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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Things. Because that's as creative as I can get right now.

It's 7:20am and I already kind of feel like a failure today. Womp womp, right? True life, though.

I know, know, know that little sleep is expected with a newborn, but yiiiikes---how I miss being able to have the late morning sleep-in's with a newborn snuggling next to me like I did with Emeline. Having a toddler, too? Well that changes everything. She's rearing to go in the morning after her blissful 10-12 hours of sleep.

Someone else needs me. When all I want is to shut my eyes for five hours minutes, someone else needs to be changed, and fed, and taken care of. That is what makes the mom of two gig different. Much different. Dear Jesus, I pray my girls nap at the same time this afternoon.

I'm not even sure coffee can fix this lack-of-sleep hangover I'm dealing with.

**

My poor, sweet newborn went and got some kind of cold. The exact same thing happened to Emeline at this age, too. Basically, they're all congested, sound like a little piggy when breathing, need to be salined and snot sucked already--it's awfully sad. It makes sleeping and nursing a challenge, hence I think why last night was pretty awful in the sleep arena for Lucy. And me.

It makes me so sad, though. But I know there is really nothing to do other than ride it out.

**

Yesterday I took both girls out at lunchtime knowing full well the ONLY place I was going to go was to some sort of drive-thru for lunch. I realize this is lamesauce, but I am not ready yet to fully unleash the beasts let them out and be, you know, free. Where I may have to chase Eme down with a newborn strapped on my chest, or worry about her being hit by a car. That kind of (serious) thing.

Getting them out and in the car alone was Step #1. I'm taking baby steps this time and I'm not apologizing for it. Two kids is different, man.

This may take me a while.

**

We ventured out for a really short (1 hour) trip last night once Declan got home. Our church small group was having a little picnic outing at a house right down the street from us. It took us well over half hour to just get OUT the door.

Literally, seconds before trying to leave it was chaos. Emeline was running around with my breast pump parts over her nipple with her shirt pulled up, "I do like mommy!" Her shoes were on the wrong feet. Her shirt was stained from dinner, and I didn't even care. Then, we had a pee incident while Declan was changing Lucy's diaper, requiring a full outfit change. Changing newborns is more annoying than I remember, they are just so...floppy. And then once we were down in the foyer ready to leave, Emeline decided it was the perfect time to do her #2 business, requiring us to run up 3 flights of steps to deal with that.

It was one of those, why are we doing this again? things and also---a huge sigh of relief once everyone was buckled in the car. I may have done a double-check to make sure everyone was in fact, IN THE CAR and accounted for.

Also--this is my #1 fear. That I will forget one child somewhere. Stop laughing. It's legit.

**

While at the picnic, I kept Lucy in the moby. I wasn't about to be passing her around, knowing full well she isn't feeling 100% right now. I wanted to keep her close to me. I am loving the moby, by the way. ANYWAY.

Someone asked me (and was being DEAD SERIOUS) if she was sleeping through the night already.

I think there was like 5 minutes of silence and me blink.blink.blinking in disbelief. She is 9 days old as of today, people. SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT?

But then, two other ladies there said that their newborns slept through the night right away. I was like, SHUTUP NO THEY DIDN'T. But then they told me that to them, sleeping through the night just meant that the baby nurses and then goes back down--not staying up for hours and hours screaming, etc--having their nights and days mixed up. I was all, OHMYGOSH okay,  I thought you were suggesting the baby was sleeping, without eating, for like 10-12 hours from the get-go, and I was going to die of jealousy.

Which led me to wonder what everyone's definition of sleeping through the night is. Because to me, it means going about 8+ hours without eating. But now I know that other people have different definitions and my world has been rocked a little. (Not really.)

**

I just reread this post and realized I am such a boring mom. I should really just delete this and start over but I'm just too tired.

Real life. 

37 comments:

  1. Deep breath-you knew a rough day would come sooner or later. And you know what? It'll pass. I only have one but it's makeing me realize I need to enjoy the quiet moments with just her all the more. I'm kicking myself for not napping more with her when I was on leave....the house really can wait :)

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  2. I had just tweeted yesterday about my fear of leaving the baby behind when I go on errands... I can't forget the toddler because he's a bundle of noise- but the quiet baby who doesn't make a peep? Yeah. I have legit fears of leaving him in his carseat in the driveway. Or right inside the house.. As I drive off. It's insane. Mothering two is all about survival, Ive quickly learned and you're doing a great job. Little victories, Katie. Little victories ;) My new mantra!

