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Thursday, November 8, 2012

A good mom fail (or two) & holy dentist hater batman.

Yesterday, I was the mom who sent her kid to preschool with just a winter jacket and no mittens or hat. I totally got 'scolded' by the teachers with a cubby-note for this and my poor baby had freezing fingers during playground time. I felt like such a loser. I wonder if I'm labeled already as the delinquent mother?  To my defense (ha!), I honestly thought they'd keep them inside and didn't realize there was a "rule" about rain being the only thing that keeps them indoors. Since she started late, I totally missed all that info. Andplusalso, she was wearing TWO hoods (one on her sweater, one on the jacket...helllooooo USE THAT.)

But, also. Yesterday? Chance for snow. And this weekend? 60 degrees. SO REALLY---? I mean...? It's kind of confusing to stay on top of weather to dress your kid properly all the time, just saying.

I was also told I was not allowed to send her in TOMS again. So long, fashion. Preschool wants you in "grippy" shoes, m'dear.

Mom fails all around. I should start charging for these, I'd be rich.

***

If you know me, you'd know the dentist is not my friend. I'd rather go to the va-jay-jay doctor a million times over than go to the dentist once. Ick. There's just something about the dentists that...they just come off...so....high and mighty. OK OK, I mean, they're allowed to, BUT STILL. They're all Floss more! Blah blah. You know, in that tone. And I hate leaving with a sore mouth. And dry mouth. AND I NEED TO SWALLOW, OMG I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE. (I am a bit dramatic about this, but...yes...I don't like the dentist, mmk?)

Anyway. I have always been an every 6 month'er dentist kid/teen/adult. Then the occasional go in for a little cavity fix. I've always been prone to little cavities here and there (don't you dare blame candy or I'll throat punch). It just was the story of my life.

Even though I've always hated the dentist, I've always had a really good report for the most part. A little cavity here or there, but they always blamed that on having soft white teeth, and I always got ooh'ed and ahh'ed over that "She never had braces! But look how great her teeth are anyway!", and the dentists used to always say, "great job with your flossing!" (when I secretly didn't do it but once a week...MAYBE). I felt like I duped them, it was awesome.

Anyway. The gist of the story is, after I left my teaching job after having Emeline, I lost my dental insurance. Womp womp, right? But--secretly I was kind of glad. I hate the dentist! Yay! I'll just use money as an excuse and never go! And then, time slipped by like whoa. And self-care? Yea, that goes out the window when you're a mom of two kids. And finding babysitting to go get your teeth checked? Um, if I have a babysitter, I'd rather go to target. How cruel to use babysitting time to go to the dentist.

But I finally knew I HAD TO. My new insurance kicked in October 1st, and I had a tooth bothering me. Well, yesterday was the day. And holy mother of I-still-hate-the-dentist.

After all the fancy x-rays and digital images and 'assessment of my teeth', I just let out a big sigh and said out loud to the dentist and hygienist, "I FEEL LIKE I FAILED A TEST".

It's like 2 years of not going totally ganged up on me and kicked my butt yesterday. It was bad. I'm like THE WORST teeth grinder ever (hello stress, and headaches, and yes I knew this was an issue), and one experience with a bad dentist has led to some fillings breaking out, needing repair, and a......wait for it.......potential root canal. FOR THE LOVE. Not only that but he felt and apparently I have some jaw issues or something and he even used the words, "that's not normal" when he felt me open and close. FABULOUS.

In the end, they both assured me though, that even though it all seemed kind of bad, it really wasn't. Everything looked pretty decent and once I get a few teeth fixed up, I'll be good as new. But still?

Awful way to spend a few kid-free hours. And I will never, ever go 2 years without a dentist appointment again. I can't believe people go their whole life without visiting the dentist. Can't imagine what their first visit must be like.

***

Anyone have a good mom-fail story? Or dentist-hating story for me? Anyone else loathe the dentist like I do?

I don't know what it is...but that place just has me clawing the walls with anxiety.

***

Is it Friday yet?

42 comments:

  1. Oh Katie come onnnnnn, not all dentists are bad ;) And root canal? Really? Boo to that. Pretty sure I'll need some work once I get back TO work. Small cavity I know I have, etc. and you should have taken Eme with you! Did you ask about an appt for her?

