My dad and brother were going through a phase where they were losing all sorts of weight. They are men, and so they basically made a small diet change and BAM! weight dropped off them. Just melted off really (stinkin' men). But anyway.
They started feeling good about themselves (as they should!), with the change, and I started to notice that the weight/exercise chatter crept into almost all our conversations, all!the!time! It was irritating back then. Super irritating. Why? Because I was overweight.
That's the truth.
I hated hearing anyone talk about weight loss, working out, getting fit, blah blah freaking blah when I was sitting on my butt doing nothing, and feeling unhappy about myself. I guess I felt some sort of inner turmoil. A conviction really. That ultimately I was the problem. I can only be mad at one person here, and that was myself (at the time). But yet I'd roll my eyes and be all, Do we REALLY have to hear about how you lost another 5lbs this week?
Ultimately. Now? I can completely and utterly see that I was the one with the problem. Not them. They were proud of their accomplishments, and how far they'd come--and yet, in my own unhappiness with how I looked, I had a hard time being happy for them. Twisted, really. But the truth.
So now...I mean, it's different. I'm the one being rah-rah-get-it-gurlll about running, and fitness and weight loss.
And ultimately. I GET IT. I get it now. I'm proud of the weight I lost last year. I'm proud that I did it the old fashion way, good eating and exercise. I am. And I'm proud I'm going to do it again, and am working at it now. I'm proud that I'm running again. And I'm gonna post pictures on instagram after I just finished a good run because hell yea. And I know that's going to annoy people, and that's okay.
Because I get it. I really do. I've been there. I've been the annoyed party. I've been the eye-roller. I've been the, ohmygosh are you really talking about weight loss again thinker.
The thing is this. I know that to some people? It's motivating and not annoying. I admit that I'm more than motivated by social media when it comes to fitness--it's true. When I see one of my friends on a weight loss journey post a picture that she just ran X amount of miles, and I'm feeling like sitting on the couch at naptime? Suddenly I'm all, Dang if she did it, I should, too.
I can't tell you how many times I've been pushed on to keep working out. Ready to stop running and a Nike+ "cheer" comes through my headphones via facebook, and I'm all, Okay push it, go further, Katie, you got this.
Now that I've walked one weight loss & fitness journey, and am currently smack dab in the middle of another? I know how much it means to be encouraged. And I feel awful that selfishly I wasn't able to 'support' my brother and dad back then. Ultimately, it was my own issues coming out. But now? Now I know. I know how much it means to be cheered on, encouraged, how far a you've got this girl goes, and what-not.
I will always support my friends in this way. Always.
Just a few hours ago I got my butt on the treadmill and had intentions of running about 22 minutes. In fact, I didn't even plug a distance in because I didn't want to be 'locked in' in case I wanted out, man. Because my head was telling me, you hate running! Don't do this.
At about 1.75 miles in I knew I was getting close to stopping. A little over 2 miles was my 'goal' today, and I couldn't wait to stop. But for some reason, I just kept thing, how freaking awesome would it be if I JUST KEPT GOING and did a 5K today? I even thought about how fun it would be to get to say, YAY! First 5K post Lucy! and all that. I started thinking about the fact my baby hasn't hit her 2 month birthday yet, and ohmygosh, I could be back to 5K status before then....was it possible?
And then I got in the zone. And just.kept.going. And when I wanted to stop? I told myself how awesome I was. Yep, I totally did. Normally I have negative self talk, it's bad. But today? Nope. And dang-it, I ran that 5K and I did it strong.
I kept thinking of this sign I saw on facebook this week.
I can. and I will. I did.