Thursday, December 19, 2013

be free.

I never pretend I can do it all, be it all, when it comes to motherhood, etc. In fact, I almost admit too often, to strangers, even, that I do not have my ish together, and look! I'm a trainwreck! It's something I should probably be more embarrassed about, but then again, whatever.

Oh, look who forgot diapers, again. Guess who has to vacuum for the 29382098th time, today--guess who doesn't want to. Guess whose guest is crunching on cheerios as they sit on the couch? Guess whose kid's toys are strewn about in every basket in the house, nothing matching or pairing together anymore? And who's closet literally looks like an explosive blew up in it? Guess who's been stepping over clean laundry for weeks on end, and staring at the same lint balls in the corner of the kitchen and not doing a darn thing about it? 

And these are just the easy ones.

I have no trouble telling on myself. On being all, I REALLY AM A WRECK A LOT OF THE TIME and being OK with it. 

Every once in a blue moon (I'm really not that hard on myself) I'll have these moments where I check myself. Like, maybe this is actually not okay

Last night I was in the bathroom, getting the girl's teeth brushed before bed when I noticed the same crumpled up bandaid trash on the counter, broken hair rubberbands that have laid there for days, and I was about to leave them there, AGAIN, rather than just cleaning it up so I could breathe. (Believe it or not, I actually like order and keeping things neat--it's just, I have trouble staying on top of everything.) 

And I literally heard in my head, "I bet _____ doesn't leave her counters like this. I bet her bathroom is clean. She works a job, has two kids like you. You should probably clean this up, what's your excuse?"

And so I scrambled to clean up the counters, because, you know, so and so would never dare leave hers this way. 

But, as soon as I gave myself a hard time about it, my brain quickly took over. How do I know she keeps her bathrooms clean at all times? What if she actually is more like me, feeling like she's grasping at straws by bedtime, and the stupid counters really are the last of your priority, and is what really matters because, hello alone time, and, peace and quiet. And-the counters can wait. 

I'm not silly enough to think that everyone is like me in my sometimes messy ways. But what I do get is that while I may succeed in one area, you may struggle in it. Or you may be a rockstar when it comes to having a beautiful home-cooked, well balanced meal every day, while I may be crossing my fingers it's time for another chick-fil-a trip. While my house can be an utter disaster most the time, the clean laundry never gets put away, and the sheets on the bed don't get washed as often as they should, you may be killin' it in that department--on schedule with All The House Chores and never missing a check-mark. Meanwhile, I'm over here crunching in cheerios all day long

How can one possibly have it ALL together, all the time? I don't think they do. So the myth of a supermom is just that. A myth.

I really do not think that any one mom is ever a rockstar in all the ways. I think there is no physical way a person could possibly hold it together all the dang time, and do all the things, and still maintain her sanity, hold the love and affection of her family, and have a sparkly, clean home, all the laundry put away, perfect meals on the table, perfectly curled hair, children who wouldn't dare ever misbehave in public, yougetthepoint.

Maybe she lives out there somewhere. The mom who can really do it all. But I haven't met her. Have you? 

If so, she's hiding something. She has to be.

So I'm gonna go ahead in live freely in the fact that I CANNOT DO IT ALL. I am okay with that. My family is happy. I am happy. That is freeing. And gosh darn it, I'm still calling rockstar status.

as you should, too.


(this post randomly fueled after reading this article, which I loved.)


  1. Yes. Love this. I am such a victim of the comparison bug and I hate that I let myself get trapped in the thought that I'm not as good as *her.* Thank you for the reminder that not a single one of us can do it all.

  2. Great post! I'm a working Mom with a "lived-in" house, as my Mom likes to call it. And, it's true...super Mom does not exist. Perfection does not exist. Have a happy day — whether you have clean or dirty counters, girl! xo

  3. As I'm reading your post, all I'm thinking is, 'I should probably go re-wash that load of laundry (that I already washed 3 days ago and never transferred to the dryer) again so the laundry room doesn't start to smell. Ooops? I don't think I will EVER be caught up on housework for the rest of my life. And, as much as it drives. me. crazy. (I'm a huge neat-freak, surprisingly), I'm ok knowing that I can't do it all. And, we'll all still survive if I don't.