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  2. Oh.my.gosh.
    I am so terrified of the dentist that I haven't been....in a way too long.
    I also have "soft" teeth which contributes to cavities....and the feelings of guilt/embarrasment that I feel when I go.
    I had a bad experience when I was in high school; a dentist filled 2 cavities yet I walked out looking bruised and swollen like I had my wisdom teeth pulled.
    Had to have a Xanex before every appt (with a new dentist!) after that.
    I can't stand the sucky thing, or the water shooter, and the worst thing ever-the styrofoam peanuts they shove in between your lips and your gums!
    Ick!
    Okay, now I'm hyperventilating.
    PS: itty bitty mom fails like that are what make good stories later when we have grandchildren. :)

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  3. I haven't been to the dentist since I was 16 (before you freak out I am 18 now)and thats mainly because the school dental system (yes in Australia we have that) stops when you turn 16. I probably need to book an appointment but me and dentists aren't friends either (apparently they have the highest career sucide rate). I have had one filling and that is it never needed braces or anything extra which has been awesome :)
    As for forgetting Eme's mittens and hat don't blame yourself, my Mum has forgotten to give us lunches at school (she has even forgotten her own at times!) its all apart of being a Mum :)

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  4. Dude I work at the school where the boys go & I still feel like they're all high & mighty about things. M came home covered in paint & I got scolded for sending him in a "nice" shirt. Sorry I don't send my kid to school in pajamas! He has nice clothes (mostly cheap from Target but I still don't want them ruined!) or pajamas. I mean- who lets a two year old paint with no paint shirt on?!

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  5. I haven't been to the dentist in a little over a year and I'm dreading my next appointment (when I actually make one!) I just know that it's going to be a bunch of little things that freak me out when I go. I can't stand the x-rays or them prodding in my mouth or blowing air on my teeth. Ugh, I'm getting the heeby geebees just thinking about it.

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  6. i had to comment, because i'm so terrified of the dentist and one of my biggest gripes is when someone says "well, of course, no one likes the dentist."
    totally feel your pain. it was after i had my kids that i really started getting serious about going to the dentist regularly. my secret? anti-anxiety meds. they have been my lifesaver. even for cleanings-told ya i was terrified. i'm actually going next week for my cleaning and just got my rx filled to take before hand.
    just wanted to let you know you're not along (there's even a website-dentalfears.org, if you want more support!)
    :)
    oh, and ps, i've had 2 root canals and they really aren't bad-just annoying to have to keep your mouth open for a while. but not painful at all. again, conscious sedation is your friend!

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  7. Ugh I am the exact. same. way about the dentist! In like I hate everything about it and the tools make me twitchy... and the noises and AHHH. I cringe just thinking about it. I just went back after 2 years. I had put it off but after my pregnancy my teeth were SO sensitive and I knew I had to. It was just as bad as I remembered :(

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  8. I *used* to be a dentist hater. Like had-to-hold-me-down-as-a-child dentist hater. I blame it on the fact that my teeth were all kinds of messed up & I had to have a bunch of dental work when I was a kid/teenager. Now, if someone tells me I have nice teeth, I say thank you, and then add, "Well they should be nice, I'm pretty sure my parents had to take out a 2nd mortgage to get them that way." Then as an adult, I went to my parents' dentist, and the guy was a total skeeze!!! Think: smoothing out the front of your t-shirt to "read" it... & putting his hand on your knee while talking to you. Nooooo thank you. A few years ago, my sister said that one of her classmates was a dentist now in a town about 30 minutes away, and it is worth EVERY SINGLE MILE. He's young (30s), relaxed (plays Bob Marley in his exam room), & he talks you through EVERYTHING. I am a strong believer now that the dentist makes the entire experience!

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  9. Ready for my novella?

    My stepmom works for the government so she gets excellent insurance and we were on it. But we could only go to one dentist - a dentist SHE chose.
    So the time came when I had to get my wisdom teeth removed when I was 18 and the dentist assured my mom that he would be able to do it, no need for an oral surgeon. My mom set up the appointment, making sure there would be an Anesthesiologist there to knock me out.
    The dreadful day came, and we arrived at the dentist. They took me in the back and started numbing my mouth. In about a half an hour, I had this moronic dentist all up on me - crushing and ripping my bottom wisdom tooth out with all his might. I was screaming and crying. So he stopped and went and got my mom and was yelling at HER to tell me to stop crying because he couldn't finish with all my snot and slobber!!! My mom was so mad she told him to finish up with the tooth he was working on and we were getting the H out of there.
    It was horrible.
    When I got home, he didn't give me strong enough pain killers so it was agony for hours - until they called in something stronger and it took effect.
    PS. my tolerance for pain is about that of a gnat.
    In the end, my mom took me to an oral surgeon who removed my remaining 3 wisdom, knocked me out cold and all. It was not pleasant but it certainly was not the tortuous experience I had the first time around.
    The dentist my husband and I go to now is good and I actually have an appointment on Monday for my 6 months cleaning (that is about 6 months late)
    My husband has had WAY worse experiences with quack dentists then me - like having a piece of the scraper break off in his tooth and then his face swelling with infection from it - yeah HORRIBLE! He is still working on getting that tooth fixed.
    So now that I have probably written the longest comment ever - I will end with this quick story...
    When I was 14 and getting my braces removed after having them for 2 years - the entire time the orthodontist was hovering over me, removing each bracket - there was a nasty booger hanging out of his nose! The entire time I was just watching it, making sure it did not fall in my wide open mouth.
    :-)

