I related to her sense of humor but now it's like she just says things for shock value. And she is NO Kathy Griffin!

    Also I have done that spaghetti thing about a zillion times. It forced C to always have at least 3 jars in stock!

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  5. Haha. I love the Bethenny bit. I've never seen her talk show. I really hope it doesn't last. Is that mean? I like her and love her show but she's a bit much sometimes.

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  6. OH no - so sad to hear about Bethenny. Haven't watched it and meant to set the DVR, but haven't remembered to do that yet :)

    I love this post.

    PS - I'm jealous of all the babies too and I'm not even pregnant.

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  7. I feel like I'm missing out in this whole Bethany thing... I feel like she might be trying to become the next Ellen. Let's be honest, no one can be as awesome as her.

    I love this types of posts- I crack up at them. Your posts give me much entertainment, especially Miss E's craziness. It won't be much longer until you get to see the beautiful babe :)

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  8. I'm bummed that Ohio doesn't get Bethenny's show, but you made me feel better about it.

    I hope Eme's teeth come in ASAP so she can feel better.

    LOVED reading all of these little letters!

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  9. I feel the same way about this second pregnancy. I'm SO ready to meet our new little one but time is moving so slow!

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  10. Love these. So sorry about the teeth! Hope they get better soon.

    And now I want a Dr. Pepper, too, and I also can't have one because I gave up HFCS. *pout*

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  11. Love these posts. I'll tell ya what ... I'll hold off having the baby for 6 weeks to ease your jealousy. NOT

    Just rememeber - while you have 6 weeks left after I meet my baby, I had 6 weeks of barfing while you were still unpregnant :)

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  12. I'm so glad to hear an honest review about the Bethenny show. I am not in an area that gets her show, but I felt like I wasn't going to like her every day. She's funny and honest to the point of abrasive, but that every day I felt might be a bit too much.

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  13. I LOVE Bethenny Frankel. But her talk show, it sucks. And I want to like it so bad.

    I find myself being a little embarrassed for her when I watch it.

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  14. I'm with Shannon. Maybe I should be glad I don't get the talk show! Also jealous of the people having babies. You shouldn't feel bad at all about having Declan go get spagehetti sauce. We ALL do it! Cut yourself some slack! Eye teeth coming in and pregnant! He's lucky there was pasta :)

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  15. I must admit....when all you second timers were announcing your pregnancy's I was excited for you, but not even a smidge jealous. Now that the actual babies are coming?? And my instagram feed is overflowing with cute newborn squishiness?? Holy baby fever!

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  16. is it sad that I just had to go google Bethenny Frankel to see what you were talking about. I feel very behind-haha!

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  17. I just love you.

    First off, I'm having some super baby fever and I'm not even PREGNANT! Super jealous of you and all my other faves that are popping out little ones...can't wait til it's my turn!!

    I haven't gotten a chance to watch Bethenny's show yet, but it's just gonna kill me if it's as terrible as I've heard. I love her so much! Maybe she needs a few weeks to get into her groove? Poor thing.

    So proud of you--I haven't told you that in a while. I think you're one of the coolest, most wonderful moms I know, and I hope that when I have kids and am juggling a house, husband, toddler, and pregnancy, that I do it with half as much grace and beauty as you do! You make it look effortless. Those girls sure are lucky to have a momma like you!

    Can't wait to meet that little one...how much time is left?! Praying for you and sending hugs your way!

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  18. I forget half my meal ingredients all the time. My hubs is a pro at those last minute grocery runs!

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