But I digress.
Because I really want to talk about last night. The good part.
Last night after dinner I decided on a whim that there were some little errands I needed to do before our weekend away for my sisters 30th to make packing day (today) easier.
It would have been easy-as-pie to do said errands alone. Leave the kids with my husband and
run for the hills. But I decided that Emeline's recent behavior was all pointing to one thing: Girlfriend needed some one on one attention.
A short 5 weeks ago she was the only little person in my everyday world. Everything was about her. We did all things together, non-stop, really. So, sometimes I have to stop and remember how much huge!change! this is for her, too. And honestly? I've missed my one on one time with her, too.
So I asked her if she wanted to 'hang out with mommy for a special trip'....and of course, she was THRILLED. Anything with the word special? She's on board for. Always. (can't blame her) Also, I love that running errands to a 2 year old is special, I mean, honestly--we could learn a thing or two from these sweet, simple minded little creatures. They're definitely able to find the joy in the small things--the ones that become chores to us boring adults. But anyway...
We hopped in the car, I buckled her in with a kiss, and the only extra thing I had with me was my purse. It was glorious. We snapped a picture as she was cheering in the backseat, "I hang out with mommy! A special trip! YAY!" and we turned the music up.
Lately our car rides with baby sister have been dreadful. She hates the car. It's pretty much the one place she screams incessantly as if she's being murdered. I have no idea why, but it certainly takes the fun aspect out of going anywhere (also, feel bad for me that we are traveling for a few hours this afternoon, with both kids....I need ear plugs. No. Really).
It was within minutes, seconds, really that Emeline and I were having one of our signature car-dance-parties, complete with arm waving, car-seat dancing, full-on-yelling-the-words-loud, and passer-by'ers looking at you like WTF. But we didn't care. The smiles were plastered. I felt joy in my bones. I'm certain she did, too.
We must have ran to about 4 different places. I forgot the ease of just one semi-independent kid. I admit my perspective has changed since having another. How a quick unbuckle and you're off to go. No finagling huge diaper bags. No making sure you didn't forget the infant. Real conversations with a toddler who can chat back with you, and not having to worry about doing it all while shushing/tapping/calming an overtired baby, for example. It was undivided attention for my girl, and we both really, really needed it.
Her wit and humor made my night. Constantly being silly, saying adorable things, hugging me and kissing my cheeks saying, "I hang out with mommy, so much fun!" and making me so glad I didn't just go alone.
I let her pick whatever she wanted from the dollar store for a 'special treat', and she picked the ugliest, I mean, prettiest, most obnoxious, I mean, adorable, purple sparkly pony I've ever seen. It made her smile and at that moment, for a buck, that's all that mattered. It made me smile on the inside.
I had grand plans of stopping to get ice cream with her--something we've always deemed as a really special thing---but time go the best of us. I only had time to make a quick stop at a convenient store, but did that matter to her? Not even in the slightest bit. After all, she got a blue icee out of the deal. And I didn't even care about giving her all that sugar before bedtime, because, who cares, we don't get to do this much anymore.
On our drive home, between our loud rocking-out-jam-sessions, she and I exchanged lots of sweet smiles. I'd look back and tickle her legs. I told her how special it was for mommy to hang out with Emeline alone. How much I love her, and what a big girl she is. How proud I was of her for being so well behaved out so late, and just how much I enjoyed being together.
She acted as if she understood everything I was saying--and I honestly think she did. It didn't matter to her what we did together. The fact that we were running necessary errands for momma, boring stuff, really. It didn't matter that we could only hit up the convenient store instead of Dairy Queen--we were spending quality time together, and that's all that mattered. I could learn a thing or two from this girl, I'm telling you.
On the way home she told me she was going to tell daddy how much fun we had. And then quickly followed that up with...."and baby Lucy, and Mac-a-boy, too!" Because we can't forget anyone, of course.
I smiled a ton last night. Everything about our time together was so pleasant, and undistracted, and really just so fun.
Doing this kind of thing everyday with Emeline was my old normal. But since it's not anymore--it made it all the more special.
It wasn't about what we did together--it was just about being together, and I was reminded of that last night.
I don't know when I'll be back around here. Between going away tonight and then starting back to work on Monday, it might take a little bit to let the dust settle. But, we'll be back...eventually.