Warning: There might be whining ahead.
I'm feeling very pregnant these days. I know, it's about time as I'll be 32 weeks this weekend. I'm at the point where certain tasks (like flipping over in the middle of the night) are super annoying and I swear there needs to be a bed pulley system invented for very pregnant women who are a million weeks along like me.
Even though bending over and picking up toys completely makes me feel like all circulation is cut-off, and I may have to hold my breath while doing so? I guess I feel generally pretty good for being so pregnant. I can still bend over and paint my toes, put my shoes on, play with my kid, and am told that I "look small" often (although I tend to just carry kind of small'ish thanks to my long torso). I mean, I still have two whole months. Sometimes that feels like an eternity, and sometimes it feels like it'll be here in a flash.
I went back through some posts from my last pregnancy yesterday and basically I discovered that I do feel a whole lot better this pregnancy than my last (as I was complaining about things like bending over much earlier, and swelling, etc) I don't want to be naive and attribue that all to weight loss, though--but it definitely could be part of the reason. The other blaring obvious difference is that I was teaching, on my feet for most the day, with hundreds of children hanging around me, on a rigid schedule traveling between schools--and so, of course I was beat by the afternoon and going to bed early. Oh, and swelling.
So while I am having to be out and about, at the parks, chasing (literally) a run-away toddler (who is FAST by the way), it's not the same level and intensity of working full time outside of the home (at a job like teaching elementary kids), in my opinion. So I'm not really surprised that I feel better this time, despite the weight loss.
I made the mistake of scrolling through my iPhone pics two nights ago. I was lying in bed, shoving my phone in my husbands face saying things like, "Oh my gosh, look at how skinny I was. Will I ever see that again?" and having serious moments of panic and maybe even a few shed tears (hormones for me kick in something major at this time, fyi). It's hard for me, I'm not gonna lie. That part of pregnancy. Giving up your body. Because sometimes, no matter what you do, your thighs and tush STILL grow. Your arms get a little flubby. And your face gets thicker.
I was sharing my pregnancy weight woes with my friend Kristen who is just 6 weeks behind me, and after some back & forth conversing, she texted me with, "You have your whole life to be skinny"--and I guess she's right. In the grand scheme of things, even though pregnancy feels like forever, it really isn't. It's a little drop in the bucket. I'm working on adapting that perspective.
In the meantime, I'm signing up for 5 & 8K's within a few months of the baby being born to make SURE I stay motivated, and I'm already planning my return back to weight watchers just to make sure I see those small jeans again. However, I will enjoy the last two months of this pregnancy, or do my best anyway.
I'm starting to find myself picking up newborn diapers at the store here and there, and getting the new baby a few new essentials so she has some things of her own, and not all hand-me-downs from her big sister. Declan and I are getting really, really excited to just meet her. Do the whole newborn thing again (although sleep, I will miss you, so), and just love on some sweet smelling baby mushy goodness again.
It feels long. It feels forever at times. I know that all too well.
But I know it will be sooner than I can imagine that she's in my arms and growing up insanely fast.