I'm much too much of a verbal processor to just let THIS go by the wayside without writing about it, so here it goes.
Yesterday, I ended up in L&D from 9:30pm to 5:00am, only to be sent home--without my baby in my arms.
So here's what happened.
Yesterday I had a weird day. I felt off. I know my body well enough to know that something is going on--and the end? Well, it's in sight at least. I've had lots of episodes of on/off contractions--hurty ones, that were timeable, but not enough to leave me doubling over in pain.
I kept watch of them. I counted some of them. I went to the mall after naptime to get a good walk in with Eme. Then they really started coming.
For the rest of that evening (last night), I was having pretty regular contractions, every 7 minutes (sometimes 5)--and because my labor and pushing wasn't considered "long" with Emeline, and being a 2nd time mom, my Doctor wanted me to call when they were coming about 7 minutes apart.
Well, I didn't call her. For hours. I took a bath. I laid still in bed. I drank water to see if it was because of dehydration. They still came.
After talking with a friend, I decided to just call and see what my doctor had to say. Well, just earlier that week she had another 2nd time mom wait too long, and ended up delivering her baby practically from her car in front of a grocery store. So she definitely erred on the side of caution, told me to come in, but said to prepare that I would stay.
Within an hour my mom was here staying with Emeline (who we had JUST put to sleep), and we were off on our way in an awful storm to get checked in triage. Honestly? I did not think I would be staying to have this baby. I figured they'd check me out, tell me it's still a little early, and come back again. But, honestly? I got there, got checked out--baby sounded great, they had me walk the halls for an hour, and then when I came back, I had dilated another cm+.
Seeing this change made both my doctor and nurse all YAY! It's happening! We're having this baby by morning! 2nd time moms go so quick! In fact, my doctor went off to sleep since I was her only patient, and was going to rest up for the big delivery of baby girl.
During this time my contractions picked up hardcore. I was excited because this is identical to how my labor went with Emeline. Not dilated much, but contracting--walking progressed me. Once I got to a 4cm with her, they could just give me an epi, teeny dose of pit, break my water & boom--baby. Right?
Well this time? My body was kind of stuck in pre-labor. I couldn't hit the active labor phase. After a few hours and no progressing (and being fully admitted to the hospital)...they told me I could stay, or go home and rest more comfortably there. But that because I'm only 38wks 1 day (according to my doctor), to me, I'm 38wks 5 days, that they'd use no method to augment my labor at this time.
To be honest? I appreciate that. I really do. Most doctors are pit-pushers to the max. Get me in and out.
After a lot more laboring (holy hell--my contractions WERE intense), some more hall walking, and seeing my contractions start to space all weirdly like 1 min apart, 3 min apart, 5 min apart, back to 1 min apart--I kind of got the hint, too. This wasn't happening right now. Or at least not in my timely manner.
My poor husband--exhausted. Beyond. It'd been close to 24 hours he'd been up by now. I buzzed the nurse and told her I wanted to go home because all I could picture was my bed. I told her my fears--about how far I live from the hospital, about how intense the contractions were, and how will I know, ohmygosh? But she eased my worries.
She said she hoped to see me back when she was back on night shift again tomorrow (tonight).
I really liked her. I kind of hope I see her too.
So we trudged out of L&D with all our stuff (because a few hours prior when they were all, YAY! Baby by breakfast! I made Declan get our things), around 5am---feeling kind of loser'ish.
I never had the the triage-be-admitted-then-sent-home experience with Emeline. I kind of hoped I'd never had it. But oh well. I guess this is part of this baby girls story now.
In hindsight? I wish the doctor just sent me home after monitoring me the first 40 minutes in triage. I was completely, totally prepared to go home then. I kind of felt like they gave me candy & then ripped it away. A little defeated, even.
When we got home, I asked God to stop my contractions so I could sleep a little. I had one major bang-a-rang contraction, and that's the last thing I remember before falling asleep around 5:45am. I got a good few hours of rest (until 9:30 or so). I know I'll need it.
How do I feel now?
Meh. Other then a little down about the unknowns, I'm alright. I know it can be any second or any day that my body decides to get over this tiny hump and jump into active labor. I was so close. I still am so close--in a way.
So I guess that's it. I was totally expecting to post a baby girl was born update this morning-but instead, I guess you get part 1 (ha) of a birth story. Because, this all counts, right?
She's coming, sometime. It's just a matter of when.
Prayers welcome and appreciated. xoxo