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Friday, July 27, 2012

I thought it was 'it'.

I'm much too much of a verbal processor to just let THIS go by the wayside without writing about it, so here it goes.

Yesterday, I ended up in L&D from 9:30pm to 5:00am, only to be sent home--without my baby in my arms.

Gut punch.

So here's what happened.

Yesterday I had a weird day. I felt off. I know my body well enough to know that something is going on--and the end? Well, it's in sight at least. I've had lots of episodes of on/off contractions--hurty ones, that were timeable, but not enough to leave me doubling over in pain.

I kept watch of them. I counted some of them. I went to the mall after naptime to get a good walk in with Eme. Then they really started coming.

For the rest of that evening (last night), I was having pretty regular contractions, every 7 minutes (sometimes 5)--and because my labor and pushing wasn't considered "long" with Emeline, and being a 2nd time mom, my Doctor wanted me to call when they were coming about 7 minutes apart.

Well, I didn't call her. For hours. I took a bath. I laid still in bed. I drank water to see if it was because of dehydration. They still came.

After talking with a friend, I decided to just call and see what my doctor had to say. Well, just earlier that week she had another 2nd time mom wait too long, and ended up delivering her baby practically from her car in front of a grocery store. So she definitely erred on the side of caution, told me to come in, but said to prepare that I would stay.

Within an hour my mom was here staying with Emeline (who we had JUST put to sleep), and we were off on our way in an awful storm to get checked in triage. Honestly? I did not think I would be staying to have this baby. I figured they'd check me out, tell me it's still a little early, and come back again. But, honestly? I got there, got checked out--baby sounded great, they had me walk the halls for an hour, and then when I came back, I had dilated another cm+.

Seeing this change made both my doctor and nurse all YAY! It's happening! We're having this baby by morning! 2nd time moms go so quick! In fact, my doctor went off to sleep since I was her only patient, and was going to rest up for the big delivery of baby girl.

During this time my contractions picked up hardcore. I was excited because this is identical to how my labor went with Emeline. Not dilated much, but contracting--walking progressed me. Once I got to a 4cm with her, they could just give me an epi, teeny dose of pit, break my water & boom--baby. Right?

Well this time? My body was kind of stuck in pre-labor. I couldn't hit the active labor phase. After a few hours and no progressing (and being fully admitted to the hospital)...they told me I could stay, or go home and rest more comfortably there. But that because I'm only 38wks 1 day (according to my doctor), to me, I'm 38wks 5 days, that they'd use no method to augment my labor at this time.

To be honest? I appreciate that. I really do. Most doctors are pit-pushers to the max. Get me in and out.

After a lot more laboring (holy hell--my contractions WERE intense), some more hall walking, and seeing my contractions start to space all weirdly like 1 min apart, 3 min apart, 5 min apart, back to 1 min apart--I kind of got the hint, too. This wasn't happening right now. Or at least not in my timely manner.

My poor husband--exhausted. Beyond. It'd been close to 24 hours he'd been up by now. I buzzed the nurse and told her I wanted to go home because all I could picture was my bed. I told her my fears--about how far I live from the hospital, about how intense the contractions were, and how will I know, ohmygosh? But she eased my worries.

She said she hoped to see me back when she was back on night shift again tomorrow (tonight).

I really liked her. I kind of hope I see her too.

So we trudged out of L&D with all our stuff (because a few hours prior when they were all, YAY! Baby by breakfast! I made Declan get our things), around 5am---feeling kind of loser'ish.

I never had the the triage-be-admitted-then-sent-home experience with Emeline. I kind of hoped I'd never had it. But oh well. I guess this is part of this baby girls story now.

In hindsight? I wish the doctor just sent me home after monitoring me the first 40 minutes in triage. I was completely, totally prepared to go home then. I kind of felt like they gave me candy & then ripped it away. A little defeated, even.

When we got home, I asked God to stop my contractions so I could sleep a little. I had one major bang-a-rang contraction, and that's the last thing I remember before falling asleep around 5:45am. I got a good few hours of rest (until 9:30 or so). I know I'll need it.

How do I feel now?

Meh. Other then a little down about the unknowns, I'm alright. I know it can be any second or any day that my body decides to get over this tiny hump and jump into active labor. I was so close. I still am so close--in a way.

So I guess that's it. I was totally expecting to post a baby girl was born update this morning-but instead, I guess you get part 1 (ha) of a birth story. Because, this all counts, right?

sigh.

***

She's coming, sometime. It's just a matter of when.

Prayers welcome and appreciated. xoxo

28 comments:

  1. Augh I can feel your frustration from here! At least you know now that it definitely won't be long. Keeping you in my thoughts and hopefully baby girl will be here this weekend!

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  2. Oh wow! What an emotional roller coaster. As always, tons of prayers heading your way.

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  3. Praying baby girl makes her entrance soon (we're all dying to hear her name and put a face to it!) and that your labor IS quick! How many cm are you? I was 5 and still no labor, but as soon as they started I delivered within 3 hours. Hope you have the experience you are hoping for!

