I can't stop talking about being pregnant. Easier said than done when this balloon in my stomach is taking over my thoughts and brain. I literally cannot think of anything else.
I feel like I teeter totter in this world of enjoying all these last moments with Eme alone, and then just dying...dying to have my second baby girl here in the flesh.
So we enjoyed some time at the aquarium, just us this weekend. Something else to check off the pre baby bucket list.
I guess I'm allowed to feel both things, right? The cherishing of all the last moments with just one kid, and then the whole wanting-to-meet-my-newest-baby thing. Nobody makes a rule book about Feelings Before 2nd Baby Arrives. Or do they?
At 38 weeks plus pregnant, I feel so done. I know in reality I could have another 2+ weeks. The thought alone of 2 weeks sounds like forever. HOW STUPID IS THAT? 2 weeks is nothing. NOTHING. But right now, in my head? It feels like an eternity. I will forever be remembered for complaining about wanting my babies here. Some people have even reminded me how much I whined last time. It's true. I do whine a little (a lot) at the end. It's not a secret I don't enjoy being pregnant. So this part? This part is so hard for me. So, so hard.
Birth and the whole unknown thing? It's like Christmas. But throw in some more anxiousness. Because at least you know The Day that Christmas is happening, right? For me-at this point, I have no idea when this amazing day will come that I get to do the whole labor/delivery/meet face-to-face my sweet baby girl thing. Aka: The best day ever. It is truly the most magical, amazing, heart-jump-out-of-your-chest, bursting with love moment(s) ever. And I can't wait for it again.
So for now I get to just sit around and analyze everything. Google stuff I already know the answers to. Get jealous when other moms with my due date meet their babies. And daydream about my turn.
It'll come. Soon enough. Because no baby stays in there forever.
I just want it to be my turn, soon.
I'm trying so hard to occupy my time with things I've put off forever. For instance? Emeline's book of her birth? Officially made (after 2 years and 3 months), and on it's way to my door. Now, I will have zero guilt about making a baby birth-day book for #2. See how that works? Procrastination at it's finest.
Now, if only I had her 1st and 2nd year books done. (no cigar.)
This could be a long few weeks.
Bear with me, friends. I promise there should be a beautiful, squishy newborn to show for at the end of all this whining.
Dear God...please. :)