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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Change the way I see

Sometimes I find it so easy to focus on the negative. The little, naggy things that are going on around me, that feel like in the moment are bringing me down, stressing me out, and making life difficult. But sometimes I need to check myself. Because it's ridiculous.

Last night I was brought back down to my knees again, asking for forgiveness for being so freaking selfish, thinking of myself, and not allowing my heart to live in a state of gratitude. I talk about this subject often because it's one I think about often, need to work on daily, and need to be intentional about living this way. And yet I fail, often. Lots of times.

Don't get me wrong. There's so much hardship in the world. There's so many awful, pressing, life-altering situations. There's so many illnesses and diseases that plague families. There's spouses that are separating. Ladies dealing with infertility. There's death, unexpected death, and the grief that comes with it. And sick babies. And awful financial situations. And really.hard.things going on all the time, just to name a few. And it sucks. These situations suck, they rock us, they shake us, they're the dark storm, if you will.

There are legit reasons to feel negative, to feel awful--to feel hopeless. Trust me when I say, I get that, I so get it.

Last night before bed I was reading about a woman who's been sick for a long time. A long, long, time. Bed-ridden. She has a child. A husband. Yet she's known no real life outside her bedroom for years. My heart just sunk. Reading about how much she ached to just feel the sunshine on her face. About how she longed to take her kid to the first day of school. And I literally stopped dead in my tracks and had a self-talk---, I'm an idiot. A complete idiot. Get it together, Katie-.

I need to get back to relishing in the moments. Nothing is hindering me from enjoying them and yet sometimes I just let them pass me by. And it shouldn't have to take me reading about a situation like that to make me realize the things I take for granted in life. It really shouldn't and shame on me, seriously.

I need to start seeing differently.

I need to see that pacifiers and endless baby stuff lying around my house is a blessing not an annoyance, and a sign that I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I need to see that my cute little decorative pumpkins that were supposed to make sophisticated little candle centerpieces are now adorned with toddler scribbles, adorable little toddler drawings. I need to see that the fingerprints all over my toilet seat of my 3 foot by 5 foot powder room means I have a healthy, learning toddler--just moving along in this process of growing up.

God, help me change the way I see.


I am a continual work in progress.


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24 comments:

  1. It's so easy to get caught up in the frustrations of the every day mom life... good for you for recognizing that you need to step back and appreciate. I do too, it will be part of my prayers for today, for both you and me. Thanks for writing this.

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  2. I feel ya sister! Thank you for writing this! I feel like I need a big post it on my face at all times!

    "CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOU CHANGE YOUR WORLD!"

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  3. Amen lady! It's so true. It's easy to get caught up in every day and forget what really matters, we all do it. I know I do!

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  4. Oh, Katie, I'm so grateful for this post! My heart has been so heavy this week for a blog friend who has lost her husband unexpectedly. And I have felt so bad and selfish that it has taken a situation like this to open my eyes to thank god for my husband, daughter, family, friends, and all the imperfections that make up my life! I mean I'm grateful, but do I let them know it or do I say it enough? It's the little things...for example I've been telling myself not to get irriated when my husband is late getting home from work, just be thankful I have a husband that is coming home from work...better late than never! Thank you for sharing, good to know we are not alone! And making us realize that the little things that can get us so upset are really blessings from God.

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  5. Yesterday a lady came into the parking lot at work, she was in a wheelchair and she had the biggest smile! My coworker said, "And we have the nerve to complain about petty stuff!" Yep.....makes you think.

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  6. I think most people can relate to this. It's so easy to get caught up in the all the little petty things that we forget to see the big picture. I think it's something I will always be working on. I will never be perfect, but at least I'm trying to be better.

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  7. What a great post! I often have to remind myself of how very lucky I really am, hardships and all.

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  8. Thank you for the reminder. I needed it. Even though I'm an optimist, I still get frustrated in the heat of the moment, instead of just SLOWING DOWN, SMILING, EVEN LAUGHING. I'll say a prayer for you today.

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  9. I needed to read this today. Thanks!

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  10. *sigh* Yes. This. Exactly what I needed.

    As I was up at 5am this morning, I was thinking and silently praying to the Lord for patience w/ the boys today. Patience, in general. Something that I really and truly need to work on. Just be a "fun Mom" today and take all things in stride.

    Have a great day, Momma. xx

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  11. You're onto something here. I can definitely focus on the negative instead of the positive. I think that's just how my brain is. It takes a lot of work for me to see the good.

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  12. Yes. So beautiful, true and real. Thank you.

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  13. I think that most of us are guilty of this. I need to live in the moment and enjoy everything. I need to always try to see the good in everything. When I am up at night with a sleepless baby I try to be thankful for my sleepless baby. Some people never get a baby. I know my baby will be too big for that rocking chair all too soon!

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  14. Amen and amen! I'm also a work in progress on this. So Thankful for God's grace!

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  15. what a post to read today! I am on bed rest at 29 weeks pregnant and was complaining about everything... but it could always always be worse.. I have a baby still growing inside of me. thank you for your words.

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  16. Preach it girl! I have to constantly remind myself to count my blessings because there are so many. You are right though, it is WAY to easy to get caught up in life's little bumps and it is something we all need to work on. Great post!

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  17. Love this. Thanks for the perspective.

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  18. So true. I was just talking to my husband last night about this as well. So many of the things I complain about are actually blessings. It's all about perspective. I've been doing the 31 day thing and focusing on Happiness and it has definitely made me think about they way I define it and be more intentional about making things better.

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  19. I love the quote 'change your thoughts and you can change your world!' Have you heard of the book Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer? It gives great insight into how our thoughts effect our feelings!

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  20. I've been feeling this way a lot recently. I def. needed to read this. :-)

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  21. Yes.

    That's when I kick myself right in the arse. We all need a little nudge once in a while :)

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  22. Aren't we all?! (a work in progress, that is...)

    Sometimes I need a wake-up call like that too. I have been better lately about realizing that yes, all the wheeled things in my garage taking up space and "junking up" the place are because I have THREE healthy children who can ride and push them. :)

    Thanks for the reminder Katie... xo

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  23. I absolutely love your blog! We also have a 2.5 year old daughter and another wee girl due on New Years Eve and I can relate to every one of your posts. Its like reading my thoughts written down. Its wonderful to read along with another Mums parenthood journey that sounds so similar to my own. Keep up the amazing blog. Penny from Auckland, New Zealand xxx

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