If anything solidifies being a parent--it's attending a parent/teacher conference. Cuz, holy whoa.
Let me tell you, today, I had a moment. A moment, guys. Right there, in front of the teacher.
There's just something so--surreal, maybe--about someone who spends time with your kid, observes them, sees them in the trenches of school stuff. Working on their letters. Circle time. Playing with friends on the playground. Communicating needs & working on manners. And to hear that person talk genuinely about adoring your little person, too? Well, wow. That's so nice.
As I'm sitting directly across from her teacher--gosh, a mere 3 feet away, I'm leaning in, listening intently to all the areas, how she's doing...and she gets to the wrap-up. And she just tells me that she is an absolute joy to have around. That she genuinely looks forward to seeing her. That she lights up the room. Is kind to her peers. Good at resolving conflict. Stands up for wrong. And that she's a super sweet little girl, with great manners, and she couldn't be happier to have her in her class.
AND MY EYES WERE WELLING UP WITH TEARS.
I kept telling myself, SELF--stop that right now. STOP getting emotional. This is dumb, and oh my gosh, she can see you getting emotional. You are not hiding anything.
And then I realized, she's a mom, too. She knows that feeling, how it does a mom heart so good to hear these things from another person.
And I stopped caring. I smiled, and thanked her. Told her how nice it was to hear those things and I'm glad she's doing so well.
But my insides were literally beaming. Bursting? I don't know. It was just this feeling, that I really suck at explaining--but, it just helps to know that we're doing something right.
The reason I'm saying that is because, MAN. We have hard days. Em is not The Perfect Angel Kid or anything. And oh no, that's so far from why I'm writing this.
It's more so--I am hard on myself a lot about her. When certain things happen, when she acts a certain way, I think--wow, that's because of me. Because sometimes, I don't have my emotions or attitude in check. Or I'm not being a good example to her. Or I've said and demonstrated the wrong way of handling a situation. There are so many times I feel at my wit's end in a day, and I think, oh God, please don't let me mess up my child.
Look, I'm not writing this be all woe-is-me. I don't feel woe-is-me most the time. It's just--it is serious business raising children, who become people--like real people. And I so much want to raise my girls to be loving, yet strong, confident yet humble, with the gift to truly empathize with others. I want them to love well, and the problem is, her mom, who is that close example in her life-DOESN'T ALWAYS LOVE WELL. So I'm always faced with this thing: I want my children to be better people than me. I do.
Hearing a teacher beaming about my kid did good for my mom heart today. What it did was just show me that this business is HARD sometimes (and I know the hard stuff is even yet to come). But, slow down Mom, you've got a good kid, here. Someone else sees it. Things she learns at home she is taking into real life. All those times we talk about manners and cleaning up, and standing up for what is wrong, and telling the truth? Something is sticking.
WE ARE DOING GOOD.
I am writing this for myself. But I know it can apply to lots of us.
It's just really nice to see it from the other side.
Yep, a preschool conference made my day.