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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Preg snark.

I've been left alone a fair amount this pregnancy. Meaning, I haven't had a whole lot of peanut-gallery comments, or ones that leave me scratching my head, or better yet, wanting to punch someone in the gut.

It's been generally...pretty good, I'd say. People have been mostly really nice--especially with losing weight & how I've carried along the way. One guy said he thought I should be on the cover of a pregnancy magazine, and although I don't agree completely, still? Was really, really nice.

But I think not being in a formal 'workplace' definitely plays a role in the lack of comments. Last pregnancy, I was teaching 900 students a week--elementary kids, with no filters. I worked with numerous teachers. Many whom were pregnant themselves. So, there were those funny things kids say. Then the few really weird things some co-workers said.

Like the time I was hanging the art show in the hall, and someone told me I should be getting help because lifting my arms above my head will cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the babies neck. Um. Ok. That's like advice from the 1900's. But thanks anyway.

Or then the time that the school nurse told me how awful childbirth was, and that I should be super!scared! And also? "Oh honey, your cheeks have filled out! That happens at the end, so you must be getting ready to have her." Thanks for pointing out my pregnancy fat face, lady.

In general though? I don't get many crazy offensive comments. I don't get a lot of eyes bulging out of their heads about being huge. I've never, ever had the 'are you sure it's not twins?' comment. And I'm pretty certain if I did that would result in a swift kick to the you-know-what's.

But I was driving last night thinking about the few things I do hear this pregnancy, and there are some. I get a LOT of bulging eyes when I tell people when I'm due and a lot of "but you're not big enough to have a baby that soon!" I usually say something like, "Well, thanks--but I feel ready."

The size of my baby bump doesn't dictate when my due date is, thank you very much. There is an actual science to this, people.

Or..."ohh you still have a long way to go, you're carrying so high!"

What-ever, clever. Thanks for that.

Or, how about the assumptions. Last night I got..."this MUST be your first!"

I was kind of dumbfounded. I didn't know if I was doing something wrong, wearing something wrong, or if I bought something wrong (it was the cashier at Ross who said this to me)....

So I said, "Oh, no--actually I have a 2 year old little girl at home."

And then here it comes--"But you're too young to have two children!"

I guess this could be a compliment, right? I look young. OR, she just thinks I *am* too young. But either way, she doesn't know my age--right? I just found it interesting.

And lastly...when strangers ask about the gender, and I tell them it's another little girl--it's quickly followed up with, "Do you like girls?"

Erm. Well, let's see. I LOVE my daughter(s). Having a girl is all I know so far. I'm pretty sure we get NO choice in the matter of gender, anyway. I would love my children no matter the sex. I believe God has all that sorted out anyway, way beyond my control.

But the short answer is yes, I love it. And it'd be weird to expect a different answer to that question, anyway. "No I don't like girls, but ended up with two." That'd just be awful.

**

No, I don't get the typical, whoa! you're huge! comments. But I do get the ones that insinuate I'll never have this child, that she'll live inside me forever because I just don't look big enough. That I'm too young to have two children. And the Oh, TWO girls, I'll pray for you, thing.

I guess it could be worse.

Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one.

32 comments:

  1. Ha! I'm guilty of one of those ;) And I've totally gotten the twins comment with this pregnancy. On more than one occasion. Irritating as all hell.

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  2. I get the too young comment from strangers too....they don't know how old we are! I feel like the second you appear to be pregnant people feel like they have the right to say whatever they want.....they don't!

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  3. Katie, I'm 32 weeks preggo with my third boy and everytime I'm out and about with both boys (will be 3 next week & 15 months) the first thing everyone says is, are you having a girl now?! And when I say, no another sweet boy, they follow up with IM SO SORRY! Whhhhhhhaaaattt?! Since when is a baby, of any gender, something to be sorry about?! We are thrilled to have another boy (it's all I know!). Then they'll say...ph man you'll have your hands full then. Really?!

    I also get the classic twin comments & the do any day comments because I carry my kids huge (have for all three...). The comments are hands down the worst part of pregnancy for me!

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  4. Hang in there. People really, really say the dumbest things to pregnant women. My last time around it was implied by many coworkers and strangers (most of them who were larger than me at my most pregnant) that I was as large as a house. It is super annoying and maybe the worst part of being pregnant.

    You're super sweet little lady will be here before you know it.

