Pages

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Whine. with a side of aquarium photos.

I lied.

I can't stop talking about being pregnant. Easier said than done when this balloon in my stomach is taking over my thoughts and brain. I literally cannot think of anything else.

I feel like I teeter totter in this world of enjoying all these last moments with Eme alone, and then just dying...dying to have my second baby girl here in the flesh.

So we enjoyed some time at the aquarium, just us this weekend. Something else to check off the pre baby bucket list.


I guess I'm allowed to feel both things, right? The cherishing of all the last moments with just one kid, and then the whole wanting-to-meet-my-newest-baby thing. Nobody makes a rule book about Feelings Before 2nd Baby Arrives. Or do they?

Who cares.

At 38 weeks plus pregnant, I feel so done. I know in reality I could have another 2+ weeks. The thought alone of 2 weeks sounds like forever. HOW STUPID IS THAT? 2 weeks is nothing. NOTHING. But right now, in my head? It feels like an eternity. I will forever be remembered for complaining about wanting my babies here. Some people have even reminded me how much I whined last time. It's true. I do whine a little (a lot) at the end. It's not a secret I don't enjoy being pregnant. So this part? This part is so hard for me. So, so hard.

Birth and the whole unknown thing? It's like Christmas. But throw in some more anxiousness. Because at least you know The Day that Christmas is happening, right? For me-at this point, I have no idea when this amazing day will come that I get to do the whole labor/delivery/meet face-to-face my sweet baby girl thing. Aka: The best day ever. It is truly the most magical, amazing, heart-jump-out-of-your-chest, bursting with love moment(s) ever. And I can't wait for it again.

So for now I get to just sit around and analyze everything. Google stuff I already know the answers to. Get jealous when other moms with my due date meet their babies. And daydream about my turn.

It'll come. Soon enough. Because no baby stays in there forever.

I just want it to be my turn, soon.

I'm trying so hard to occupy my time with things I've put off forever. For instance? Emeline's book of her birth? Officially made (after 2 years and 3 months), and on it's way to my door. Now, I will have zero guilt about making a baby birth-day book for #2. See how that works? Procrastination at it's finest.

Now, if only I had her 1st and 2nd year books done. (no cigar.)

This could be a long few weeks. 

Bear with me, friends. I promise there should be a beautiful, squishy newborn to show for at the end of all this whining.

Dear God...please. :)

19 comments:

  1. I googled everything too during those last few weeks looking for some sort of clue of when I would go into labor and then when labor actually started I didn't really believe it and I was still googling. Have fun! It's so exciting, I kind of wish I could do it all over again like right now!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your sweet new squishy baby will be here before you know it!!!! You are doing so good!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I never made it full term... Both my babies came early and with lots of bed rests. With my last I remember being miserable at 32 weeks... 38 weeks makes me cringe. I would have given anything to have had full term, take them home from the hospital on time babies... But I can relate to being absolutely miserable. Best of luck! Wishing you baby labor pains soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Of COURSE you're going to talk about your babes and pregnancy! If you could forget about it THAT would seem like a problem! So excited for you!! Two weeks will flyyyy byyyy
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm at the stage where I am praying for things to go slowly so I can savor it...

    But this post reminds me of how miserable I was at the point you're at. I'm sorry. Waiting stinks. :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. I remember being at this point mentally and emotionally. It's completely acceptable to keep talking about it! I think we'd be more concerned if you weren't talking about it :) Hope she makes her arrival soon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Totally normal. I remember that last trip out (ours was the zoo) and I sooo enjoyed it, but I also hoped it was the last one before baby brother came. That sounds bad, but it was the truth!! I also googled, read posts from a group on a website that all had the same due date month, read books, etc. It's like I thought I would find some new labor sign that wasn't there 2 yrs ago and it would make me realize I am in the beginning!!!stages!!!!of!!!!labor!!!! ;) and while 2 weeks is nOthing in the grand scheme of things, it is like 2 years to a 38 week pregnant woman :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. OF COURSE you're allowed to feel both! This time is so fleeting, all of it. Feel the NOW.

    And so glad to see that in your last post all looks well with baby girl!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Omg your whining is nothing compared to what I was like at the end of my pregnancy. I was a full on witch at the end.

    Hope she comes soon! Sending labor dust your way!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oy. I SO remember that phase, mama. The waiting, and waiting, and WAITING. I remember saying to myself every day, 'is this it? is this the day?' SO frustrating. And, the best part, is that I ended up giving birth 2 weeks LATE. (Can you imagine not giving birth for another FOUR weeks from now? An eternity. Ha.) Talk about torture!

    I hope your little girl decides to come out sooner than later. I can't wait to 'meet' her! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh hang in there Momma!

    I have yet to do Mia's books either and she's almost 3, but I told myself it's getting done this summer, so I technically have a little while longer.

    PS - I'm so jealous that you guys have an aquarium!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I totally understand--I think I cried every single night for two weeks before I had Lizzy. Once we set a date for induction (which we didn't end up needing anyway), I felt a little better, but not much!

    Hang in there mama. I know how hard it is to wait!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bless your heart, sweet girl. YOU KNOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. On due date eve this time around, I tweeted that D-day eve is like Christmas eve except way suckier because Santa has a better track record of showing up on time than my babies do. Praying that you get some comfort for these last days. xox

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think you explained that feeling perfectly. I'm so anxious to hear this little girl's name.......so I also hope she comes soon. :) And for you of course!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You can whine all you like. It is a hard place most times at the end of a pregnancy. You feel huge and sore and just READY. I always think its important to feel this way to make sure you are mentally ready to go through labor. Like you would rather go through labor and all that entails than be this pregnant! Thats how i felt anyway. After having a 42 weeker for #3, i would say to myself at 38 weeks with #4 that i could potentially have another month to go. That really brought me back to earth!!! I really get you on 2 weeks just seems like an eternity. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  16. With Zoe, the DAY I hit 9 months I couldn't hardly stand waiting anymore... I wanted to meet her so so so bad. I felt like I could carry her way past 9 months, but I just couldn't wait to meet her... I'm already there with this little one, I keep making myself 1 week ahead in the pregnancy on accident, just subconsciously getting him here faster!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You're entitled to gripe. Totally. With my pregnancies, my last month EVERY blog post was 100% complaints about being pregnant.

    Except I wasn't as nice as you are. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. What service do you use to make the books? Shutterfly?

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is exactly how I felt towards the end, this brought tears to my eyes! Worth every second though, right?!? Xxx

    ReplyDelete