Sometimes I'll scroll through my instagram if I need a weekend recap. Honestly, I forget stuff. This is one of my favorite reasons for IG. This weekend, at a glance, I could just see. Sheesh. This weekend was a rollercoaster.
You see, our weekend started off with awful news for our whole family. Friday morning we got a call that Gram's (Declan's Grandmother, his mom's mom) surgery recovery had taken a turn for the worst overnight. It was surprising to say the least. We all knew about her surgery, but the risk of complications was so low, because if you know his Gram, she's a fiery little pistol that had a whole lot of life left in her.
After hearing the news that things weren't looking too good, Declan and I just knew we needed to go see her and say our goodbye's just in case. We spent the morning at the hospital with everyone, getting tiny little glimmers of hope about her status. Watching the numbers tick upward. Praying. Please God, we can't take another loss so close to his dad passing away. This is too much to handle.
Family trickled in and out all day. See, that's the awesome thing about this family. There's lots of us. Lots of grandkids. Gram thought she had the best grandkids around. While I'm not technically a grandchild, she always treated me like one from day one. I felt just as close to her as my own Grandmother in lots of ways.
We decided to get the girls home for naps and since things seemed relatively stable, we proceeded with our Friday night as normal'ish as we could be. Still pleading for Gram's life. We went out to dinner, and Emeline begged to see Santa for the first time in her little life. It's not even Thanksgiving, I thought. I think sitting on Santa's lap is creepy, I thought (never was big into that). But then, we just didn't care. Fine, if that's what she wants? To see Santa? Fine.
The good news about seeing Santa before Thanksgiving is that the lines are short. The bad news is, you feel sort of like an idiot. We stood in line with all the little girls in their best santa-dresses (sorry, but they are hideous), boys in christmas ties, and moms and dads in matching ugly-sweaters (I'm not joking). Meanwhile, my kid was in regular 'ole clothes and I looked like the parent who didn't plan to do this, at all. Cuz that was exactly the case, but oh well.
She was timid, but happy to see Santa and tell him all about the Hello Kitty she wanted. I was praying she'd just ask for a stuffie or a dream lite, but no. Then Santa asked her "anything else little girl?" and she said, "no, my mommy and daddy said just one thing". HA. Sorry fat guy in a red suit. Mom and Dad want some of the credit, too.
|iphone pic. crap.|
But she was happy.
The second we left Santa, I walked out to see Declan's face had turned sad. I glanced at my phone. I saw the texts come in from family and my heart sank.
I knew it. Gram wasn't going to make it much longer. It would be within the hour.
We scrambled back to the car, got the kids to my parents house, and got back to the hospital in time to sing around her bedside, give her a kiss, tell her how much we loved her, and hug family. It was gut wrenching watching Granddad say goodbye to his love. My heart couldn't take it.
The next day we spent time with family all together. The compounded grief everyone could feel, especially Declan's mom. Almost 4 months to the day. Losing your husband, and then losing your mom (whom she was very close to). Two of the people that knew her best in this world. It's devastating.
Life is so frail and we are not promised time, that's for sure. It sobering to me, every time.
The next night I had planned to attend my friend Lauren's Little Black Dress party. It felt weird to just go from something so sad, to something fun. But I knew I needed it, I needed the time out, I needed to go. I am so glad I did--it was a blast.
An excuse to dress up and feel all pretty. I didn't even have a little black dress in my closet, people. I thought that was like, Girl-Code to own one? I suck, apparently. Thankfully I had got one a week ago.
We laughed a lot (thanks to the entertainment
Last night I let Emeline set up her mini-Christmas tree in her bedroom. I was reluctant, it's not even Thanksgiving yet. I love Thanksgivinggggg. But it made her heart happy to fall asleep by the twinkly lights. And then this morning I decided to finally let myself click play on the Christmas music.
I think my heart needs it. I also just keep thinking, why the heck not. Nothing is promised to us. Enjoy what makes you happy. This morning, that's Christmas music.
Pray for our family this week. This Saturday we'll be honoring our Gram's life.