Monday, March 24, 2014

5 Reasons it's OK to have your husband go away

Declan is on a guys trip with my side of the family in Florida for Spring Training. Thank the good Lord he comes home TONIGHT. He up and left us, freezing cold in so-called "Spring", and spent his days in a baseball stadium, by the pool, drinking little umbrella drinks (I kid), and reading. Can you imagine such bliss? I actually can't. So try to imagine it for me. That kind of relaxation is completely out of my realm and capability to even pretend to picture. So do it for me, k? thanks.

Anyway. It was important he go. That they all go, really. My dad really treasures those types of memories--and most of you know about my Dad. He loves baseball. He loves his kids, those that married in. And he loves sunshine. Spring Training is a special memory he's held with my brothers over the they wanted to make sure to get in one last trip while they felt they really could with my Dad. This trip was it.

What it meant for me, though? Was five days single parenting. Which--I must say, woo buddy. I'm not cut out for. But what I do know is the fact that he rarely has to go away is awesome and so I (try) not to complain about these small trips because other wives have to deal with spouses being away for months and months at a time.

But what I did do was come up with a list of 5 Reasons it's OK to have your husband go away.

1. You can load the dishwasher exactly how you want.

This might be a strange one--but it kind of covers a lot of bases. My husband is much more Type-A personality than me. He likes things neat and organized (mostly), I don't really care about such things. Therefore, when I load the dishwasher? It drives him crazzzzzy. I could care less. Hey! If dishes get washed, then who really cares how it looks? But when my husband is away, it's like--WHO CARES! Throw the dishes errrywhere!! No one will see it but me!!!!!!!! (and then I realize this means I'll be the one who has to unload said dishwasher since, well, he's not home to do it, and the novelty wears off fast. But still! Let's not diverge from the case at hand here.) Getting to load the dishwasher without a "really, Katie?" every time-is, well, a novelty 'round here.

This translates to other areas of the house, too. I let much of the day to day stuff roll off my back when he's gone. I didn't stress about vacuuming up all the crumbs every day. If the dishes piled in the sink too long? Ah, well. We're all alive and that's what matters. I usually try to keep things relatively neat, you know, to stay on top of things while he's at work so when he's home from work there's less of that stuff to worry about. When he's gone though, I sort of let the day to day stuff slide.

2. You learn you can do things you usually pretend you can't do.

The internet went down? Call Declan. The trash needs to go out? Call Declan. The laundry needs to be done? Call Declan. The dog needs to go out? Call Declan.

Turns out, I can do all those things (stop rolling your eyes). Granted, I knew I could--it's just, why bother when you don't have to? Trash day rolls around and there's tons of garbage to go out. Guess who's a big girl now? Hauling that trash like a boss. Fixing internet and TV issues. Boom. And oh, yea, doing our weekly loads of laundry? Yea, I guess I'm capable of that, too. My husband happily does the laundry--we've always been a split-household-work kinda couple. But my gym clothes aren't gonna wash themselves.

As it turns out, I can handle it all. But when he gets back, it's back to pretending I can't. Er, or should I say, 'won't', or 'don't want to'. Whichever. (shhhhhh)

3. You can get into bed at 8pm and surrender yourself to netflix all night.

There is no secret that single-parenting is anything but exhausting. Holy moly. The days I know Declan will be home at a normal hour, etc, I mentally tell myself to 'just make it to 5pm'. But when Daddy won't be home allllll night or the next day (or the next, or the next), you just HAVE TO KEEP IT TOGETHER. You have no choice to check-out or hand the duties over to your spouse and just leave the house/the room/lock yourself in the bathroom. So by the time you're done the bedtime routine x2 kids you're just FLAT OUT DONE.

Every single night I retreated to my bedroom at an ungodly early hour, embarrassingly so--with my water, a snack, and Netflix at my fingertips. I mean, it's basically heaven. But there's no one else in the house to hang out with/watch shows with/do adult things with (giggle), so-- I mean, you get to watch episodes of Revenge back to back and not feel bad about it, cuz, you totally earned it after a long, hard day with the kids, alone.

4. You don't have to shower.

No explanation needed. (just plug your nose)

5. You realize how much your spouse actually does. 

It always helps to put life in perspective again when someone is absent. Yep, it's true--he does a lot and our days feel emptier without him around. Whether it's just letting the girls jump into his arms from the steps for hours on end to wear off energy, or, you know, doing all the weekly laundry---his presence is needed and enjoyed around here. So we miss him. We feel a void. Everyday life is better when he's around, even if I have to load the dishwasher a bit neater for his liking. Or, you know, shower my stinky body every so often.

We love him lots & can't wait for him to be home.



  1. I love how you and your hubs love each other!!! It's so sweet and just like the verses of love is patient, kind...! I'm proud of you, 5 days solo parenting and I would be in a looney bin! I've only done 3 and thought I'd die!!

  2. My husband is an account manager and all his accounts are in the Midwest/West (think Montana and Iowa and we live in FL), so he is gone 10-15 nights a month. He's had this job since before we had kids so it's all I know, but it can be tough! Is it bad that sometimes I like reading things like this so people know a taste of my everyday life? We cherish time together as a family, and luckily I have a great support system. And I am super thankful his job allows me to stay home, because with him gone so much I can't imagine working too! Glad you'll have your hubby home soon and he enjoyed his time in the Sunshine State!

  3. Haha. I've gotten used to all of these, so, they don't take much thought any more, but I especially enjoy #4. :)

  4. I constantly have to remind myself of this, even without kids. It always seems like you're the person doing everything and it makes it easy to lose perspective on just how much they actually do too. I'm glad Declan got in a little vaca since now that exxxxtra long solo Target trip won't have you feeling guilty :)

  5. Lol we are the exact opposite with the dishwasher. I'm very type A and everything has to go in a certain place in it. He puts stuff wherever and I'm like "ahh you can fit so much more in here when you do it neatly!" :)

    Glad he got some time away and I hope sometime soon you get the chance to do the same. I'm with ya when Marcus is gone and I realize how much he DOES do (gets all the boys ready and in the car in the mornings for me is a big one)

  6. Awww.. so sweet!
    Also, you'll be proud, I ordered a Polar Watch and it just came in today! Can't wait to put it to good use!

  7. 5 days on your own?! Super mom! That's awesome he was able to do that with your dad though.

  8. You don't have to shower might have been my favorite part! LOL ;)

  9. Hahaha yes! I come up with lists like this whenever my husband has to go away - it's always shocking to realize both how much I am capable of single-handedly and how exhausting it is do be on call 24-7!

  10. I did the solo parenting thing for 4 days last week, and although he is home, 16 hour days are still around. I totally agree with this ENTIRE post, especially the dishwasher part!