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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Some sibling feelings.

I remember back when we were first throwing around the idea of having a 2nd baby, and I was all ohmygosh I can't love another the baby the same, it's not possible. I felt like my poor, first child would be scarred forever with the addition of another kid who would surely rip quality time away from her abruptly.

And oh, that poor second child would surely get gypped. They'd get less attention, because of course the demanding toddler would take precedence, right? Life would be so awful for them, surely, I thought.

Then I got pregnant. Despite those irrational fears that creep in, I still knew in my gut it would be okay.

But it wasn't until I saw both my babies together that I knew, all that garbage? Was, in fact, garbage.

And honestly, now--there are times I feel bad that Emeline had such a boring baby life (stick with me, here). I mean, Lucy is entertained non-stop. She has this bouncy little 3 foot person to constantly entertain her, laugh at, bring her toys, pull her hair, clap for, dance with, giggle with--and, you get it.

Second babies get less love? Not.true. They get more, in fact. More attention, even. They're blessed with sibling love--none of which Emeline got to experience as a baby. And, well--I'm pretty darn sure Lucy has a pretty great life, smushed in there as the 2nd kid.


Emeline's life as big sister? Well, she has a good gig, too. Constantly someone smaller to pick on love on, boss around, and tickle obsessively. She has someone who think she's pretty much amazing, laughs at her nonstop, and is always there for a sister pick-me-up.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is--all my initial fears were a little irrational. It didn't matter how many people told me that I'd be able to love each kid fully, with my whole heart, the same. It didn't matter if people told me that a sibling was the best gift I could give Emeline, and it wouldn't take anything away from her. I had to experience it all for myself.


I know their relationship will grow and change with time. We'll have phases where I want to pull my hair out. Phases where I'm sure my heart will bust with pride. Phases where I'll cry myself to sleep and promise the other that you'll love each other one day, again. But, right now--it's so good.

Both my kids lives are enhanced, enriched by the other. And that's a gift.

The gift of siblings.

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31 comments:

  1. Beautifully written Katie and Oh so true! Our 2 1/2 year old looks at her almost 6 year old brother like her personal entertainment. He lives to make her belly laugh. I know you and your siblings probably feel the same way about each other too. :)

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  2. This post makes me want a sister for Olivia ...now. I'm an only child and my husband has 2 sisters so we've wavered with the thought of a second child for a while now. While now isnt the right time for us, maybe in the future. Your girls are just so sweet.

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  3. Aw, what a sweet post. I'm going through this right now as we start thinking about number 2. Realistically I know I'll love the next one just as much, but sometimes it's hard to imagine. And sometimes I don't WANT to think about loving another kid as much because I don't want to take anything away from my first baby. It's nice to read that someone else had these feelings and it all worked out okay! Your girls look so sweet together and it looks like you're doing great with two!

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  4. Needed to hear this today! We are wrestling and praying about our potential second child...Thanks for this! :)

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  5. Such a very sweet post and very thoughtful. I have 2 younger sisters and while I may have not always wanted them around growing up I know now without a doubt that I could not live my life without them, I just couldn't do it! I really love your perspective here and I have honestly never thought of the second child having more love, you always hear people voice concerns of not getting enough attention but you are so right, they are extra blessed! Thanks for sharing your precious girls!

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  6. Those pictures are all priceless! Sibling love really is so sweet. My favorite part of the day is when our older girl climbs into bed and my 19 month old always goes to the edge of her bed and waves and gives kisses. The fights when they're older will be insane, but right now I love having little girls.

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  7. Precious photos! We've been thinking about a second but, all those same fears you just mentioned keep popping up...

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  8. Awesome post! We are praying about our second child and thinking we may start trying this summer, but I've wrestled with those same thoughts. I would love for Bennett to have a little brother or sister and you made me want it even more for him! :)

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  9. I needed to hear/read this. At this moment. Hubby and I are discussing baby 2 and I keep thinking there is NO way I can love anyone as much as baby 1. And baby 2 will feel left out and less loved. I needed to hear this. Thank you!

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  10. Sigh..Carl is all "Let's have one and see how we feel" but I totally want 2 already for these exact reasons. I always wanted a sibling that was closer in age (my sister is 11 years older, so we could never relate to each other) and I so want that for my future kids.