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  3. I just want to say thank you... for braving the world of 1+ kiddos. We're still on #1, but an addition is hopefully in the near future... I am using your intel as reality checks for what we're bringing upon ourselves!!! Anyway... my doctor told us that sleeping through the night the first couple weeks/months was 4-5 hour stints, and to not expet that immediately. They need to eat more often than 8-10 hr. lapses. You are doing amazing! Listen to your mom-gut... it got you through these early days with Eme... it will get you through these also. You have a house full of love - so meltdowns (you and Eme) will be forgivien, and it will all be ok! :)

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  4. " I do like Mommy"- haha, that made me giggle. Anyway, just dropping by to leave you a little encouragement. I think you're doing well. I like reading about what to expect although I think I am far more terrified of having two than you ever were. I haven't a clue what I'm going to do, but it's nice to be prepared for these things which is why I'm loving every post you've written lately. Thanks for writing even though you think it's "boring", it's not to me!

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  5. Leaving one kid behind? Legit fear. I freaked out driving down the highway once because we were taking L to the movies and ohmahgahwherewasG? Um, at my dad's house. Where we left him so we could take L to the movies. I didn't even have newborn-sleep-deprivation to blame. What the heck?

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  6. I'm scared I'll leave Joshua behind somewhere too!! Reading about you going through the EXACT same things I am makes me feel SO much better, Thankyou! Xxx

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  7. This is so refreshing to read. I love these posts. I have an almost 8 month old and am 14w pregnant so I like how honest and real you are. I feel like I have the opportunity to know what to expect.

    I hope Lucy feels better soon!!!

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  8. Oh girl. I am SO with you on this one. Since I am about three months ahead of you in this mom of two thing, let me encourage you! It gets better! So much better. For the first month, Foster wouldn't even tolerate his bouncy chair. And you can forget the playmat or carseat. Screamed like a banshee. Little man had to be held at all times. And when I was exhausted from 1 hour nursing sessions all night, Ellie Kate was all BLAH BLAH BLAH I'm three and I'm ready to play and destroy things! Movies became our best friend. And I didn't go anywhere without Josh. Just too much work!

    But soon? Like at 1 month-ish? It got better. Foster suddenly liked his bouncy seat. The car screaming became less and less (with the help of a portable white noise machine) and I even took both kids to the library. And who knows, it may have been sooner if we knew how much pain he was in.

    Now that he is three months old things are starting to get fun again. He smiles and coos all the time. Loves his bouncer and playmat. Content just laying around watching us. Ellie Kate has started talking to him and bringing him toys to play with. I even shower every day now. And just yesterday, took both kids to target alone. When I got home I realized that was the first time I had done that, and it wasn't even hard!

    As for sleeping through the night? HAHAHAHA. Not gonna happen for us for a while. He was in too much pain and has too many eating issues for that at the moment. But the great part about having two kids is that I know it won't last forever. I can look at Ellie Kate and know that someday Foster will be that big and that independent. And be able to get his own snacks and pee in the potty! Ah, freedom.

    I wrote this book just to tell you that you are not alone. And this is just a season of life. You know that, but we will all be here to remind you :)

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  9. You sound like you are doing a great job to me! I am sure two is soo different. I am still on one, and despite the thought of the sleepless nights, pictures of your two beauties make me want another one soo soon! I miss that tiny stage!

    I agree with you, sleeping through the night is not eating for at least 8 hrs! Little Lucy will be there before you know it! :)

    You are doing awesome mama! :)

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  10. You poor poor thing. I wish I could help! I'd totally take Em off your hands for a few hours and give you a little peace if I could. Thinking about you!

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  11. hah REAL LIFE. It's real life. Don't apologize for that.

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  12. I think 'sleeping through the night' is considered 4-5 hours at a time....but I'm wiht you, i'm thinking more like 8! cause that means MOMMA can sleep through the night!

