Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A letter to my first-time-momma-to-be friend.

A very dear friend of mine is going to me a mommy for the first time come the end of summer. Because of distance I'm missing her shower this weekend, so I mailed her gift instead. I included a letter for her, and I decided since it arrived and she read it, it was okay to share here.


My sweetest friend,

Just writing a little cliché note in this card didn’t feel right. So I apologize if this gets long winded. I just have so much I want to say to you my momma-to-be, friend. You mean so much to me, despite the distance, despite how much we get to “talk”. I love you, dearly and I hope you always know that.

You are so close to the end, girlfriend. But really, the end is such a silly thing to say—because truly it’s just the beginning of a crazy (and I mean crazy), exhausting, rewarding, special, unglamorous, and awesome life. I almost said “phase of life” but I caught myself. I hear that once you become a mom, that title never, ever goes away. So I guess it’s more just like LIFE. Hello. This is your new life. Forever. 

I don’t mean forever in a DUN, DUN, DUNNNN (scary movie) way, of course. Because, while mothering can be scary, it’s more so filled with good things, especially in the beginning—like endless newborn kisses, nurturing your child on your boobs alone, and talks with your husband that go like this: We really made this beautiful child? Good God, we are AWESOME.  It’s okay to be a little prideful of her cute looks. I believe it brings couples together.

But, of course it can be filled with questions and concerns and a lot of am I doing this right? But let me tell you, friend. You are doing it right. Please. Always trust your mom instinct. It is a God-given gift. It’s truly amazing. Like a superpower. For moms. Trust it, sweet girl—trust it.

Sometimes your days will feel incredibly long. Scratch that, you might not even know the difference between days and nights since your life may be lived in 2 hour increments for a while. Know that it’s okay. We’ve all been there. And when you’re awake for the 3948th night in a row at 2am, there are many other sleepy-eyed-zombie-mom’s out there doing the same thing. We unite at this hour. Somehow. I believe it.

It’s okay to ask for advice. You’ll also get a lot of it without even asking—trust me. It’s okay to not take any of it. You can smile and nod and pretend you’re going to take it, or—you feel free to tell people to just shove it up their pie-hole and move on. No one has time to listen to all that. Unless, of course, you want it. In which case, I am always here. Not that I’m any good at this—it’s just, I’m always good for a, You got this Momma, or Trust your gut, and I make a really great booby cheerleader when your nips are so sore you’re curling your toes and squealing. And if you need any of that? I am so your girl. A text. A phone call away.

This little girl doesn’t know what she has coming. In you, she has the most amazing, devoted, loving mother already. She’s pretty freaking lucky. You love so, so well. You are kind, nurturing, calm and assuring. I know this, because you are all these things as a friend—and I know it will transfer to your entire journey through mom-hood.

I love you, sweet lady—and I am so, so, so stinkin’ excited for you to be in it soon. Knee deep. Life changing. Good stuff.

You’re gonna rock it. 


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  1. I'm pretending like this letter was to me because I needed to hear most of it ;) Beautifully written, as always!

  2. Love this. Your friend will be bawling after reading this, ya know with the life changing event on the horizon and all those hormones pulsing through the blood stream. Heck even after 13 months I still get teary eyed occassionally :)

  3. What a perfect, perfect letter! You are such a sweet friend.

  4. I don't even know your friend and I have tears in my eyes. Love it and the truth in it.

  5. Best part being a booby cheerleader! The toe curling pain? Oh I remember it!

  6. Thank you for this! My baby girl is only 4 weeks old and there are so many times I question myself and my actions with her. You are awesome!

  7. This is such a beautiful letter... Each and every word shows how deeply you are connected to your friend and how happy and conserned you are for her...
    Ur so sweet ro write this cute letter
    Keep in touch

  8. Good lawd! Your friend is going to cry buckets! That's the sweetest mommy-to-be letter e.v.e.r! She's lucky to have a friend like you.

  9. Where's my box of Kleenex?

    Good stuff. All true.

  10. This is so sweet! My first baby (a girl!!!) is due at the end of August, so this is just what I needed to read at the moment! Thanks for posting!