(Read Part 1 & Part 2 first...)
Finally. Finally. That sweet man of an an anesthesiologist walked in the door. It felt like an eternity. ETERNITY. But it was finally happening, I would get some relief--finally, after days of painful episodes and hours of intensity. I was so tired. So, so tired.
By this point, it was probably about 7:45pm. The process of getting the epidural was awful only because of how much pain I was in by this point. I was literally hugging my poor pregnant nurse, hanging over the side of the bed, sobbing big tears on her baby bump. I'm not kidding. Just picture THAT for two seconds. Go ahead, laugh.
My doctor was in the room, and I just kept saying how much pain was in my butt--and that I couldn't sit up anymore, the pain was just too unbearable. My cries were shaking my back and I remember the anesthesiologist saying that I needed to try to remain calm because my small shaking felt like huge mountains to him. I tried, so hard, to stay still. It was torture.
My doctor told the anesthesiologist that she wouldn't be surprised if I was fully dilated and to give me the full dose in case I went directly to pushing, to make sure it would take at least some affect in time. I remember thinking, Ohmygosh, ALREADY--but also, THANK YOU GOD--I want this over.
Declan came back in the room (my hospital makes them wait outside), and I hung onto him for a few more contractions until suddenly--within about 10 minutes I was finally feeling some relief. And just.like.that my entire demeanor changed.
It was like a calmness overcame my body. I was so grateful, no matter how long I would/would not get to enjoy the relief, that I got SOME relief at all. I've already had people ask me if I wished I didn't even bother getting an epidural because I was so close--but the truth is, I do not regret it--not a tiny bit. It made the rest of welcoming our baby girl into the world SO beautiful, calm and peaceful--so for that alone, I'm glad.
But back to the story.
At this point, my doctor checked me. I wasn't a 10 like she'd guessed, but I was 7+ and she was all HOLY COW THAT KID IS LOW & no wonder you felt so much pain.
This is when she broke my water.
During the next half hour (or less) is when Declan and I just really got to enjoy it. I gave him my camera, he started documenting stuff around the room, we were laughing and joking, and I was taking silly pictures. Silly pictures? WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED TWENY MINUTES PRIOR. I would have killed someone. But once I got some sweet relief, bring on the pictures.
This time was really special for me. I know it sounds all cliche, but really--it was just quiet, and silly and sweet--and so, so special being just Declan and I.
I felt like I could finally focus on the fact that so soon our 2nd baby girl would be in our arms.
At 8:30 my doctor and nurse came back around and that's when she checked me and said, Alright, looks like it's time to have this baby. My body speeds through the last part of dilation, that's why I knew that getting there at 5cm didn't necessarily mean we'd have a long time. In fact, we'd only been in the hospital since 6:15pm, it's 8:30pm and about time to push?
Whoa. That was fast.
But I was ready now. I was able to be at peace, relax, and really focus on bringing my girl on the outside.
The doctor was kind of casually getting ready (seriously, she is so relaxed & at ease--I love it), and the nurse was prepping the baby station. Within a few minutes they had my legs up on the stirrups, quickly reminded me of the way we push, and alright let's do this.
At 8:40pm I pulled back on my own legs, leaned in, and pushed with my first contraction. Honestly? Feeling almost nothing at all---and it was heaven. The doctor said my pushes were perfection and since I've done it before that probably lended to it. My husband was by my head, counting--and while I was pushing, I was focused.
In between contractions? We chatted, laughed, I leaned down and could see my progress (sorry if that weirds you out, I thought it was kind of cool how aware I was this time compared to last time :) ), and I seriously just took in every part of it.
There were no other words to describe her entrance into the world other than peaceful. It was SO peaceful.
On my 4th push, they told me to lean down and grab my baby girl--something I'd wanted to do so badly. I leaned down and put my hands under her little arm pits and pulled my crying, healthy, slimy and sweet baby out and up on my chest.
At 8:55pm, she was here.
We smiled. We ooh'ed and ahh'ed at her.
We did it.
Welcome Lucy Elizabeth.
You gave me a run for my money sweet girl--but you were so worth it.