I'm glad you finally decided to show up, considering on Wednesday I thought it was Friday, then on Thursday I thought it was Friday again. That made for a really, really long week ya know?
I really need a calendar
Dear Anyone Who thinks my life looks rainbows & butterflies all the time,
First of all, HAHAHA *gasping for breath* hahahahahahaha.
Just half hour ago my dog pooped on the steps and the only reason I knew? Was because my toddler was screaming "Oh nooo! Ennamine stepped in Mac poop! MOMMY! POOP ON MY FOOT, OH NO! HELP!!!!!!"
Yea. Just pause and reflect on how awesome that was. Not.
Meanwhile I'm nursing Lucy and trying to get the kid to sleep, so I have to rip my poor crying baby off the boob, put her in the crib (which she basically thinks is a torture device), and go, ahem, take care of that situation.
Once Em was cleaned up and I'm scrubbing my bleepity-bleep carpets with resolve for the umpteenth time this week, she hears Lucy crying and starts BANGING on the nursery door, "LUCY, It's Ennamine! I said NO CRY-NING!!!!"
So you can imagine how naptime went.
You know you want my life (ha.hahahahaha)
Dear Sleep Training/Scheduling/Stuff I'm awful at,
The *thought* of you sounded so good yesterday. I thought, I got this, I can put my baby on a schedule, easy peasy. When my husband questioned me, like, Kate, are you really sure? I was all, pshhh, yeaaaa. Momma needs sleep.
The actual doing it part? Totally different story. Yea. I suck. We failed at it within the first 10 minutes. I basically cannot stand to hear my kids even whimper let alone cry for 5 minutes. My heart is literally pained and I'm done. I'm done. I've just come to the conclusion that I'll be a half-functioning human being for...umm, ever? And I don't even care. My heart cannot handle that. At all. Also, I'm gonna stop giving myself a hard time that my kid only wants to sleep in her swing for naps. Crib naps? HA. Ha. ha. She laughs in the face of crib naps.
I'll sleep again when I'm dead
Dear Self prior to having children,
Why didn't you work out more before you had kids? Do you know how much easier it would have been to just get out there and run, without coordinating naptimes and feedings, or waking up at the butt-crack of dawn?
You really should have taken advantage of that time, sister.
Another workout ruined by my infant