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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Consider it made.

If anything solidifies being a parent--it's attending a parent/teacher conference. Cuz, holy whoa.

Let me tell you, today, I had a moment. A moment, guys. Right there, in front of the teacher.

There's just something so--surreal, maybe--about someone who spends time with your kid, observes them, sees them in the trenches of school stuff. Working on their letters. Circle time. Playing with friends on the playground. Communicating needs & working on manners. And to hear that person talk genuinely about adoring your little person, too? Well, wow. That's so nice.

As I'm sitting directly across from her teacher--gosh, a mere 3 feet away, I'm leaning in, listening intently to all the areas, how she's doing...and she gets to the wrap-up. And she just tells me that she is an absolute joy to have around. That she genuinely looks forward to seeing her. That she lights up the room. Is kind to her peers. Good at resolving conflict. Stands up for wrong. And that she's a super sweet little girl, with great manners, and she couldn't be happier to have her in her class.

AND MY EYES WERE WELLING UP WITH TEARS.

I kept telling myself, SELF--stop that right now. STOP getting emotional. This is dumb, and oh my gosh, she can see you getting emotional. You are not hiding anything.

And then I realized, she's a mom, too. She knows that feeling, how it does a mom heart so good to hear these things from another person.

And I stopped caring. I smiled, and thanked her. Told her how nice it was to hear those things and I'm glad she's doing so well.

But my insides were literally beaming. Bursting? I don't know. It was just this feeling, that I really suck at explaining--but, it just helps to know that we're doing something right.

The reason I'm saying that is because, MAN. We have hard days. Em is not The Perfect Angel Kid or anything. And oh no, that's so far from why I'm writing this.

It's more so--I am hard on myself a lot about her. When certain things happen, when she acts a certain way, I think--wow, that's because of me. Because sometimes, I don't have my emotions or attitude in check. Or I'm not being a good example to her. Or I've said and demonstrated the wrong way of handling a situation. There are so many times I feel at my wit's end in a day, and I think, oh God, please don't let me mess up my child.

Look, I'm not writing this be all woe-is-me. I don't feel woe-is-me most the time. It's just--it is serious business raising children, who become people--like real people. And I so much want to raise my girls to be loving, yet strong, confident yet humble, with the gift to truly empathize with others. I want them to love well, and the problem is, her mom, who is that close example in her life-DOESN'T ALWAYS LOVE WELL. So I'm always faced with this thing: I want my children to be better people than me. I do.

Hearing a teacher beaming about my kid did good for my mom heart today. What it did was just show me that this business is HARD sometimes (and I know the hard stuff is even yet to come). But, slow down Mom, you've got a good kid, here. Someone else sees it. Things she learns at home she is taking into real life. All those times we talk about manners and cleaning up, and standing up for what is wrong, and telling the truth? Something is sticking.

WE ARE DOING GOOD.

I am writing this for myself. But I know it can apply to lots of us.

It's just really nice to see it from the other side.


Yep, a preschool conference made my day.

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20 comments:

  1. you're a great mom- despite your imperfections! and em is a freaking fantastic kid!

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  2. We got preschool progress reports (who knew!?!?) and the same thing happened to me. There's just something about hearing that your kid...YOUR kid...is a tiny little person who is learning and growing and behaving and carrying on with life WITHOUT you. Or that's how it was for me anyway. I'm just so darn proud of him.

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  3. That's awesome! Ugh we had friends over today and Chase was all possessive of his toys and I feel like the mom was probably thinking this kid is awful! I stress about conferences. I guess we do the best we can.

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  4. Omg! I'm a teacher at the same school my first grader attends and every time conferences roll around I get nervous I'm going to cry in front of the teacher (and my colleague). And I usually do!! Gets me every time! I guess that means we love our kids fiercly!
    Danielle

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  5. Omg! I'm a teacher in the same school my son attends first grade in. Every time conferences roll around I get this nervous feeling like I'm going to cry when she starts talking about my "baby." And I do! Gets me every time....guess that means we love our kids fiercely!
    Danielle

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  6. This is so sweet! I hope to someday hear similar things about my little guy and I can only imagine that feeling, but you have described how I imagine it might be perfectly. I know I don't know you personally but you certainly seem like a wonderful mom who's doing a great job! I love reading about your adventures in mom'ing because I find them inspiring. :) I think we are much too hard on ourselves far too often. That's why this video makes me so sad...sad that moms don't say enough good things about themselves: http://www.faithit.com/moms-kids-video-confession-touching/ Anyway, thanks for sharing! :)

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  7. I love it! You and Declan are definitely doing it right. Phoebe isn't in school yet, but I really hope when that day comes for her that her teacher sees her as I do. We're all trying our best, but I definitely have many days where I am constantly questioning myself.

    Anyway, I'm glad it went so well and that you got some reassurance that you're doing a good job.

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  8. Love this, and can totally relate. Totally.

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  9. Awwwww so sweet! You have a special little girl there :) xx

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  10. We haven't had conferences and I don't know that we will/do but we get progress reports. I got KP's first one while we were on vaca and I almost cried reading it, she got a perfect score on all areas. It was only a couple of weeks into school so it was only based on her social skills but girlfriend knocked it out of the ballpark and it made me so happy! Like, whoa! she's really doing this! And I really did something right to give her the tools to get such good ratings! wow!!!

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  11. I love going to conferences as well.. Its amazing seeing what they have done throughout the little portion of the year so far, what the teachers think of your child and how they interact with others. It's awesome to hear those things and when they tell me that the main thing Alex needs to work on is not being so social... I will take that :) Love that she is a social butterfly and I am glad you got that moment.. a moment you won't ever forget :) Way To Go Em!!!!

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  12. I wouldn't expect anything less. xoxo

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  13. I love this post!!! My child isn't old enough for PTC yet but I so feel you on fighting those tears because these kids warm your heart.

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  14. Emeline sounds like she is an amazing girl. One that every parent would be proud to have. She has a special heart, and so full of love. I pray, if I have a daughter, she is so full of love as well :)

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  15. I was just saying how much I LOVE pediatrician visits for the same reason - these are the few times we have validation that we're doing a good job as parents! My daughter is only 7 months old, so conferences are a ways off. I'm glad you shared your happy moment!

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  16. This was way too sweet. Kids are a reflection of their parents, just sayin' :)

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  17. I know this feeling, especially with my middle child. He can be SO challenging at home (not that your little girl is!) but he always gets rave reviews at school for his behavior, etc. It is a really amazing feeling. I am so glad you experienced it! :) Love that sweet photo too!

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  18. I love LOVE love this! I empathize with you momma on being too hard on myself and wondering if I'm messing her up for life when that 3 year old attitude makes an appearance. Hugs hugs to you. xoxo.

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  19. There's a quote I see a lot floating around... something like, "Behind every great kid is a mom who's sure she's screwing it up". You are doing so so good. And even though I'm sure Em isn't perfect, you can see her sweetness shine through the pictures you post. And with Lucy, all I see is joy. You've got some amazing little girls, and a ton of the credit goes to you and D. ;)

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