I'm trying so hard to put into words what I really want to say this morning--but I'm struggling. The words just aren't coming out coherently--and aren't accurately expressing what's inside me today. I've deleted this sentence 300 times already. So bear with me, choppy waters ahead.
I'm sad. I woke up heavy and burden bearing for my friends and family around me that in the last few days have experienced awful and emotionally painful situations. My heart hurts, a lot, and sometimes I just don't know what to do with it. Sometimes I don't know how to be the best friend or support I can be, when I'm dying for them to know how much I care.
I just keep praying for Jesus to continue to carry them. Hold them. Comfort them and give them peace. Because I don't know what else to say or pray and it's times like this when you realize that all you have is the power to pray for someone. And I mean ALL in the all-encompassing-that's-all-that-really-matters-anyway way.
Because the truth is, nothing I can say or do can fix anything. I can be there. In heart. In mind. In encouraging text messages. I can send flowers. For some, I can physically be there. To talk to, vent to, cry to. But I still feel helpless. And that's because ultimately I am.
The only person who can carry my friends and family through these situations is Jesus. And I know He is.
I'm starting to realize that the real power in being there for those around me, who are hurting, going through hard situations--is to really lift them up, to really pray for them. We're so quick to say it, I'll pray for you, but you have to remember to do it. The real power is knowing that ultimately, you can't fix anything. You love them where they're at. In the sorrow. In the brokenness. In the anger. In the agony. And then you let God work.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
On the outside, point blank--looking at situations, when friends and family are hurting--it seems so stormy. So hard to navigate. So hopeless.
But in the end, I have to to trust that just as the verse above says, even the darkest, heaviest situations will be worked together for good.
And so I just keep praying.