I like pretty moments.
I like artsy stuff. And making things. And creating something out of nothing. Crafting to redo little areas of my house. I like party planning (although, admittedly it stresses me out at times). I like moments when my kids smile. I like the fact that my husband and I have a silly joke going about the stupid pancakes we make on (some) Saturday mornings for our kid. It's lighthearted, it's fun. I like snapping a picture when Emeline is wearing a cute outfit because we haven't gotten out of pajamas in days. I like it when I finally do my hair after gym'ing it 5 days a week, because I sort of feel human.
You know what I'm getting at. And I'm sure you're as sick as me about reading about this topic so I apologize in advance for writing about it. But.I.can't.NOT. You follow?
I KNOWWWW it's in lighthearted nature when someone comments on a picture like, "You win!" or "Mom of the Year" or whatever about a photo. But, I just have to say--I would friggin' HATE if somehow one of my pictures ever made someone feel bad about themselves as a wife, mother, or woman in general.
BUT the problem is....
I can't control how other people feel.
You hear that?
I can't control it.
I promise you, I would never try to make anyone feel inadequate. I AM INADEQUATE ALL THE TIME.
I am exhausted. Not present enough with my kids. Have gotten interrupted sleep for way too long. I hate cleaning. My house hasn't been cleaned in a month. I actually pay someone to clean for me because I'm incapable and working from home is hard. Judge me if you must. I am ridiculously bad at organizing. I don't do planned, fun activities with my kids. I was an art teacher and I secretly hate when my kid asks me to do play-doh. It is not all rainbows and butterflies. My kid does not get a fancy pancake every morning. In fact, she mostly gets a frozen waffle, and sometimes she doesn't even want it toasted. (Gasp. Shock. Horror.) Some days, I have to remind myself to have more conversations with Lucy so she gets some socialization because second kid syndrome is a real thing, and she'd rather be off crawling and getting into nonsense herself anyway. My house is never ready for random visitors. Never. There are about 30 people on a list I need To Call about important stuff, and yet I'm typing this instead. I fail miserably at loving well on a daily basis. I apologize to my kids when I'm out of line (which happens). I get the double-pat and "mommy look at meeee", too. Yea, the one that makes mothers feel guilty, but sometimes we are doing other things, and HOLD ON FOR A SECOND, HONEY.
That being said.
Let's stop, puleeease. I think it's stupid to blame social media for how we feel about ourselves.
If I see someone who planned a pretty party, I think Dang, that's awesome. She must have gifts and talents in that area.
When I see someone with a well organized HOME MANAGEMENT notebook, I think--holy crap, that would make my life SO AWESOME and managed!so!well! But the reality is, it will never happen for me. It is their gifting, not mine. It would never work for me. BUT I am glad it does for them.
When someone is out there kicking butt running half marathons bi-weekly I am amazed and in awe, but I certainly don't feel bad about myself because of it. No, I don't. But I do think they're high-five-super-awesome-status for it.
When I see photos of kids licking drippy ice cream cones in little rompers and everyone looks perfectly happy and sweet, I think AWWWWW that is the best! And I also think "oh my gosh, drippy ice cream cones stress me out". Because they honestly do and I'm a fun-suck sometimes about that stuff. BUT BETTER THEM THAN ME.
I do not think anyone has a perfect life. Despite perfect pictures. I do not see a perfectly planned and crafted party and think that the party actually went perfectly from start to finish. I do not see a girl 30lbs less than me and feel awful about myself. I don't see a clean home and feel jealousy about it. I don't feel bad that I hate messy stuff more than I like to admit for being a former art teacher.
I feel confident that you guys who are reading this now know this about me. That when you see a pretty picture you know it's followed up by a chaotic moment. That when you see a smile, it's often followed by a whine (unless it's Lucy, because kid is ridiculously happy--can't lie about that). I know that you see a cool pancake picture on Saturday or Sunday morning but know that I feed her scraps (joke) the rest of the week.
Thank you for knowing my heart is to never make anyone feel bad. Thank you for remembering that we all thrive in some areas, we all fail in others.