    Praying today is quiet and restful and little Lucy gets to feeling better!

    You're doing a great job!

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  13. Ah, the, "This was a horrible idea, what were we thinking having a second?" moments. I remember them well.

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  14. Hang in there! You've got this. One day at a time.

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  15. Omg "I do like Mommy!" Hilarious!
    Thanks for keeping it real. Great job!

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  16. this cracked me up. but i love that it is real life, there is no sugar coating it at all and i love that you post things like this. i have no kiddos yet,as you know, but seriously enjoy reading about what moms really go through. not all rainbows and butterflies.
    hang in there girlie!! you are doing a fabulous job with those two little cuties :)

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  17. just to encourage a bit. when my 2nd was born, i didn't go anywhere alone. NOWHERE. which was really hard for me because i as on the go go go with #1. but within a couple of months i started getting more and more brave and now we go out just as much as we did before. [mine are 2 years 3 months and then 9 months old] you are doing great!

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  18. Welcome to the other side...all aboard the crazy train!

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  19. You are doing great! A newborn being thrown into the mix is no joke and takes time. I remember the first 6 weeks of my daughter's (kid #2) life were just survival mode. The not being able to rest when your newborn rests is the worst; toddlers are SO. FULL. OF. ENERGY! B just turned 3 in June, and K is 18 months.. I cannot imagine bringing number three into the mix for at least another year (as in, get pregnant then).

    Oh, and I am here to say that I STILL freak out over thinking I left a kid at home or in the shopping cart as I drive off. haha.

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  20. I found your blog through a friend of a friend and it is so encouraging. I am pregnant with #2. I have been a little nervous about managing a baby and a toddler so this blog was perfect. So nice to know other moms have days like these! :)

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  21. Oh my gosh this is so funny. So SO true. So true. I remember the night we brought my 2nd home from the hospital (she was there a month - born at 30 weeks) and it was the FIRST time I remember thinking "oh my gosh what if Kaden wakes up in the middle of the night too? What if the baby cries too loudly and wakes him up? How am I going to feed her and keep him from waking all the way up? I have to somehow make sure TWO kids sleep relatively "through the night" AND make sure that I sleep too?! How am I going to do THAT?! (Yes, my husband got up with me every time and helped, but I was still nervous!) We had to set the alarm for every 3 hours to MAKE SURE she ate because she was still so tiny. Thankfully, my one year old (12.5 months old by the time we brought baby #2 home) was sleeping through the night quite well at that time. Now? not so much. It'll get easier. Just take it one minute at a time. Oh, and planning ahead makes life a billion times easier. Like, get stuff ready the night before if you know you're going out the next day. I was never one to plan ahead until I had 2 kids and worked 40 hours/week. Now it's my survival. Good luck mama!

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  22. I consider "sleeping through the night" sleeping the amount of time that I usually/would like to sleep at night--6-8 hour stretches.

    But I know what you mean about different definition of terms--I was reading this blog the other day, and the mom said that she exclusively breastfeeds. Then a few paragraphs later, she mentioned that she supplements with formula a few times a day. I don't give a flying hoot if you supplement with formula, but if you ARE, you're not exclusively breastfeeding. You're just not. Which is FINE, but seriously, it doesn't help any of us when we start skewing the definition of terms like that! End rant.

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  23. Oh my goodness, I could have written this post when Brynn was first born too (I actually think I did.) WHAT MADNESS!

    Anyway, I'm hoping it can't be worse with 3 (wait, can it?) I guess we'll know soon enough.

    And I agree... that is NOT sleeping through the night. I think the definition of STTN is at least 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. So if the babe sleeps from 12pm-5 or 6am, then that's STTN.

    Waking up "just to nurse" or for any reason =/= STTN. Sheesh.

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  24. To me sleeping through the night means going 8+ hours without waking. A lot of my girlfriends told me their kids slept through the night at 3-6 weeks old. That is craziness to me!!! My 3 year old didn't sleep through the night until she was 15 months old. Yikes! Thank goodness I got a do over with the second.

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  25. I've been such a bad commenter lately. All this bday stuff has me running around like a crazy person.