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  10. LoL, they definitely should have used one of the two hoods!! C'mon! My son attends preschool 2.5 hrs 3 days a week, and I just found out yesterday that they are still sending them outside to play!! I saw him on the playground when I was picking up yesterday, in his coat but no hat! He's 3....ya might need to help him a little when going outside to play?!?! That bugged me a little! I'm sure they don't think you are a bad mom over a hat!!! lol. Our preschool also has weird issues with certain kinds of shoes. They even went as far to say that the kids could basically only wear sweat pants because of using the potty?!?! I don't follow that rule. He can handle jeans sometimes!! LOL

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  11. For sure have forgotten even the JACKET before....this morning I was all "oh yea a hat" but we havn't ever taken mittens. She just pulls them off.

    And one time? My old dentist didn't believe me when I told him I thought the Novocaine was wearing off and I *may* have smacked him in the face when he hit a nerve.....

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  12. Oh I feel you. We recently just got dental insurance again, but I'm still putting off going because IT'S BEEN SO LONG AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO YELL AT ME!!

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  13. I hear ya on the dentist thing. Last time I went was about 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my first. I had a cavity but they couldn't fill it correctly because I couldn't have the numbing shot. So I've been living with the temporary filling since then because I couldn't bring myself to go back. A couple weeks ago I had part of a back tooth break off. Thankfully, I've had no pain from it but I haven't gone in to the dentist yet because I know they can't completely fix it anyway since I'm 37 weeks pregnant this time. I know I HAVE to go in after this baby is born but boy howdy, I'm dreading it!
    Why does the dentist have to be such an awful thing???

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  14. I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in 5 years!!! I am so terrified of the dentist I would rather push another baby out of my vagina than go to the dentist...I think I might have told the dentist that too. We 2 deep cleanings and a cavity fill later.....I am STILL terrified. My teeth are super sensitive and they will bleed and bleed. Ugh, and some people can never go and have perfect teeth, too bad I am not one of them.
    Don't worry about the mittens thing. I once forgot to bring my son diapers and they had to use some from their "spare" box and they totally scolded me! Sorry I have a full time job and other things on my mind. Geez :) We all have those moments.

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  15. Love love this post!!

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a root canal soon. Like you, the dentist has always said I have "soft teeth," but I've had a cavity fall out twice now and I'm pretty sure the next time it is a root canal. I think "next time" came on Halloween as I ate a laughy taffy (hello, stereotype!). Maybe if I pretend it didn't happen, I'll never have to deal with it. Ha!

    Good luck!

    P.S. Toms won't stay on Sam's feet, and I want them to soooo bad!! When did E start wearing them?

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  16. TOMs are a dangerous shoe? That is too funny. I taught preschool for 10 years and i had some parents who sent their kids to school in...NO shoes. tank tops, sweat pants and cowboy boots - in January. So you are not on top of the fail list....yet. Ha :-)

    I hate the dentist too! I have a MAJOR cavity that I justify not getting fixed because it is the wisdom tooth they want to pull anyway. Cant it just fall out like my 6 year olds, I will ask J for a dollar and call this thing good? Oiii.

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  17. I sent my daughter to daycare a few days ago with no mitts, only her indoor shoes, and forgot her medicated cream for a horrible diaper rash. Mom fail.
    I fail when it comes to the dentist. I just went for a potential root canal this week, but it ended up being a filling. I won't even tell you how much more work I need done, because it's embarrasing. But you're probably in a better boat than I am when it comes to needing work. All because I'm addicted to sugar, and used to despise flossing :(

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  18. My mom and MIL are both hygienists. In fact, they both worked in the same office for a while when Adam and I were in high school. I grew up with my mom cleaning my teeth so no big deal. However, when we lost teeth? That was no fun. My mom would have her tools at home and she would wake us up.. still sleepy.. and just yank the teeth out. Thanks, ma!