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  5. My daughter is 16 months now but I've still not completely gotten over all o the comments I got about my stomach being huge (8.5 lb 22 in at birth!!) and also being "too young" when I was 25.... people are so weird!
    The worst thing I heard was from a guy when I was in line for tea when Hadley was around 6 weeks old. He honest to god looked at me, looked at my baby in her carrier then said "so when is your next one due?" which was so awful I can't even explain it.

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  6. Most of the comments I get are pretty well meaning I think, but I have gotten a few 'huge' or 'your so big' comments lately. I never got that with Emily, so I'm still working on a response other than smiling politely and muttering what a douche bag they are behind their backs.

    I did get a nice one while walking Emily the other day. A woman said I look 'so fit' when I told her I only had a week and half left.

    People say we're lucky to have a girl and a boy (millionaires family apparently; do they pay us? :p ) but I'm still feeling pretty unprepared about having a boy. I feel like a 'girl mom', even though that's kind of a silly way to feel when you've only had one girl.

    I find it funny how sure people are of their predictions. A woman told me a month ago that I'd never go to term, and that it was a girl, because I was carrying so low and haven't gained anywhere but my belly. Last time I checked it's STILL my breathing that's compromised, not my walking and, um, still pregnant. Last time I'm pretty sure I was told it was a boy because of just having a basketball belly and no hips, and Emily's all girl.

    Luckily, the likelihood of us having more than 2 weeks left of this is highly improbable! Before you know it we'll be holding our new little ones and all of the cramps and ass hats will be a distant memory. I'm predicting you'll have your sweet girl before me (!!!), mostly because I'm feeling the same way I did last time, and I went almost a week overdue, and because I'm not 'allowed' to have this baby until the 10th because Craig is away until then and that would suck.

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  7. I got "you are a glutton for punishment". Wow. Thank you, are you saying my children are some kind of punishment? Rude. Also "you're going to have your hands full". Cause up till now my 3 other kids have been looking after themselves. Really.

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  8. You don't look big at all and the bump suits you :)

    Honestly I get comments about having a sister with Down Syndrome the most common, How do you cope/live with her? My answer is always I love her and though she drives me mad she can make me laugh and gives the best hugs and kisses which make up for all the annoying things she does. The other one that drives me mad is: I'm so sorry, when ever I tell someone because honestly I'm not sorry for her so why should you be? I have learnt to live with the comments but there are times I still want to slap a few of these people!

    People can be so inconsiderate at times!

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  9. AMEN sister! :-)

    The other day while at the store with my daughter, a stranger asked me what I was having this time and I said a boy. She then says, "Thank God! I"m sure you are so happy!" Um... what was that supposed to mean? I told her, "I thank God for everything he has given me, and would have loved a girl or a boy this time. We had no gender preference."

    People...

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  10. People don't censor themselves at all when you are pregnant. I barely feel like leaving the house becaue I don't feel like strangers telling me how big I am!

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  11. Sorry you have to hear that crap, but this did make me laugh.

    People have no filter or buffer.

    I remember when I told my client I was pregnant with Mia and he told me it was bad timing! Gee thanks for your support m fer :)

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  12. I got the twins and the "ohmahgaw-you-are-ginormous" compliments all.the.time. And the looks I got at the gym when I'd spin in my sports bra? I kinda wish I'd whipped out my camera to capture those. You're in the home stretch, and then you'll just have to deal with all the parenting advice. ;)

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  13. "Like the time I was hanging the art show in the hall, and someone told me I should be getting help because lifting my arms above my head will cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the babies neck. Um. Ok. That's like advice from the 1900's." I literally LOL at my desk when I read this. SO HILARIOUS. Do people really think that?!

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  14. Bahaha! Too funny, and you are so right! I totally got the twins remark when I was pregnant with our son, but then I would get the your belly is tiny too. Everyone has opinions and they should just not say anything, ha! It would help us preggos all out! Unless of course it is about how great we look, cause goodness knows we ALWAYS need those! ;)

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  15. Oh, I remember those comments..... the twin one made me so angry. I wanted to ask them when they were due, even if it was an old man. My other favorite is when people would ask when I was due while I was holding a baby carrier...... with the baby in it. "Um, I'm due in 2 weeks and I just had him last week. " People really have no filter.

    OH! Someone also stopped and asked if I was married (I didn't have my ring on because I was so swollen and it was mid July heat). She then told me so was sick of unwed mothers giving birth.

    Where do these people come from!!??