    Anyway...
    1. Happy (belated) Anniversary!
    2. That video had me all teary. So so precious. And those baby noises/squeaks! I miss those. :)
    3. Any little success with a newborn is a BIG success. A shower on DAY ONE? You get a gold star.
    4. I'm thinking the definition is different with people too. Sorry Lucy has a cold. :( Poor baby.

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  26. You are doing amazing. I had those same "Is she sleeping through the night?" questions right away as well and was all - DONT TAKE TO ME IF you baby did! evil stare... People are CRAZY! At least to me... You blogger moms of TWO little ones are amazing... I think my kids will be spaced - OH TEN years apart at this rate!

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  27. This is NOT a boring post at all! I am about to have my second baby any day now and these are the things I love to read about! Please keep them coming. Plus, you will love reading over these later on. You are doing an amazing job. I hope Lucy feels better, and you get some rest today! Thank you for posting this.

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  28. I consider a 6 hr stretch without eating STTN. But I think that's only b/c I got up to feed Kate ever 2-3 hours until she was 10 MONTHS OLD!

    And why do we always ask about sleep? I loathed that question with Kate yet I find myself blurting it out to my friends who have just had babies. I can't seem to stop myself from asking "how is baby sleeping?". I annoy myself when I do that. No one wants to talk about it.

    I hope Lucy feels better soon. Poor sweet girl. :(

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  29. Ok I have so many comments for this post.

    Sleeping through the night means at least 8 hours and really more like 10. Where this 5 hour crap came from beats me, that is NOT through the night.

    My 12 weeker is only sleeping about 4 hours still.

    Missing the sleeping in, same here. I use to be able to sleep til 9:30 when my daughter was a newborn but now she's ready to get up at 7:00. The other day I actually slept in the couch while she played the iPad and made a mess out the DVDs, but I didn't really care.

    Getting out the door with two? Yeah it doesnt matter anymore that the toddler looks cute, is she dressed, then let's go!

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  30. LOL...well I love this "boring" real life post. I find it hilarious. Newborn days are all about just surviving.

    I hate the sleeping through the night question. Such judgement right from the start when all you really want to say is "leave me the f alone.". Argh...not looking forward to that again.

    I'm all with you on the fear of forgetting a kid. I am soooo easily distracted and I can just see myself getting caught up in what one of them is doing that I forget about the other one and they wander away. Omg...ok I'm going to just stop thinking about this. I may need medication to have two. And to think, I've always wanted four. Maybe I just need medication in general.

    End of ramble. (Sorry!)

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  31. Everyone is allowed a "real life" post. Plus, people wouldn't have read it if it was boring, and I read the whole thing! :-) I'm with you on sleeping through the night. I don't have kids yet, but if I have to wake up at all, that's not sleeping through the night to me!

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  32. Hang in there momma. You're doing great! Especially for 9 days PP.

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  33. I know it's stressful, but I'm literally laughing out loud because I am totally envisioning our family come January when we have this next one! Hang in there mama, it will get easier (I think! HA)!! Just be sure to encourage me, come January, that I will survive also! HAHA

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  34. Sleeping through the night for me is 7-8hrs. I got lucky (and it was luck because I didn't sleep train) with two good sleepers. Nathan STTN at 10 weeks and Luke at 13 weeks. Which I was so thankful for because I doubt my patients were happy that I was sleep deprived and holding sharp instruments in their mouths! I remember when they start doing a solid 3 hr stretch it got easier for me. Praying for you!

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  35. I love this post because it is what it is! True Life! Not that I would know what it's like with a toddler and an infant, but I can just imagine! I know how tough it can be sometimes with just one toddler. You are rocking this 2 thing though!! Lucy and Eme are such lucky girls!!!

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  36. Surprisingly I've had multiple people tell me that Jackson "slept through the night" because he'd go right back to sleep as a newborn. Um, no! That does not mean mama gets to sleep through the night. Right?!

    ps. You're doing great Katie!! Your girls are beautiful!

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  37. I think you're doing great, lady!! Getting the girls out even to the drive through is huge for all of you!! ... I visited some people I babysit recently right after they had a newborn & the mom said she considered the baby sleeping through the night when he slept 11-4 am. uhhhh .... hiiiiii birth control!

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