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  4. I'm bummed but they did give you candy and take it away! I bet you see that nurse you liked! We had a favorite nurse in pp and she walked us out to our car with C and gave us hugs. Maybe that's normal, idk.

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  5. Ahhhh baby girl stop teasing your mommy! Prayed last night, still keeping you on my mind as I sit here making fascinators for my SIL's wedding tomorrow hehe :)

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  6. You poor thing! I was in labor with Reese for 39 hours- and we didn't head to the hospital until 12 hours into it. Originally the midwife on call wanted to send me home as she said it was prodermal labor. Since it was my due date they let me stay, but never gave me pitocin. This was on Sunday night...Reese made her appearance on Monday at 8:26pm. :-(

    I feel your pain, Mama! Wishing you the best of luck and a quick and painless delivery! Can't wait to hear the good news!

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  7. You're in the home stretch, girl! Stay strong! You CAN do this!

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  8. I hope lil miss makes her debut soon :)

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  9. I had 7 hours of false labor last week! Biggest buzz kill ever when it stopped all of a sudden. Had hubs do a u-turn half a mile from the hospital. What's the deal? Baby #2's are playing tricks on us...

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  10. My neighbor had this exact same thing happen with her second, not her first. She went to the same birth center I had E at, and after a full night of walking and progressing a centimeter at 38 weeks, got sent home. She was so devastated. She was told the same things, "Second time moms, etc." I remember thinking, when she dropped her first born off with me at 1 am, "hmm, I don't think this is really active. You're just not acting like a woman in labor, even in contractions."

    I will tell you next that she didn't have that baby for another 2 weeks and 2 days (yes, she walked around in pre-labor and at 4-5 cm for almost 2 weeks.) BUT...when she finally went into labor, she went to 9 cm in the 20 minute drive to the birth center, and he was born 40 minutes after she arrived. Her "active" labor was less than 2 hours long total.

    So, the good news is, that baby will come when she is ready, and because your body is doing all this pre-work now, you will have her very quickly, most likely. I honestly don't think you'll go as long as my friend by a long shot - I still find her to be a bit of an anomaly in all that, as her second was born later than her first, in fact (weird) - but I do think you'll have the good fortune of really moving fast through active labor.

    You're so close mama:) Hang in there! You're doing great!

    P.S. Also, I am SUPER impressed with your doc. Down here, any OB-GYN would have had you on pit the second you hit L&D like that, no questions asked. There's a place for pitocin, but I think it's so overused, and it's good to see a doc not using it as a go-to all the time.

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  11. Praying for you lady. I know that's got to be so disappointing, but she'll be here very soon and it's nice that your body let you get some sleep. Hugs to you!

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  12. I had a similar experience with number 2. She came one week later (hours before I was scheduled to be induced). I was so paranoid about whether or not it was "real," when I finally got to the hospital I was 8 cm and delivered within 2 hours. Good luck to you!

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  13. Praying for you and your family. I am keeping my fingers crossed baby girl comes soon for you!

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  14. I'm bummed for you...but hang in there. Praying....

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  15. Oh you poor thing. But yes, it's just part 1 of her birth story. haha. She's coming soon!! Yay!!

    (ps. I've been MIA on instagram this week... gonna make sure I get back on so I don't miss any baby updates! lol)

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  16. Hang in there! Hope it all goes well. I will certainly be saying many prayers for you and your family.

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  17. Aww I'm sorry hun!!! I know the feeling, I had a very similar thing with Logan, but he was already a few days past due, so they told me they could keep me, and see, but same as you I just wanted to be at home.

    Praying she decides to come soon for you!!!

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  18. Labor Dust coming your way!!!! Come on baby girl!!!

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  19. I'm sorry. That stinks. I remember being in triage New Year's Eve with E, and although I wasn't having too painful contractions, I felt like something was happening, and when I was sent home, I just started crying. So...I can imagine how you must feel.

    But at least it'll be SOON. (Maybe tonight?) Prayers.

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  20. Bless your heart!! It will be soon!! Praying for you!!

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  21. Awww, SO close! Good luck:o) It will happen soon!

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  22. maybe tonight! but definitely soon! best of luck! prayers still coming your way!

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  23. Hang in there, sweetie! Your body is just getting EXTRA ready to bring her into the world and into your arms! xo

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  24. Praying that it happens soon and at the right time.
    I never had the experince of being sent home...I hope I never have to. :)

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  25. Oh! that's such a bummer... and such an emotional roller coaster! Soon! Very soon you'll be holding that beautiful little girl in your hands! Praying for you guys

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  26. Honestly August is the best month to be born in and your baby realized it wasn't quite August yet :)
    I never had any kind of "is this it?" moments with Quinn and wound up getting induced 9 days after her due date. I'm hoping that she comes soon and quick and healthy :) I can't wait to learn her name!

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  27. Praying that lovie comes soon! rest well momma!!!!

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  28. Aw man!! What a tease! Such an exhausting tease too.... I'm glad your doctor didn't push the pitocin on you too. Just a few more moments and you're there :) I pray for a peaceful smooth and timely delivery!!

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