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  11. Thanks for this! I could have written this myself. I have two boys 2.5 and 4 months.

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  12. Great post! We are going to start trying soon for #2 and the whole first paragraph of this post are all my thoughts!

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  13. I needed this. The other day I was in tears thinking that baby Kevin will be somuch without when he comes. Without a mom who can give him a ton of attention and without one on one time and without a mom who is not frazzled. Sometimes I feel like I just can't hold together these working days with two kids that the thought of a third can make me freak out a bit. But this is a good reminder that Kevin will be born into a family with TWO bigger loving brothers and he'll have a blast and somehow he'll have all he needs. And it will all be okay. Thanks for this!

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  14. What you describe here is exactly why I want to have another child. What worries me is not how much love and attention they will receive--because as you noted, there is no shortage of that to go around. What worries me is how I will handle having two kids. Just the thought of it overwhelms me... I know lots of people do it, but if I'm honest, it frightens me. I feel like I'm just getting into the swing of things with my one son. I suppose I'll figure it out when the time comes.

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  15. shoot...i thought more of my sanity than their lack of attention bhahahaha

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  16. Katie, I've read your beautiful writings for a while now. You've been posting some adorable videos lately. I was wondering what you use to make them? I am putting together a slide show/video for the end of year for my first year teachers and wanted some fresh ideas on programs to use.

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  17. Having an older child {13yo son} who was 10 when Lily was born, I was more fearful of him feeling "less than" than my own ability to love both. Of course, I made sure to not allow him to feel that way.

    Now, with this pregnancy, I'm totally looking forward to Lily being a super big sister to her baby sister and having a lifelong best friend.

    I heard a quote years ago that I think is so very simple, yet so profound.

    "No two children are born into the same family."

    This came to mind when you said about Eme having a boring baby life. :) The family she was born into was different than Lucy's...

    xoxox

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  18. Thanks so much for posting this (and good timing). I am a little over halfway growing baby #2 and still worry from day to day about how it will impact my son and how things will work out.

    When you said, "Second babies get less love? Not.true. They get more, in fact. More attention, even." it made me feel so much better!

    Both babies were planned, and we'd put thought into adding to our family and the changes a new baby brings, but it was great to read this and get a little perspective!

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  19. Oh my goodness this is an exact answer to every fear that I wrote about in a post I wrote yesterday. Thank you so much for sharing this! I never looked at it in this way!

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  20. Such an amazing post Katie! We are in the midst of debating baby number two and one thing we agree on is that the gift of a sibling is like nothing else in life. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  21. This is so precious! I can't wait to add another little one to our family. Except I can wait.. and I am waiting but there are days when I wish I didn't have to! We have a plan and another year before I am expected to get pregnant. We'll see!

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  22. These are the sweetest photos. :)

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  23. Thanks :) I needed to read this. I'm 11 weeks away from #2 (first has just turned 3 and is the center of the world. lol) Definitely had my share of worries!

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  24. So sweet, those sisters! Those pictures are precious. They will treasure those, I'm sure!!

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  25. SO glad you wrote this! Obviously with Baby James on the way I have these thoughts sometimes too and then I'm all "nah he's going to have it even BETTER!" We all will.

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  26. I love this. I'm the oldest of four and cannot even tell you how much better my life is with younger siblings. Of course, they might not agree, with getting picked on and everything, but they are the BEST!

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  27. You have said EXACTLY what I have felt and do feel now. You are right on sister! I can't imagine my life without either of my girls!!

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  28. Thanks so much for this. I am 20 weeks pregnany with our second son and I've been having these EXACT feelings!

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  29. Wow...I wrote about my thoughts on having a second baby today and someone commented saying I needed to check yours out- I'm so glad I did!! Except, now I'm scared how easily pushed towards having another I am lol. Thank you for this! I'm a new follower on bloglovin. Also? I'm getting back into working out at the gym too and love it! My husband didn't think I would do it either. HA!

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  30. Yes. It is so very true.

    Mine are all tiny extensions of each other, an entire world I'm not a part of. It's so awesome.

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  31. Your girls relationship is so precious right now....I hope they continue to love and entertain each other.

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