    You're not alone, mama! :)

  4. Girlfriend, let me tell you...I feel as though you & I have so very much in common. I read your blog all the time because most days you hit MY nail on the head. I drive myself crazy about things in this post, just like you. I try to tell myself not to worry so much about it, but I'll admit I still do. With two boys the same age as your babies, it's hard to work full time, come home & cook, clean the kitchen, get the boys bathed, both rocked to sleep (because both still want to be & I wouldn't have it any other way), and still have time to pick the house up, get a shower myself, and be in bed before ummmm, say MIDNIGHT. I feel ya, sister! I need to free myself a little more when it comes to just how clean my house is, too. There are so many more important things right now and I just want to enjoy my babies while they are small. I want THEM to feel like they are always the MOST important thing in my life. Thanks for this post. I'm glad I'm not the only other mama who feels this way. :)

  5. OMGosh I posted about this article today too! So freakin' true! I think to myself all the time "so and so would/wouldn't do x,y,z" and what do I know? Nothing. Of course everyone's house looks perfect when you're over b/c they probably cleaned it JUST before you came over, ya know? And you should see mine right now. Toys everywhere. 3 laundry baskets of clean clothes in 3 different rooms. Mail all over. Bottles in the sink {hopefully James doesn't need to eat anytime soon b/c he has NO clean ones}. Dust bunnies making more dust bunnies in the corners. But its all good, I curled my hair today ;-)

  6. I am that mom with the perfectly tidy house because I am a bit OCD. And let me tell you, it is a fucking curse. It is better to be able to let life be a bit messy than to lose your shit when something is out of order. It is really hard for me to let go. I wish I could more!

  7. I am right there with you.. when its bed time.. I want to sit and enjoy some silence, watch a show or just snuggle with my man.. I don't want to be worrying about cleaning up. I like things neat but by no means do I loose myself over it or worry about it. I have kids and my house def looks like that, aint no shame here!! :) I am the one that is running around early in the morning picking things up and orangizing things before the kids i watch get here though.. but I like that, i get it done fast, no kids awake in my way and its nice!

  8. Friend- you ARE rockstar status. So many gifts, talents, and tons of love for your girlies and Dec. I bet they'd all say so too. In the pinteresting world we now live in, I feel that pressure too. Here's to getting it right and being awesome most of the time. And the rest, well, we'll survive. :)

  9. I read that article too!! Yours, and that one, are so very true. I don't know ANYONE who has it all together. And the more we admit that, the more we will see that there are more moms like us than like super mom! It is so very freeing. I just wish I didn't compare my "behind the scenes" with everyone else's "highlight reel"!! Good post!!

  10. Ha! I love this. I'm a lot more lax about cleaning too. Because by the end of the day-all I wanna do is throw myself on the couch and say "PHEW. I made it!!" Because doing bathtime/bedtime all by myself kicks my arse every night! By the time the kids are in bed I feel like I've wrestled 2 crocodiles. And actually eating dinner (or having a glass of wine) is much more endearing than putting away the laundry. We've currently moved in with my Brother and SIL as we just sold our house and she DEEP cleans. Every. Monday. Wahhhh. So I spent my evening mopping our floors instead of enjoyjng my trashy tv show. Maybe by the time we find a new house I will love deep cleaning every week.... Or maybe not so much :)

  11. Thumbs up. I don't know anybody who has it all together either...I certainly don't.

  12. A myth is correct. We cannot all possibly have it all together at all times. Sometimes we rock and sometimes we don't. And, that is okay. Next month may be different or opposite or whatever....but your a good person, a good mom, a good wife and that is what matters!

    Kate @ Raising the Rogers

  13. Your blog is very good blog. Content of your blog is my favorite. Thank you very much