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  19. I hate to tell you this, but you are going to hear the grippy shoe story for many years to come. I am still preaching it to my third graders. :)

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  20. I HATE the dentist with a passion as well. I am not much of a soda drinker or a candy eater but I always manage to get cavities and such. I always go to the dentist but I dread it the entire time. Glad to know I am not alone!

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  21. I didn't go to the dentist for two years and that bit me in the ass BIG TIME. I ended up with a root canal and a crown. UGH.

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  22. I HATE the dentist seriously don't like it one bit. And I have to go next week which I am not excited about. I think I have a couple cavities that need to be filled too that they couldn't fill while I was pregnant. Lame, can't i use breastfeeding as an excuse too? No? I feel yah on the mom fails too, hang in there not everyday is a bad one :)

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  23. I get Hadley dressed for outside with coat, hat, mittens and then I let her out and I meet her out in a couple of minutes and I'd say at least half the time she has her coat off, hat off, shoes off and I've even found her with pants and diaper off when it's 45 degrees and she doesn't even care. I swear kids can't feel the cold so I'm sure Emeline was totally fine. Prior to having kids I was totally that judgy teacher like why don't you dress your kids appropriately. Being a mom is making me a much better teacher.

    And the dentist? Hate it. I would rather give birth, no lie. I had to get a pretty massive cavity filled for the first time in 10 years and I had so much anxiety my shirt and pants were soaked with sweat when I left. Thank goodness I was wearing black! The dentist told ,e next time he will prescribe me some Xanax and if I ever need a root canal I will be pairing my Xanax with a bottle of wine. Seriously giving brith gives me much less anxiety...recovery is a little more difficult but still.

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  24. I hate the dentist!! I haven't been in about two years because I don't have insurance right now but I'm scared to go back when I do get insurance. :(

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  25. Feel exactly the same about the dentist! Even told him I'd rather go to the gyno!! He looked at me like I was nuts!!

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  26. Um, I get anxiety just THINKING about going to the dentist. Like major. Did you know they have the highest suicide rate among all doctor specialties? I bet it's because everyone hates them. Ha!!!

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  27. your dentist stuff had me laughing out loud. why? because i am that bad if not worse. I could have written that entire first paragraph. give me a lady bits examination once a week for the rest of my life if i never had to step foot in another dentists office.

    in high school i had a psychology class and for some reason the room smelled the same as a dentists office and it made me shiver every single day as i walked in.

    i hate the dentist like whoa. especially when i gotta swallow. the worst.

    ugh. i'm dreading my next trip after thinking about this...

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  28. I like my dentist and normal hygienist...BUT...I, too, went to the dentist 2 days ago...and for the first time in, oh, 5 years, had a NEW hygienist (temporary, I hear, thank GOD). She was SO ROUGH and made my gums bleed like cah-razy. She told me 3 times that I had gorgeous, strong teeth, then told me 3 times that my gums were bleeding "sooo much," but it "might be pregnancy gingivitis" (umm, or you jabbing my gums with that needle thingy). THEN, she asked if I whitened. I told her no, that I heard it wasn't safe during pregnancy. She told me I'd be a "good candidate for professional whitening," then proceeded to tell me she could tell I had done some whitening along the lines. Uh...no? Most confusing, old lady hygienist ever...and my gracious, so harsh. I wanted to cry. I really, truly did. You would've lost it. I almost did. :P

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  29. i was just at the dentist today ... the only reason i went is because i lost part of a tooth from a cracked tooth. dang it!! so i went in - they said they'd have to do a crown and asked if i wanted to schedule an appointment for that. i told them that if they didn't do it today, i'd make the appt but cancel many times over until i finally came in. 3 1/2 hours later, they're installing the crown and flossing in between it to check the fit. they accidentally pulled another crown off. egads!! so they installed that, too - but the numbing stuff was wearing off and oh my goodness, it KILLED! they prescribed me vicodin, thankfully. my poor right side was all puffy. :(

    i have soft teeth - brush them at least 2 x a day, sometimes more, and STILL get cavities. i hate going to the dentist. so much that they put "might need halidol" on my chart ... i get so anxious!!

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  30. You said you can't imagine what a first dental appt is like for those who never go. Well I'll tell ya- there's a variety of first dental visits. Working as a hygienist for a low income clinic it's common for me to see say...a 50 yr old who's never been. Sometimes they only have a few cavities (sometimes nome)...sometimes it's every tooth. And sometimes they have so much buildup it entirely covers parts of their teeth! I love it though- those dirty mouths- which just reinforces that A) I'm crazy and B) God made me to be a hygienist.

    I'm proud of you for going back. TMJ problems are so common- you're definitely not alone. Did they recommend a biteguard? I'm a grinder too and probably need one but I just haven't. Anyways, let me know if you have any dental questions.

