I don't prefer crowds, but if it's for a good time, I'll still go and brave a big crowd. I get a little nervous around new people, but give me a few minutes and I'll be telling my best stories and hopefully we'll be fast friends. I'm not really into talking in front of my peers. Children? Teenagers, even? Sure. No problem. I was a teacher. But in front of my peers? Cue shaky voice and often tears (especially if it's to talk about something, well, emotional).
Those things intimidate me.
Most other things...? Not really.
Oh. Wait. I forgot one.
A newfound intimidation.
Going out with two children. Alone.
I wish, so badly, that I was super cool about all this mom of two stuff, but I'm still not that great at it. I'm still learning it.
I'm not even a tiny bit sure of what the heck I would do if suddenly my newborn was screaming in hunger, my toddler was melting down, and I had a cart full of things still to be purchased. Leave my cart abandoned? Grab my children and run for the hills? Die of embarrassment?
I just don't know.
Prior to having two kids, I joked about when the baby got here, that I'd probably never leave my house. Well that little joke has somewhat become my reality. Because, dude, it is MUCH SAFER in the four walls of my home than out in public. Where scary ish happens. Where my kids can be crazies. Where toddlers can run out in parking lots. And moms can have heart attacks because, OH THE ANXIETY. And I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS.
Don't get me completely wrong, I've gone out with two kids alone to safe places. I've done the dance of trying to get out the door and down the steps (stinkin' townhome) with a newborn who just pooped up her back and needs a new diaper and outfit change, and the toddler who's walking out the door with food on her face that I forgot to wipe, shoes on the wrong feet, and then who suddenly decides to take her skirt off, just because. I've done the juggle of infant seat hanging off my arm, with larger than life diaper bag, all while holding a toddlers hand so she doesn't run out in the street and trying to shoo my dog away so he doesn't run for the hills causing me to look like even more of a lunatic than I already do. I've dropped my keys while trying to get the door locked behind me, almost got stung by bees, practically thrown out my back, have had both kids safely in the car, and then realized I forgot my sunglasses on the brightest.day.ever.
Getting out the door, alone, with two kids? I can do that. Even though I look like I ran a marathon by the time I get in the car myself.
I can even go to safe places. Safe places= drive thru's (where children do not leave the car, ever), my parents house (because, again, safety of a home--and grandparents! yay! and extra hands for help! and a big yard to run!), Declan's parents house (again, safety of a home)....etc.
With Declan? We can basically do everything. Because, one parent for each child. Right? Makes sense. Restaurants, shopping, normal'ish errands.
But just me? I wish I felt like I could take on the world with this one, but I just don't.
I know exactly what I need to do.
I need to just do it. Then keep practicing. I need to do things that feel unsafe and figure out the right way to go about it. Do I wear the baby in the wrap? Strap the toddler in the cart? Bring the double stroller? Hide in a dressing room to nurse the baby if I have to? Bring the iPad for backup when those situations arise?
I know. I know this seems silly--and to be honest, I hate to admit this intimidates me as much as it does. But it does. And one day I hope I look back and laugh at myself. I really do. But right now, it's kind of real--and it's kind of intimidating.
Now, quick! Give me all your tips, tricks, ideas and how you overcame this, so I don't become a decrepit hermit locked up in my townhouse all week with two children. Mmmk? Thanks :)