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  16. People are so crazy! Honestly I got zero comments during my last pregnancy because
    A. I was living in Dallas, which is far from everyone I know, and I was at home
    Or B. I was way overweight then and people couldn't tell if I was pregnant or just fat.
    Either way I was glad to avoid the comments, but now we're living back in our hometown so next pregnancy I may be dealing with the comments. I'm NOT looking forward to it.

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  17. "Um. Ok. That's like advice from the 1900's. But thanks anyway."
    love it.

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  18. Oh the comments.
    WHY do people think it's okay to spout their random (usually stupid) comments towards pregnant women? The pregnant model comment was nice... much nicer than the random guy that flagged me down at the gas station just to tell me how huge I was. (Not exaggerating)
    I got the twins comment several times. So annoying.

    I can't believe someone asked if you like girls. LOL. Wonder what they'd say if you said no??

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  19. I used to get the "Oh you're so small" comment by one person followed shortly by the "You're HUGE" comment from someone else.

    People are just dumb and apparently think talking to a pregnant woman gives them liberty to say whatever they want.

    I'm already getting the, "oh you're just going to lose all this weight to turn around and get pregnant and fat again." Really? Wow. Thanks. Ass. I mean come on, who says that!

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  20. This is a great post!
    My mom has told me about the "don't lift your hands above your head" comment with all 3 of my pregnancies. I just laugh at her. With my 3rd pregnancy I'm not super big but not super small but my step mom thinks its ok to tell me how BIG I look everytime I see her, so annoying! I get the crazy looks when I'm out with both girls & ppl see that I'm prego again with #3.

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  21. Oh my god lol! I'm dying here, I think if I am ever blessed enough to be pregnant again I want a sign to hang in my house for all visitors of the new babe to see that says " opinions are like buttholes, everybody has one" you know, but all classy like in fancy script...so so freaking hilarious! It is so true, everyone has a story or assvice ; ) lots of luck as wait for her arrival!

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  22. When I was about seven months pregnant, I had one person ask if I was having twins and another tell me I only looked four months along in the same day. People's perceptions of preggo bellies are weird and unless it's a simple "You look fabulous!" it doesn't need to be said.
    That being said, you do look fabulous :)

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  23. When I was about seven months pregnant, I had one person ask if I was having twins and another tell me I only looked four months along in the same day. People's perceptions of preggo bellies are weird and unless it's a simple "You look fabulous!" it doesn't need to be said.
    That being said, you do look fabulous :)

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  24. I was cringing (sp?) for you this whole post! People are so STUPID! I hope someone slaps me if I ever say anything like that! Then you just finish it off with opinions are like buttholes! I of course thought it said bulletholes and I had to reread and then died! So funny!

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  25. People are crazy! It just amazes me. I think it's just that people don't THINK about what they're going to say until they've already said it. Too late! OMG!

    When i was a nanny, i was ... i think 23 & had a 3 year old. And a lady said, "She is YOURS?!" in a way that was so obviously judgemental - i looked about 18 - so she was thinking i was a teen with a 3 year old. I was like "Actually, i'm the nanny - but i'm 23...she's 3... she COULD be mine!" GAH! Another time i was told I better get her to stop sucking her thumb right now! Again - not my kid - and mind your own business!

    Crazies!

    I would LOVE to have two girls. :)

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  26. Lordie! Everytime I hear comments made to pregnant people, it just makes me wonder about what crazy pill people took that morning. Why do people say things like that?!

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  27. When I was pregnant with my first son my principal made a comment about how I must be getting ready to go into labor because my face really filled out over the weekend...Never thought my boss would insinuate I was fat but she must have known what she was talking about, C came four days later (two weeks early)!

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  28. Too funny! I get that I'm too young to be married. And I'm 28. People are usually stunned by this. Then I tell them I was married at 24. Then they're horrified, LOL! To each is own:o)

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  29. Too funny! I get that I'm too young to be married. And I'm 28. People are usually stunned by this. Then I tell them I was married at 24. Then they're horrified, LOL! To each is own:o)

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  30. Also, being the oldest of 4 girls? I to this day still hear "Oh, you're poor dad!" Haha. He's so lucky & knows it so I just laugh:o)

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  31. omg. i can't believe someone would ask "do you like girls?" wtf.

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  32. The comment about being young is something I would have gotten, too. My favorite is "Divorced? You don't even look old enough to be married at all!" Well, um, thanks.. by the time my mom was my age, she was carrying around an 8 year old and a 2 year old.. I'd say I'm playing catch up at this point.

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