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  31. I was told Emmy couldn't wear Toms to school either...aren't they more comfortable than most shoes?! Oh well. And I avoid the dentist as much as possible too:)

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  32. SO funny because I've never had issues with the dentist at all...like ever. But I LOATHE the va-jay-jay doctor, haha!!!!!!

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  33. I'm not sure anyone loves going to the dentist; it's not high on my list of loves. But that is extra sucky about the problems you're having! I can't imagine. Hearing the doc say that "it's not normal" - not something you want to hear! I hope he can get everything taken care of without too much pain and hassle.

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  34. I'm a grinder too. I buy mouth guards at target. My jaw is messed up and they wanted to do surgery to repair it. Which would mean breaking my jaw and having it wired shut. Uh, no thank you.

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  35. So I guess you wouldn't like how I posted once that going to the dentist is close to the spa for me?? I kinda like it. All fresh and clean teeth! YAY!

    But I have a child that already hates it so I get it, sorta.

    Oh and my Mom fail list is too long for your comment section... ;p

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  36. Love this post! I absolutely hate going to the dentist, especially the cleaning part. Every time I get my teeth cleaned I always get very nervous. Getting the fillings doesn't bother me (it's because of the numbing shot). I wish they could use the numbing shot when my teeth are cleaned, maybe then I wouldn't be so nervous.

    My mom fail list is at an all time high right now, too many list! LOL!

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  37. The shoes and hats? No your not the only one. Teachers only get frustrated when its multiple times and the kids complain (at least that was me).

    I loathe the dentist. I'm not even going to admit to how long its been for me. I'm a little (okay a lot) ashamed. I'm a serious gagger, non flosser, and overall dentist hater and I will blame that on my not so nice childhood dentist.

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  38. The shoes and hats? No your not the only one. Teachers only get frustrated when its multiple times and the kids complain (at least that was me).

    I loathe the dentist. I'm not even going to admit to how long its been for me. I'm a little (okay a lot) ashamed. I'm a serious gagger, non flosser, and overall dentist hater and I will blame that on my not so nice childhood dentist.

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  39. My husband is sick and slept in the guest room last night. My 3 year old woke up at 5:30 am and would not go back to sleep. After an hour of attempting (and bribing pancakes and park) to get her to sleep, I told her she could go play quietly in her room. She does this often - it gives us the extra 15-20 minutes needed to wake up. But I fell back in to a deep sleep and woke up an hour later. Her bedroom door was closed. When I opened it I was hit with the most toxic odor, and then I saw it..my child wearing nothing but a shirt, every inch of her body covered in an entire bottle of purple nail polish. Dried. She had applied it with a paint brush. The worst was her face. It took 1.5 hours of soaking in the tub, mixed with lettin baby oil lotion loosen the polish. She's mostly polish free and I will never make the mistake of leaving nail polish within reach.

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  40. Dude. My teeth suck. I have a water pick, a sonic care toothbrush, I floss AND use fluoride but lately I've been having one issues after another. For example: I just had my third root canal in a month and a half. Yeah. That was awesome. (Upside: it's broken me of my fear of the dentist).

    My best suggestion is to find a dentist you LOVE. I don't enjoy going to the dentist (although it's nice I don't have the anxiety I used to), but I really like my dentist as a person and he's always very nice and patient with me (as is the staff). That makes a WORLD of difference. Trust me.

    Upside for you: it's a good time of year to get all this work done because your dental insurance will probably reset in January and at least you get your money's worth!

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  41. No TOMS at school?? That's crazy!

    Umm, I went to the dentist while I was still on my parents insurance 5 years ago and FINALLY went this past spring. Turns out, I needed two wisdom teeth out so I had to do that this summer. Ugh. I Hate the dentist.

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  42. hate hate hate the dentist. i also had pretty heathly teeth and gums, straight enough for never having braces. and we visited the dentist every 6 months until the combination of mom losing our insurance and a horrible young dentist that had no bed-side manners. fast forward 14 YEARS of not seeing a dentist ...
    mrb and i were thinking about starting our family and i knew healthy gums were important. so i researched dentists that were compassionate, have soft hands, etc.
    i literally had tears running down my face the first time i sat in the chair but knew it had to be done, and i wouldnt die. clean bill of health (thank goodness! dont know what i would have done if i had a cavity!!) ive been a biggirl and scheduled every 6 months since then, but still have such anxiety and clench my fists so hard i leave with ring indentations and loss of circulation in my fingers. ugh. why do dentists suck so bad?

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